Ex's friends spill guts + the evils of alcohol :(

[cactus3178]

Oh, boy. Where to start....DON'T be like me:

I went to the local bar with a female friend last night, one of my ex's best friends. Nothing weird or anything like that, we are just FRIENDS (I know some of you have a hard time grasping the fact that guys can actually have female FRIENDS). Everything was going great, kicking it and drinking beer, had a couple shots of Jager (Love that stuff). My ex's cousin called me up and wanted to meet up with us, and I like the guy, so he came down and we hung out and the three of us played pool and drank.

What happened next is still so fresh in my mind that I get pissed all over again typing this:

Ex's cousin says to ex's friend "So, I'm not coming to Idaho with you guys because me and (cactus) are gonna go bang some ho's this weekend". She says "Okay, have fun!". I interject "No that's quite alright, I'm not really ready for that quite yet"

***I know I should be dating, but I'm still a little fucking bent about the last relationship I had***

Ex's cousin says "Man, you and Jenn (my ex) are done". "Your done". I said "Uhhh....I guess..."

So ex's cousin gets a serious look on his face and says "Dude, I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but..."

And then he and ex's friend proceed to tell me a ton of stuff I wish I would have known a long time ago. Evidently, my ex has been on the lookout for a replacement for some time now. She planned to go to Idaho (where she has alot of friends) to hook up with some dude, and a ton of other BS.

Truth be told, this girl has told me the opposite of the information I received last night, and it honestly did hurt me to listen to that.

So, by this time, I'm kinda buzzin....to much to be driving legally....so stupidly, I decide to jump in my truck and go up to her house to bury this thing once and for all. At 2:30 in the morning. Walked in the door and un-fucking-loaded. Called her a lying byatch, told her that I had lost all respect for her, and that I wouldn't get back with her in a million years.

She denied everything (I didn't say who told me), told me to go to hell, and threatened to call the cops if I didn't leave, so I left. She asked me to call her when I got home to see if I made it okay, WTF?

I called when I got home 6 minutes later, and she was crying uncontrollably....I told her I hated her, to make it count with the next guy (she swears she'll never sleep with 5 people in her lifetime, I'm #4), and told her if she wanted to tell me the truth face to face, she could come by the next day and tell me.

She left here 5 hours ago, after denying everything. She told me whoever told me that was full of shit, and that she was definitely not interested in ever being with me again after my little stunt last night. She told me I wasn't 'marriage material'. I wished her good luck in life and sent her on her way.

Lesson of the day: Don't let alcohol influence you to do retarded things like this!

Amazingly, I still feel horrible about everything. I shouldn't have done what I did, but the more time goes by, I actually DISLIKE her more for dumping me in the first place. The day I learn to let go is the day I'll be a free man. I hope that day comes soon. I wish I knew why the thought of her being with somebody else revolts me...she's not even mine anymore.

Thank God it's finally over. This relationship needed a bullet in the head over a year ago.

/long vent

 

[KiInCollege]

You ready for the withdrawal symptoms? You're pissed now, but how about a week from now?

 

[cactus3178]

I'll be fine a week from now. I'm gonna force myself to be fine because I can't take this shit anymore from her. Maybe she's telling the truth, maybe not. I don't care anymore. This is way too problematic.

The last year wasn't a relationship, it was a nightmare. It's gotta end.

 

[Walden]

Dude , keep that head up.

 

[MindOverMatter]

We (men) pursue. A relationship can be over, and we can pursue the next day.

Girls don't pursue, when a relationship is over, they don't go out looking for phone numbers the next day like we do. They wait to get approached. Sometimes they don't wanna leave a relationship and risk waiting forever for someone to approach them. So what do they do? If they are in a relationship and they get approached, they save the guy as their BFs potential replacement. That's why girls usually have a boyfriend the very next week after dumping your ass, it's because that guy has been your backup for the last few weeks/months.

Every girl you date will be approached by your potential replacements and she will hold on to their contacts in case your relationship doesn't work out. It could be an e-mail addy, a IM handle, a phone number, whatever.

This shouldn't come as a surprise to you. It also shouldn't bother you because two can play this game. Even if you are in a LTR, you should always have backups. Approach girls and get numbers at least 4 times a week. Always practice your game. Never be without a backup. If you had backups during this relationship, this whole situation wouldn't have pissed you off.

Other then that, never stop being a DJ, and never let a b!tch make you lose your temper. Driving up to her house and yelling at her made you look immature as hell, and it didn't accomplish anything. Now she knows that a.) she did the right thing in getting rid of you, and b.) she got to you. Never give any b!tch that kind of satisfaction. Should have just ignored her ass and moved on with your life, looking for a new girl the very next day.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by cactus3178
Lesson of the day: Don't let alcohol influence you to do retarded things like this!

Lesson of the day: Don't be a whiny chump who screams and b!tches at his ex when he finds out that his ass was due for replacement, as if it's ENTIRELY her fault and NOT his at all, instead of realizing that IT'S OVER, that when she knew that it was over and when she cheated on you, etc, etc, has NO BEARING on ANYTHING any more, and it's time to learn from your mistakes and move on.

 

[KiInCollege]

Ah, let the man recover. It sounds like a long, drawn out relationship. And by recover, I mean go on some dates this week

I like what MindOverMatter wrote. It reminded me of the girl monkey that swings from branch to branch - having that seed BF ready for when you break up...

Heh, could we really pull off actively getting numbers while in a LTR?

Girls have it easy - they can flirt more indirectly. But with this logic, it would only be fair that if you suspect a rocky LTR, you'd get new numbers. I know I've hunted for new numbers in the past when I knew a relationship was going sour, but not before the sour-point.

But, it's more risky for us as we must be more direct than our sour GFs, and it's a small world.

Don't for a moment think it's your fault, Cactus. I don't want you thinking that she may have been telling the truth. There's little reason for her cousin and friend to lie. And it sounds like this was the needed catalyst to put down a rocky LTR.