Viper
Banned
I want to know, do you guys think, simply going up to a girl and asking her, "Hey, how's it going?" is a good opener? I know it's simple and that's why I'm wondering if it's an okay opener or if I should use something more complex.
Do you guys think this is a good opener to approach random girls with?
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Viper
Banned
So you're saying that if I saw a hot girl in the hallway and I wanted to approach her, this wouldn't work? Hmm, in that case, what would be a good opener for this situation(Remember, I don't know the girl yet, that's why I'm approaching her, to get to know her)?lauke said:
That "hey how ya doing" opener is to be used after you know her. If you don't know her, try something more ****y and circumstantial. Use the surroundings, and make sure you are relaxed and laid back.
The first few seconds of your approach are important. A "Hey, how ya doing" is something that her friends probably say a lot, so you'll become a "friend" and I'm assuming you don't want that.
But I'll bet nobody had any balls to call her "pretty." Supposing you're one of the first students to enter your class and you begin to look at the posters/pictures/whatever on the wall. The girl walks in, all you have to do is turn around and say:
"(First Name) (Last Name), has anyone told you that you're pretty?"
She'll be flattered, and before she says something, say "But you'll look prettier if you let your hair down.."
Of course this is purely circumstantial: she needs to have her hair rolled up and you need to be one of the first in your class. But that's just an example of how to use your surroundings.
If she comes in the next day with her hair down or loosens her hair after you said it, you know that she's been giving some thought to you!
The first few seconds of your approach are important. A "Hey, how ya doing" is something that her friends probably say a lot, so you'll become a "friend" and I'm assuming you don't want that.
But I'll bet nobody had any balls to call her "pretty." Supposing you're one of the first students to enter your class and you begin to look at the posters/pictures/whatever on the wall. The girl walks in, all you have to do is turn around and say:
"(First Name) (Last Name), has anyone told you that you're pretty?"
She'll be flattered, and before she says something, say "But you'll look prettier if you let your hair down.."
Of course this is purely circumstantial: she needs to have her hair rolled up and you need to be one of the first in your class. But that's just an example of how to use your surroundings.
If she comes in the next day with her hair down or loosens her hair after you said it, you know that she's been giving some thought to you!
Distant Light
Master Don Juan
The hey how's it going is rapport seeking don't bother.
Your best Openers are following in follow order (My opinion)
1. Situational Opener (Something on the spot and based on the scenario)
2. Opinion Openers
3. Shocker Openers (Read more about Bradp who is founder of this opener been using this lately)
4. Canned Material
I'm actually starting to like Shocker openers more than everything since now I know how to set them up properly.
Your best Openers are following in follow order (My opinion)
1. Situational Opener (Something on the spot and based on the scenario)
2. Opinion Openers
3. Shocker Openers (Read more about Bradp who is founder of this opener been using this lately)
4. Canned Material
I'm actually starting to like Shocker openers more than everything since now I know how to set them up properly.
[]D [] []V[] []D
Senior Don Juan
you: "hey whatsup"
girl: "do i know you?"
*instant tension (the bad kind)
"Hey are you from around here" (or some other situational one)
"yeah... im from blah blah blah"
girl: "do i know you?"
*instant tension (the bad kind)
"Hey are you from around here" (or some other situational one)
"yeah... im from blah blah blah"
Viper
Banned
Thing is, I'm not good with being naturally ****y, and I'm bad with situational things, so I think I'll pass on the situational openers.lauke said:
Situational openers seem like to much to handle for me, but I'm interested in learning about the other 3. Got any links with information on them?
shydude
Master Don Juan
I think any opener is good! Becouse she will answer to it without even thinking about what u even said !! All that matters is how u carry on the conversation!! thats what i think!! Good luck
A good 1 for the street is : "Im doing a social experiment to help me get over the fear of approaching girls I find attractive. Thank you for participating" Have eye contact and a genuine smile... than walk off
When ive done this, theyve called after me
When ive done this, theyve called after me
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Youre pathetic dude. If you cant do situational openers (observing something going on) you should probably work on that. Since you have NO other way of opening, youre gonna have to just say hows it going. I know youve heard this plenty of times, its not what you say, but how you say it. YOURE gonna screw up until you get comfortable with approaching. No matter if you used canned openers, situational or anything of the sort. Youre gonna be nervous so youll mess up. So dont worry about pulling a number, if i were you id focus on not shaking and trembling when talking to her.
