Do You Guys Enjoy LTRs?

[MrWood]

I do prefer a LTR.

I just broke up with a woman who just turned 32 (Russian) after 2yr LTR
Refuse anyone under 40.
(I am American but live in Finland... sorry for 'yall in the US where most chicks under 40 would likely refuse any advance from a 50yo [and look like they been on meth for 30])

 

[Reyaj]

I personally don't think that virginity is necessary to have the girl latch onto you. She has to be low-mileage and young, but not necessarily a virgin. However, a virgin should be held in high regard should you actually meet one.

So how many partners makes her high mileage?

Colosus I PMd you back. I will be bumping up that marriage thread a while ago as I think getting to a clear determination of whether or not that is my end game will help my focus immensely.

 

[MrWood]

the older of mine had less than 5, was a young mother and was with the husband for a long time
the younger was also about 5-8, had been single/etc for a year after a prior 6 year relationship

lower the better especially if you are an extra skilled lover...
ruins them

 

[zekko]

Not at all. This is the only forum I know which is primarily about happiness, instead of PUA and bodybuilding. At least the "Mature Man" board is

The Mature Man board is, as you say, more mature. I'm a little surprised that almost every poster in this thread has said they prefer the LTR. Interesting, considering "spin more plates" has been one of the main pieces of advice here along with "hit the gym".

On the general board though, there have been guys like Poon King who have said that an alpha would never commit to a woman because he has so many options. Since that's a younger crowd over there, it's no surprise it's more into the PUA lifestyle.

 

[Desdinova]

So how many partners makes her high mileage?

Over 5 is high mileage, but I generally don't ask women how many men they've slept with. You can usually tell after spending a bit of time with them.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Glad to see the responses here. I don't have the time or need to post here anymore, but since I'm writing a book and creating a coaching program, I decided to check back in. Nearly all of the posts in this thread indicate that you all are quite a bit wiser than the posters in the other forum sections.

I enjoy LTRs. But that comes with a lot of caveats. It has to be with the right person. It has to be with a woman who helps make you a better person. It has to be a woman who is a good COMPANION. You two need to be a TEAM. If she isn't the kind of girl who can give you those things, then she's just a girl you've been f*cking for a long period of time. Not LTR material.

LTRs are work. As a younger guy, I made the mistake of thinking that I could give up and be lazy as soon as I "had her". I'm sure you all know how that ended up. "Let's just be friends." Work on your relationship never ends. You still have to regularly stand your ground. She will try to wear the pants. It's important to keep your dominance and masculinity intact as the relationship moves forward.

Are LTRs better than being single? I'd say it's a toss up. It's personal preference. If you're truly happy with yourself and your life, then you don't need a woman in it. You can add one woman to your life (or many), but that core happiness you have will not be changed.

Cheers,
JB

 

[Die Hard]

I enjoy LTRs. But that comes with a lot of caveats. It has to be with the right person. It has to be with a woman who helps make you a better person. It has to be a woman who is a good COMPANION. You two need to be a TEAM. If she isn't the kind of girl who can give you those things, then she's just a girl you've been f*cking for a long period of time. Not LTR material.

Finally someone's using the word COMPANION(SHIP) in a correct way.

 

[Tictac]

Two of the women I see are out of the USA for long stretches. Me too enough of the year. They let me know when they're going to be in town.

Main woman is a local but more downtown.

It can work well.

As an only woman I can't see that working.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Two of the women I see are out of the USA for long stretches. Me too enough of the year. They let me know when they're going to be in town.

Main woman is a local but more downtown.

It can work well.

As an only woman I can't see that working.

LTR is great when there is trust, good sex, of course no cheating, when they think about you and care. It's going to suck if it's every man for themselves, but that could work for swingers and multidaters and things like that.

 

[Dingo]

So many of you see LTRs as some sort of romantic "be all to end all".... It will be easier to find a unicorn than finding that perfect woman. But we still try...

Trust me though... If you're with anybody long enough you will get sick of them. No matter how lovely dovey the relationship starts after many, many, many years you will resent even the way they breath...

 

[zekko]

And sometimes a girl who has dated/been fvcked around by a couple other dudes will appreciate you that much more.

Nice to see someone thinking for themselves rather than simply parroting PUA Bro Theory, which would probably have the girl pining after the guys who fvcked them over for the rest of their lives.

 

[vorbis]

I think I can relate a bit to what you mention samspade

i'm now married and do get on fine with my wife.
You're not talking about LTRs that are constant struggles but ones where they go smoothly for the most part and there's no major issues.

It's tough in this scenario to know if you should be settling down with this woman.
Things go good but you don't have the absolute certainty about it that other people seem to have in their relationships.
There's always the nagging concern that maybe there's someone else out there that is the "one" who you'd feel a much stronger connection to and be in no doubt about.

In my case, what helps me is that for better or worse, I don't feel those types of absolute certainty emotions in general. Maybe due to upbringing but I'm a low emotional person.

It's a personal decision to make as to whether you think you'll make a bigger connection with someone else?

 

[samspade]

Thanks for the responses. I don't mean to mislead...this is not a question of "is she right for me?" I can figure that much out. It's more about LTRs generally, and in the best of times. Of course a bad LTR is one that should end. But in good ones, I still find drudgery and heaviness. Maybe I just enjoy solitude too much. I like the companionship when it's fun or even when there's a challenge. I hate the expectations, the repetition, the questions. For instance, if I want to hop on a plane to France tomorrow, I don't want to have to explain it. I don't care how good your "frame" is, try doing that. Does that make sense?

 

[Colossus]

Life will always be EASIER single, but not necessarily better. There are times I miss the single life. Not so much getting girls, but just not having to consider another person 24/7. My house was always clean, my bathroom always available, and I could just sit and not be talked to or bothered for hours if I wanted.

The thing is, once you get to a certain point with a girl there is no turning back. Comings and goings are subject to discussion. Feelings have to be tended. Time has to be sacrificed. Just the way it is.

Even with the BEST of women, there is repetition, boredom, and obligatory considerations to keep the peace. Anyone who says otherwise is either too young or never had a relationship last long enough. On the whole I feel life is better with the right woman, but there are trade-offs.

 

[user43770]

Nice to see someone thinking for themselves rather than simply parroting PUA Bro Theory, which would probably have the girl pining after the guys who fvcked them over for the rest of their lives.

Most of the girls I've been with were carrying emotional baggage from previous BFs. One of the girls I'm seeing now is a 29 y/o serial monogamist, and she certainly seems to have lost some of her ability to pair bond.

On the other hand, the second girl I'm seeing has relatively little relationship experience and she gets so excited over the smallest things. It's refreshing to meet girls like that. There aren't many left after college years.

 

[user43770]

But I'm with you, Samspade. Relationships always end up making me feel trapped. I don't think this feeling will change unless I settle down and have a family. Not that I'm looking for that to happen; just an observation.

 

[zekko]

Of course a bad LTR is one that should end. But in good ones, I still find drudgery and heaviness. Maybe I just enjoy solitude too much.

I probably have a larger need for solitude than most fellows, but I've always found time for myself, no matter what LTR I've been in. I've always thought that the main disadvantage to being in an exclusive LTR was that you had to give up variety (of women). But apparently a lot of guys just want to spend more time alone.

 

[Reyaj]

Over 5 is high mileage, but I generally don't ask women how many men they've slept with. You can usually tell after spending a bit of time with them.

Damn Des... that's kind of a very low number in my opinion considering sex seems to be a normal occurrence even for teenagers these days... You are in your 30s like me.. what do you think the odds are that you are going to find girls with less than 5 partners in the normal sarging venues people our age tend to inhabit?

I think you'd have to start seeking out Churches or something like seriously I am just very surprised to hear that number.

I agree. And sometimes a girl who has dated/been fvcked around by a couple other dudes will appreciate you that much more.

A virgin will always grow up to think about what she's been missing, aka grass is greener syndrome. But you have to get them when they're young, older women are set in their ways and it's much easier for them to detach from the men in their lives since they're so used to attaching and then detaching as they've pretty much been pump and dumped their whole lives.

There's pros and cons to both LTR's and being a single don juan. I generally prefer an LTR, like the one I'm in right now, but you have to be careful and screen properly. The last thing you want to do is end up developing feelings for a crazy sl0re.

I actually more concur with this line of thinking.

 

[Desdinova]

I am just very surprised to hear that number.

Anything over that by the time a woman becomes an adult, and she's already a slvt. If she's having trouble finding guys she wants to fvck or she was in an on & off again LTR with an AFC, her core values are going to be intact. Once that first guy comes along who really rocks her emotionally, she's either going to stick to him or become forever damaged goods.

My best dating experiences have come from young women with very low counts. THIS is where you should be searching for women for long-lasting LTRs. The most successful LTRs I've seen began when the woman was very young.

You cannot tame a wild animal.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yes, several at a time is fantastic.