Duke Progress Journal (DPJ)

[Duke]

What's up muthafukkas? Let's jump right into this beast...

I found sosuave way back in March, and soonafter, I had the usual epiphanies. I thought to myself, "OMG, I've been the king of AFCs and I didn't even know it." Then I recognized that I had a problem, I began to recover.
Among the revolutionary posts I read were Pook's "Be a Man,"
Photo 1's "For those who just CAN'T approach" and Mr. Fingers' "Weapons of Mass Seduction."

Everything was on the upspin. I was conscious of my AFC behaviors, and I was intent on ridding myself of those plagues.
I started working out every other day, getting a lot of sleep, eating healthy, getting numbers, and for the first time in years I was positive and HAPPY!

I was convinced that I was on the road of DJ greatness. I got numbers like never before in my life. I started standing up straight and using a sensual tone in my voice. I couldn't help but smile at the mysteries that are people. I instantly saw the positive in every person I met.

I was proud of myself for rising through the ranks, for what I had accomplished. I had completely turned around my shytty attitude, I was healthier, and I was no longer intimidated by girls. I embraced concepts like challenge ,mystery , C&F, and scarcity...

HOWEVER
As time wore on, I became lax-- like the once great kings and emperors of ages past. I became too satisfied with what I had done. My progress stagnated. I actually began to regress when my PE class (in which I had been weightlifting) was swapped out for Free Enterprise. My confidence dwindled as I no longer had a hard-body. I became depressed at the thought of having gotten so many numbers and having no way of setting up a true date. I just got my license and my parents are anal about letting me take the car out on the weekend. Basically, that left me to bum rides with friends and only interact with girls during "group outings."

****block after ****block resulted. This leads me to where I'm at today.

I'm tired of making excuses for myself. I'm tired of letting my parents have so much control over my life. I'm tired of letting other people's negative psychological filters (riminiscent of my old AFC filter) influence the way I think and the decisions I make.

My ultimate goal is to bust through all of this shyt and to become my Ideal Self.
I am going to do this by forming goals for myself in a sort of improv BootCamp fashion. On Friday, I'll be going out to a skating rink and a bowling alley with some friends. My goal is to get at least 3 numbers that night.

I am going to kick this thing off tonight by beginning to re-read the DJB.

Feel completely free to comment, share your own experiences, whatever you want. Any input is good input!
Let's do this!
Duke

 

[AC/DC]

Personally, I don't think you're gonna do a damn thing,

Why?

Because you say you are.

Fundamental flaw. Zen masters know that no amount of talking is proportional to true understanding.

A popular Zen poem that captures enlightenment is:
"Those who speak of it do not know it.
Those who know it do not speak of it."

When you go out there, and say you've become your ideal self, then I will acknowlwedge that you have truly accomplished something great.

Less talk, more do!

 

[Señor Fingers]

Originally posted by AC/DC
"Those who speak of it do not know it.
Those who know it do not speak of it."

Less talk, more do!

Bingo!

Knowledge may be power, but this power is useless until it becomes ACTION and flourishes into wisdom!

As for people controlling your life, get used to it man. You will always have to answer to someone. Either a boss, the IRS, or whatever. Total freedom is an illusion in the external world.

True freedom is found within. Learn to thrive in any situation and you are halfway there!

Also *smacks Duke in the back of the head* What the hell are you doing sitting there typing while your body slowly decomposes?

I want 50 pushups NOW soldier!!!

Hell, I will set the example myself and bust out a quick 50 right now....

 

[Duke]

I'm simply writing down my goals; that's a fundamental part of getting things accomplished. I understand that action is necessary, definitely. Bruce Lee operated by a quote similar to the Zen one you posted.

Also, the "irritational speaker," Larry Winget, stressed the importance of action. "Contrary to popular belief, knowledge is NOT power. The implementation of knowledge is power."

And I intend to implement my knowledge. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you. If I am, then guide me through the fog.

 

[Duke]

Fingz, you're right about freedom, and that really does take a weight off my shoulders. With that in mind, I will hopefully not feel like a freedom fighter on the ropes.

*rubs back of head*
Ow!
But you're right! And AC/DC's point is becoming clearer too. It's easy to sit here and philosophize and be an arm-chair DJ, but its another thing to actually get out there in the zone where the bullets are flying. *Straps on helmet and starts his push-ups.*

 

[Duke]

Today, my mom brought me to the doctor's office so that I could get some immunization shots. After that, we went to Jason's Deli (a lil Subway-type place). I spotted 3 HBs converging over in a booth, so I chose the booth behind them. I didn't try to talk to them when my mom was sitting down with me, but eventually she rose up to go wait on some take-out food.

I saw this as an opportunity. 2 HBs were facing me, and the other was facing the same direction as me. There was a little TV up near the ceiling, and I pretended to watch that (I was purposely acting detached and unfazed by the HBs). But blonde HB8 makes eye contact with me and smiles. I saw this as a "Go" signal.

I had overheard them whining about exams, so I tried to steady my voice and use natural body language when I looked their way and said "Exams are coming up, huh?"
Blonde HB6: We're actually taking them right now.
Me: Ah, don't study! Just be a bum
...This was met by a general unsettling. They put on a smile and a little giggle, but they didn't seem to be amused. Money-grubbin biatches!

They asked me where I went to school. I told em.' Then I asked them where they went to school. Turns out they go to LSU and are quite a bit older than I thought, maybe 20. I told them they looked younger than they were, maybe 16-17 years old.
They commented that other people had said the same thing.

Anyways, I knew my mom would be coming back, and I wanted to leave that place with no regrets. I thought of asking for their numbers, but I didn't want to ask for ALL of their numbers, and I didn't want to single one out, either. So I grabbed a pen out of my pocket and scribbled my info on a napkin.

As they were leaving, they walked past me on their way to the door. I go "Hey." They said things like "Hey, nice meeting you." I stuttered at the beginning b/c dammit, I am STILL not comfortable around hot chicks. Anways I go... "I am going to CH...LSU next year, so ya'll can wine me and dine me if ya'll want. Here." Then I gave them the napkin.

They're like "Ok, maybe we can do that! Bye, Devin!"
When they were almost out the door but still in earshot when I heard one of them say "Crazy, crazy!"

At that point I was thinkin, "Holy crap, did I come off like a perv/stalker dude? A moron?" On the way home, I determined that I would learn from the experience. For one, I think I was too focused on my posture, and came off a bit stiff, and I spoke too fast as well. Occasionally they had to stop the flow of conversation and say "What?"
Maybe they thought I was crazy because of the age difference. I dunno, but it definitely knocked my confidence. It makes me belive that I'm coming off as canned, a mannequin--instead of natural.

Is it the Kiss of Death to think about this? That's what my instincts are telling me, but this is bothering the hell out of me, and I don't want to make the same mistakes over and over.

 

[Walden]

Finally someone on this board who'se out DJing.

If you came off as nervous then maybe you gave off a bum vibe, guys don't usually approach groups of 3 or more girls (except in clubs and even wen I do it then i have wingbuddies). But hey good on you for trying some new ****. Try 1 on 1 or 1 on 2 cold approaches you kight get better luck. Keep it up bro.

 

[Don Ronny]

First of all, you did fine. Congrats on facing your fear!

You just need to relax and act much more natural and laidback. If it helps to take them down a notch, try to imagine these hotties as UGs. (Add about 50 lbs )

You only came off crazy because you tossed your number at them at the last minute. You could have been more playful with them...

Duke: You know...scientists have been doing all sorts of research and found that too much studying can be hazardous to your health!

Girls: No way, you are making this up!

Duke: Its true I tell ya! I read it in the Times yesterday. Research shows that the best way to counteract the negative effects of studying (pause) is to hang out with handsome guys (point to self) and buy them beer/take them out dancing/whatever...

Girls: (smiling or gigling)

Duke: (singles out the most receptive girl) I tell you what..YOU seem like you have been doing the most studying and I can tell are in grave danger, so being the gentleman that I am, I will bite the bullet and let you give me your number (hands her pen and napkin) Its okay ..You can thank me later! (smiles)

Thats just one of a million ways to play it. Once you get over the nerousness and do this consistently, you will find yourself inventing approaches on the fly.

just relax and have fun. treat it like a video game. You mess up and all you gotta do is hit Reset and start again on some other girls..there are plenty of them out there, so hop to it!

 

[Duke]

Thanks guys!!

Walden: You're damn right, man!! Actual field experience is the best teacher by far. Since YOU are out there getting first-hand experience, you are much more likely to REMEMBER what you learned. It's no different from when I was learning to drive. My dad told me over and over to check my blindspots before I changed lanes. But it never sunk in until I tried to change lanes and almost sideswiped a truck on the highway.
Now I ALWAYS check my blindspots. The best advice I can give to aspiring DJs is to actually go out there and get your hands dirty.

Don Ronny: Yah, they probably freaked when I threw my number at them. GREAT TIPS, by the way! From now on, HBs aren't curvy-- they aren't pretty-- they aren't cute-- they are Rosie O'Donell! At least in my mind lol.
OH! And the video game tip... AWESOME. I've played video games all my life, so this is something really easy for me to slip into.
Number---1000 points
Kiss--------5000 points
Fukk-------10000 points
Ok, ok, I'll stop .
And no matter what happens, I can always hit RESET. Ahh, life's good. It's also nice to reframe all this as a GAME, because it is.
Eventually, I plan on having the confidence and spontaneity to think of approaches like the one you just gave an example of. LOL that was brilliant! It went along with "seeing yourself as the prize" and still forces the man to take the initiative, and everything's light and fun at the same time.
Two thumbs up!

Don't know when I'll get more experience. Hell, it could happen any day, but exams are coming up, so chances are I'll be MIA for a week or so. But once holidays hit, I'll be out there all the time.
Thanks again, bros.

 

[Duke]

New Years Eve Party, woooo!

I'm a big fukkin idiot, woooo! Well at least 70% lol.
When a chick initiates kino with me, it should be a big fat GREEN light slamming into my face, right? But I still find it difficult to reciprocate b/c even though REALITY is telling me she's digging me, old subconscious thought patterns like to worm themselves to the surface of my brain and make me doubt myself.

Sarah Prologue:
You guys can rag on me for this because I deserve it. Before and after I met Sarah at the movies, we talked for HOURS on AIM and on the phone. Now I know I should have just "set up the date" and hung up, but she lives like 20 miles away from me, so its not easy to do. I don't want to lose touch with her. Aside from that fact, she doesn't drone on endlessly like most chicks. She is interesting, witty, and can hold her own in a verbal spar. Definitely a keeper.

Well, you guys saw it coming like a freight train from a mile away...after confessing to me that she likes me on the phone, I felt it was safe to tell her that I feel the same way....
LJBF


She's 5'10 and I'm 5'6 1/2.
I didn't want a part of her if she would have issues with that fact. And I told her that on the phone. I made it clear that I didn't want her to have the height issue in the back of her mind. And we had an emotional thing over the phone. I tried explaining to her that physical attraction is just as much an element of a relationship as everything else. To my surprise she says "Well, it's not that easy-- I AM phsyically attracted to you, I mean you're a good-looking guy. You've DEFINITELY got personality. It's just the height thing."
Wow... I'm good-looking? I've definitely got personality? Haha, guys I am NOT using this as an opporunity to brag, I was genuinely ASTONISHED when she said that to me. It was a confidence boost like nothing else in the world. It leads me to believe that a LOT of guys out there really don't give themselves enough credit, just like I didn't give myself enough credit.

The next day she told me to try to forget the phone conversation. That she likes me as a friend, but not like I'm thinking. She said she did it because she needs to get over the height issues. I then decided to myself, "Ya know what, I'm not gonna be like 500,000 other jackasses. I'm not gonna get all pissy and bitter about this."
So I use a lil reverse psychology and go "Aw yeah really?! I didn't think it felt completely right, either, but you're so cool you know? You're actually right, we have an awesome friendship. I wouldn't want anything to get in the way of it "

Well this was a last ditch effort. In a sense, I REALLY DID WANT HER AS A FRIEND!! So that helped me pull this off in a more genuine sense.
I continued talking to her like I had before with just as many sexual innuendos. I kept this up for about a month. I subtly let her know that I was talking to other girls, that they wanted pics of me etc. Her response, "Ooh, Mr. Hot Stuff."
Female jealousy, guys... IT WORKS LOL.

I let her know that I valued her for her mind. Now please don't think that I just stood up and said "You know, Sarah-- I value you for your mind!!" Lol, NO!! I'd laugh with her a lot b/c she's funny. If she had a touching thought, I'd let her know how thoughtful and deep she was. All of this was tinted by a flirtatious playfulness (to let her know I'm not an android afc of course).

One time she kept going on about Clay Aiken. Blah blah blah. Then she started getting more personal about her various likes and dislikes. She could tell I was disinterested, because she said "Ok, I'll shut up now." I said "Good, I'm not Oprah." She responds to my delight "*sigh* You'll never be one of the girls."
Score one for the good guys
I go, "Awesome, girls drool" which then started up a little CF verbal spar between us.

Over the course of time, she gradually came around. I know it sounds un-fukking-believable but I HAVE TURNED AROUND A LJBF about 160 degrees. She started warming up to my flirtations with her. I made fun of her for wearing granny panties, and she goes "Oh I will have to show them to you "
And we also roleplayed that the world would end on New Years and that we would be the only two people left on earth. She played along with the whole thing, agreeing to fukking me to repopulate the world. It was awesome.
ROLEPLAYING IS GOLDEN!

The New Years Eve Party:
So I finally get there tonight for the New Years party. Bonfire going etc. I'll condense the night to hit the main points. Ok reception, I'm still trying to gauge friendliness from sexual invitation at this point. I make sure I walk away from her several times to talk to my other friends. This disturbs her a great deal. At one point she goes "Oh, you're gonna go sit with them huh. I see the way it is, fine!" I responded "You can come, too!"

It should be noted that Sarah broke her back a few weeks ago in a 4-wheeler accident. However, she is OK and is walking. She is expected to fully recover, but in the meantime she has to wear a backbrace.

I get her isolated except for one of her UG friends. I poke fun at her breastplate... I mean... backbrace . SHE THEN INITIATES KINO ON ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She tells me to lift up my shirt cuz she wants to see my stomach. Well, fukk, woman!! It's the holidays, I'm not working out at the moment, I'm eating whatevers around, shyt! So I put on some fat that I'm not proud of.

Earlier on the phone, she told me she hates 6-packs b/c they gross her out, so I stupidly gave myself a license to slack off on my health regimen. Bad move, fukk what she thinks lol. I'm gonna get buff again in the next 3-4 weeks.

Anyways, I lift up my shirt and DA BYTCH POKES MY STOMACH A COUPLE TIMES AND THEN TAPS MY STOMACH WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND FOR A FEW SECONDS. Then she goes "Hm not bad, I like a little pudge." Lol, I don't know if that was a neg-hit or if she was trying to make me feel better, but it made me a little insecure. Which is probably why I didn't kino her back *bangs head against wall*.

Later it was getting boring outside. So I suggest she show me her room. She asks if a few other people want to come. --Maybe she doesn't want to go to her room with me alone, or MAYBE she honestly wanted to know if her friends wanted to see her room (because they, like me, had never seen it before). We get to her room. She's sittin in her desk chair, with her back turned to the computer. I lean over behind her and go through her ***** files to put on some music.

She asks what I'm doing, and I tell her that I'm looking through her music. LOL, the whole point of that shyt was to invade her space-- subtle kino. Apparently it worked b/c SHE SLAPPED MY ASS. I turned my head and looked around with a ****ed eyebrow but didn't say anything. A few minutes later she threw me this AWESOME pillow made out of this spongey shyt. She says "feel that, doesn't it feel like boobs?" I go "Hm, yeah, it kinda does." She goes "Oh, I guess you wouldn't know..."

AHAHAHAHA! Oooh, a neghit from da bytch!! I like this girl.
Later, she rested her feet on the bed I was sitting on. I noticed she kept sliding them closer and closer towards me, and the temptation was through the roof, so I glided my thumb from the bottom of her heel to the ball of her foot. Yep, she's ticklish. She squirmed and smiled at me.

Things were coming to a close. When I was about to leave her house, she gave me this HUGE hug that lasted like 20 seconds. It was cool. I tried to get an ass-squeeze in, but I think I got her breastplate instead lol.

In short, she did some bold kino on me tonight, and I didn't reciprocate as much as I should have. It'll be interesting to see what happens with Sarah and I. If I completely turn around a LJBF, I want someone to kill me so that I can die happy.

Cheers! Happy New Year!!!!

 

[AmgineEX]

Good job, keep up the good work We're proud of you!

You played it smoothe with her. She might not turn into relationship material because sooner or later, the bumps you made earlier is gonna hop into the convo, but this can definately take a turn into the fvck buddy section. And take my word for it, fvck buddies are much better for HSers than a ltr. One word can sum it up, drama. HS girls are HUGE drama queens, they live for it. You might think this girl's different but they are ALL drama queens. Just mess around with her, keep it light, and it'll be rewarding for both of you.

Another note, see other girls too. Social proof is a big thing, it'll just strengthen your relationship with all the other potentials too.

 

[Duke]

I sure hope she turns into a FB, man!! It turns out I DID grab her ass, because she asked me about it. Later she said that she sees it as "innocent." Please tell me she doesn't slap the asses of her male friends, ruffle their hair, and look at their abs. If all that's platonic, it's too much of a temptation, and I might leave. Or she might just be fukking with my head, shyt testing me.

 

[Duke]

I got a question. I don't really ask for advice much, but I need a second opinion on this. Should I be upfront with Sarah and tell her that if we're only friends, then its not worth it? Or should i just stay patient... I mean, she says she's gonna blow on my stomach and like I said, she has played with my hair and slapped my ass, and slapped my stomach a few times.

But I believe it is possible that it's all out of friendship. She told me a lil while ago that "blowing on your stomach is as far as I'm going to go with you"

That's pretty gay...
Then again she could be joking. I just don't know. What do you think?

 

[AmgineEX]

If you're not sure about the current situation, then play blind chess. You move when you feel like she's making a move. Move accordingly Don't tip your king (ie:ljbf her) yet. She might be playing hard to get, just stick with your routine.

 

[Señor Fingers]

I was going to post my answer here but I started to ramble a bit...

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45116

 

[Duke]

Originally posted by AmgineEX
If you're not sure about the current situation, then play blind chess. You move when you feel like she's making a move. Move accordingly Don't tip your king (ie:ljbf her) yet. She might be playing hard to get, just stick with your routine.

That's what I did at the New Years Eve party. However, tonight I reverted back to AFC a bit in my opionion. She kept prodding me to know what I was thinking and I folded. However, I tried to keep my self respect intact by telling her things like "I saw you as a friend, too!" So not totally AFC... but still, I should have remained a mystery.

Originally posted by Señor Fingers
I was going to post my answer here but I started to ramble a bit...

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45116

Fingers!!! You have inspired me so much! I just emailed you the conversation I had with her tonight. It's a shyt-load of reading, and if you get through it, then you deserve a medal. But as I said in my email to you-- it will give you a lot of insight on my current abilities, and I think it will help guys out that are in the same situaiton-- guys that are in a relationship with a "Flirty Disney Girl" as I like to call them. These are girls that "unintentionally" flirt and are "totally unaware" that they are leading you on. In one breath she tells me that she cherishes me as a friend. The next moment, she is spanking my ass, smiling, and ruffling my hair. All in innocent fun. Doesn't make sense to me, but Fingers did a pretty thorough job of explaining it in his reply link on this page.

Tell me watcha think about that messy conversation, Fingz. Thanks to all the guys following the story as well.

 

[Walden]

Originally posted by Duke
She told me a lil while ago that "blowing on your stomach is as far as I'm going to go with you"

It means she wants to suck your dcik dude.

 

[Duke]

Walden, it WOULD seem that way, huh? But we have openly talked about sex before, and bl0wjobs disgust her. See, man. This girl can't be read for shyt. She says or does something suggestive and then refuses to even admit that it was suggestive in the first place. Her excuse for running her hands through my hair? "You have cool hair!" I also asked her if she went around slapping her female friends' asses and she said she, in fact, did.

 

[Mr_Pink]

Oh, and I'm not DJing Walden?? Come on, cut me some slack.

Keep up on Journal. I've got one. Well, numerous since my first one went six pages, so I put out new ones every now and then. I suck though, I have horrible, horrible luck, but I keep trying at least...

-Mr. Pink

 

[Walden]

Easy there Padawan.