DJ Test - The newbie

[es_mer8]

This happened with a friend of mine at work who frankly needs to get laid badly. Anyway, the story goes like this:

There is a girl that just starting working. The two hit it off and talked for hours. I taught him C+F and it worked well (I was nearby and thought since he talked to her first, I wouldn't do anything of my own) That was the first day. Then I taught him the art of being busy and basically aloof. So he says nothing for a week. Then one day she goes up to him and says "Whats the deal?" and he said "What?" She said "I'm just wondering why you never talk to me?" He just said he was busy and asked why she was wondering. She said "It just bothers me that some people don't like me." He walks off. He is telling me this along the way. Later that night, his friend (not me) makes a lot of sexual references to the guy and this girl to have sex after. She said she was a virgin which IMO is probably BS.

After that, she never talks to the guy. In fact, she talks to everyone around except him. He says he did the same thing to her a week ago. He asked me for my help. He said he is worried about it and said the last time he asked a girl out, he said it was "horrible rejection." I had no idea. I also asked her mom about her and the guy and she said that she did like him. Whether or not that means as friends or as a crush is beyond me because I never bothered to ask what kind of liking. So I'm asking the advice on people here. Please, leave the jerk comments like "What a weak ass ***** *****" behind. I think she feels one of two things for him:

1) She truly does not like him
2) She is playing the same games he did to her and she is actually very interested.

This could also be a test for DJs to solve like those one threads a few weeks back. Do not ignore this thread. Thanks in advance.

 

[es_mer8]

Bump

 

[DJ Girevik]

Why are you bumping this? You posted it less than an hour ago! Patience young grasshopper.

Sounds like his DJ tactics might have failed and made him seem like an asshole/weirdo. The first "art" any budding DJ needs to learn is the "art" of CONFIDENCE. Genuine confidence.

 

[es_mer8]

I would normally have patience but I go to work in 3 hours and I told him I'd come up with my advice tonight. I told him that he has to start thinking for himself about this **** but this time, I'll help him out. I think its Option #2 personally. She probably found out via the pipeline that the guy likes her and she figured out that the aloofness was just a game. So she has one of her own and its up to the guy to talk to her. But I'm not 100% so thats why I'm asking the question on this board.

 

[Mr.Fortesque]

be man

He just have to ask her out like man and then we will see if it was 1, or 2,.

 

[xblitz44x]

"2) She is playing the same games he did to her and she is actually very interested." -es_mer8

Hey man, what's up? You and I have butted heads in other threads, but this one backs me up big time. I'm not trying to compete with you, but just try to show you something. This guy is fvcked. This is EXACTLY the ONLY thing that games do. She caught onto his games, and now she's playing. He just set up a competitive dynamic. Now, instead of trying to do things TOGETHER like a relationship is supposed to be - they are going to be doing things TO each other to see who's winning and losing. Now, anytime somebody wants to enjoy the other's company, or be honest they have to view it as "losing a battle".

She liked him to begin with. These games weren't necessary. They didn't do anything to the attraction. When he ignored her and she showed it bothered her it wasn't INCREASING any attraction...it was just causing her to use the desperate measure of showing frustration to show she cares about him. I'm willing to bet if he was real and honest with her, there would have been a much greater outcome. Instead you're stuck in a competitive dynamic.

Tell him what i said. Now he has to dig himself out and put a stop to this dynamic. I'd tell her that I really want to stop playing games, and that i'd like to take her out to get to know her better. He HAS to open up to her first if he expects her to follow. And trust me she WILL follow. She's already proven that.

-Blitz

 

[es_mer8]

Hmm, some tight advice xblitz44x. The outcome:

It was lunch and I asked her when she was going on lunch. So I made sure we all (me, the friend, and the girl) met at the same time. I told him I'd play like a wingman but I wouldn't get the ugly friend. He goes to her and sheepishly says "Hi" and she seems eager to respond with a "Hi" back. I told him before instead of doing C+F, just try to be yourself with confidence. I initiated the conversation with her by talking about **** at work and I made comments so he could join the conversation. It even came to the point where she took a banana cream pie and threw it at me. I threw back. He took a piece and threw it at her. She laughs and starts to throw at him. We are having fun and **** and basically it loosened him up. I told them I had to clean myself up (I got some of the cream filling on my arm) and hopefully some conversation will take place.

I came back and they were talking. He didn't number close but I thought it was cool. Later that night I asked if she liked him and she said "Yeah but I was just wondering what his deal was when he tried to avoid me." Shocking, the aloofness theory was absolute ****. I asked her if he asked her out, would she go with him and she said "Yeah, why not?" I told him and he said the best method for him was to ask her out the next time. The two after made some comments to eachother as they passed by. Not sure if he is in the LJBF zone but to be honest, I don't think it will matter that much.

I realized more and more tonight while working that DJing is more and more of a sham. Instead of cold calculations and piss poor conversations, people should be more "natural" but of couse have some of the basic DJ concepts down like confidence and not afraid to show masculinity.

 

[xblitz44x]

That's an awesome story, you did the right thing by winging that way. I have an AFC friend who is the same way. He's really nervous about getting rejected but he's dying to meet a chick he's into. You'd think the desperation would be enough to fuel him to take a chance but nope. So a lot of times I have to basically push him down the run way so that he has enough speed to take off. It sounds to me like she likes him, and that he just has to have the confidence to make the move. Even if he doesn't have confidence, she doesn't know that. She PERCEIVES him to have confidence. He just has to come through and take things to the next level. Good post man.