Most girls arent that self absorbed unless youre a complete nerd. Most girls will be friendly and at least humor you with a conversation unless they arent interested at all.
Viper
Banned
I'm not really nervous about approaching the girl at all, I just need to work on opening and building attraction with women, but no, I'm not nervous, I just don't know what to do. And no, situational openers just aren't for me, I'm not the kind of guy who can just check a girl out, observe her, and then come up with a situation. But yes, like I said above, I don't shake or tremble or anything when I approach girls, and I can talk to them no problem, talking to them isn't the problem, it's building interest. Here's an example of what I mean, from a conversation that I had with a girl at lunch last week:oakraiderz2 said:
Also, I'm kind of hesisant to approach girls, because their are a lot of b*tchy, rude girls in this school, that will give you sh*t if you approach them.
Viper
Banned
Thing is, girls apparently don't see that their being b!tchy, turns away guys that they could possibly have a chance with. However, some girls are just straight up rude and b*tchy, not just to keep away weak guys, but that's just how they are.Muphaser said:
Alfie Crew
Don Juan
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Why would you want to date a *****y rude girl? You don't want to even be friends with a *****y rude girl. So if a *****y rude girl is cold...nice you just saved time. Her loss.Viper said:
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
I guarantee you its not as bad as youre making it, its just an excuse for you not to approach. I dont believe you that youre not afraid to approach...because of these to quotes you said...Viper said:
Be honest with yourself, if you cant approach admit it, or else youre not gonna progress. Theres not way you arent afraid to approach when you dont know what to say, are afraid of rejection, are afraid of girls being b*tchy to you and you dont know how to build attraction due to your lack of experience.
Yes, saying hey hows it going is fine to open a convo. Afterwards do the whole name thing and start find out what she likes to do. If you usually dont know what to ask think about stuff you like to do and find out if shes interested in the samething. Ask what she does in her free time, what kind of music she likes and if she plays any sports since you can actually have something to talk about. If shes a ***** to you tell her "this aint the oc" and walk away laughing. Ive told you this before, dont be so concerned about building attraction just yet. Once you get some approaches under your belt and stop complaing about the same sh*t youve been complaining about for the past year, id be MORE than happy to help you out. But you seriously need to quit this sh*t out. Do something, anything, because its better than nothing.
Viper
Banned
I guess you're right, I am somewhat afraid to approach, but it's not because I'm nervous or anything, it's just that I'm afraid that if I approach a girl, it just won't get anywhere, and that's mostly been true with most of my approaches. Most of the time, I don't even get far enough into the conversation to even ask a girl anything that she could reject me for. And about the whole conversation thing, you're saying I should just go up to a random girl that I don't know and ask her those questions? I don't know, it might seem a little weird. Besides, even when I know that me and the girl have something in common, it's hard to find something to talk about.oakraiderz2 said:
Viper
Banned
I guess you're right, I am somewhat afraid to approach, but it's not because I'm nervous or anything, it's just that I'm afraid that if I approach a girl, it just won't get anywhere, and that's mostly been true with most of my approaches. Most of the time, I don't even get far enough into the conversation to even ask a girl anything that she could reject me for. And about the whole conversation thing, you're saying I should just go up to a random girl that I don't know and ask her those questions? I don't know, it might seem a little weird. Besides, even when the girl DOES give me something to talk about, it seems more like an investigation, than a conversation.oakraiderz2 said:
penkitten
Master Don Juan
you remind me of joey on friends saying that.
it always worked for him.
can you say "how you doin' " just like him?
it always worked for him.
can you say "how you doin' " just like him?
Viper
Banned
What's the difference?penkitten said: