I have or at least, I had 2 best friends. I was the youngest of the three but I am/was the most successful thus I was the first one of us to move out of the house of the parents and get on my own.
When I was 21, the oldest of the three of us, he started dating a girl that lived in Virginia.. LDR I know strike one. I’m from Arkansas by the way. Anyway, she wasn’t even ****ing cute. At least not to me she was from Barbados and had the whole dread lock hair thing going and I wasn’t feeling it. She wasn’t Ugly but my friend had done much better. It’s lke he subscribed to the **** the hot ones but settle down with an avg looking girl belief.
Anyway, she came down here for an extended vacation of like a month and because I had an extra bedroom in my crib and he did not want to be shacked up with the girl in his house he asked could he live with me the month she was there. **** he practically lived there anyway lol so I was like sure dude I don’t give a ****. My LTR girl who I had dated for like 6 months by this time was living with me and we all got along.
Anyway, she gets here, I had just “retired” so I wasn’t working so every night we were up playing spades watching movies **** was ****ing fun for a minute. About.. about the week before she was to go back her and amber (my GF) started spending a lot more time together by themselves. I really liked amber and I didn’t see this as a bad thing, I figured it was good they got along because my friend was head over heels over this girl and I saw what was coming.
Anyway, one Sunday morning amber wakes me up and says look backbreaker I need to tell you something, but I don’t’ know if I can tell you. I don’t know how to tell you this. Now at first I was thinking okay come on spit it out who’d you **** lol; and she was like no no it’s not me it’s nothing like that. Andrea (my friends GF) has had me to cover for her for the last 2 times we went out. The first time we went to a club but she was meeting someone there. They kissed and stuff but I figured you know it’s none of my business but this time she just flat out didn’t’ go to the club she went to the dudes house and she asked me to to cover for her and I can’t do that to you.
Now, this dude, is completely 180 over this girl. I sat on this for like a week. I didn’t know what to do. Then when she left he told me how much he loves her and how he was thinking of proposing. He was just 22. I said okay bro enough is enough I got something to tell you so I told him. now he knows I have no reason to ****ing lie to him. so him and me and my other best friend who has basically by now just migrated to living on my couch lol have a tribunal and we say look bro she’s got to go.
Now mind you this isn’t some dude I had just met. I have known this dude since the 4thg rade. We have slept over each other’s houses, gone to each other’s family functions, **** I’ve gotten whipped by his momma lol. We are brothers in all but DNA.
So what happens? He confronts her. He breaks up with her. Even though she cheated on him, she really did like him a lot so she fought to get him back. I told him to cut contact. Nothing good can come from talking to her. He wouldn’t listen. “we are still friends”. She would feed him information about how she didn’t do what she asked. And then one day they get into it about it and she asks him to call amber my now EX GF and confirm the story, now knowing that she just moved to Virginia and I broke up with her that he can’t do this, she wins the argument on an acquittal lol. they start dating again.
But now instead of us being all cool and **** now she’s feeding him **** about how I’m a player and how I am just jealous of their relationship ., my other friend isn’t the problem I’m the one she has to get rid of because I’m the one with the first hand knowledge of the situation. She doesn’t like my influence over him. She doesn’t like me having girls and sometimes their friends over my house all the time now that I’m single and plate spinning to the max. she seals the deal by moving down here when she graduates and the day she moved he basically just feel off the face of the earth.
So about 2 months of this go by and I call him and I say dude, WTF get your ass over here. And he’s like man I’m trying to do the relationship thing and what you got going on over there isn’t gonna work right now with what I’m trying to do. this is my best mother****ing friend in the world. That **** cut me to deep. That hurt. That hurt just about as much as any girl ever breaking up with me hurt. I love to this day I love the dude.
Anyway, I learn through the grape vine.. they get married. I wasn’t even invited to the ****ing wedding. This dude played the piano at my dad and my mother’s wedding. We go from that to not even being asked to ****ing show up to his. About 2 years ago, which would make him 28, they got a divorce because he found out she had an affair. I learn this through my dad who runs into him from time to time because he works at the airport. Now he’s trying to get back in contact with me, giving my dad his new phone number and telling me to call him, etc, and I can’t’ do it, I don’t pick up friends who discard me no more than I pick up plates who say they want now to **** me. He made his choice he has to live with it. I’m not going to let friends just **** me over every time they are getting their **** wet. it kills me growing up that we used to assume we'd always be there for each other, we'd have kids and our kids would play with each other, now i have a son who is damn near 5 who he's never seen. that kills me. that's not how the tape was supposed to play out. i have a wife who has never met my best friend. who doesn't even know how i would act around a best friend. that kills me. all over "doing the right thing" all over some bull****. if i would have let him do what he was going to do anyway and he came to me one day and said backbreaker man what the **** am i doing wrong, i see you got this **** down pack how come i don't then i could have broken it down to him. but you lead someone to recovery who isn't ready for it, friend or not and they are going to associate you with the problem. My mom asks me all the time "what happened to your friend you guys were brothers now you don't talk did you get in a fight or something?" i don't even know what to tell her lol. i told him his girl was cheating on him and he married her and stopped talking to me lol?
then the other friend just got too butthurt i was now pulling tail better than his and tried to **** the amber girl on the DL and didn't think i would find out.. But the older friend wasn't cut out like that he didn't have those type of ego issues he was just a BETA male who was able to mask it b eucse he was a star athlete for so long but now he was suffering
this is one of the things i ponder about now at almost 30... reaching out back tot hem.. but we have grown so far apart i don't know if it's worth it anymore. I'm not the same guy as i was then. But I miss them like hell. over some bull****.
See, the friend in you wants to protect your friend. But you can’t. I would give just about anything to not have told him that, because now I know he was going to do what he wanted to do regardless of what I tell him to do because that’s what he wanted to do. but at least I’d have my best friend back. There is nothing I could have done to prevent him from going down the path that he went through. And this is a guy who got all kinds of ***** in HS. He’s the one who taught me how to play the piano, he’s very gifted and he was the school’s star basketball player and he’s a good looking dude who like me is pretty intelligent. We were 2 of the 4 black people in TAG lol.
So you have to ask yourself what is important. The red pill or your best friend. If she has her hooks in him like this girl had her hooks in my friend you won’t be able to have both.
