Discomfort Zone

[Dublinsfinest]

It seems like this could go on forever. I'm sure the goal is eventually to feel comfortable doing these things that feel uncomfortable right now.

How long will that take is a very good question.

How much are you pushing youself, within reason? Enough? I can't judge b/c I've never done it.

What are your specific long term goals after this?

Taking it day by day is the right way. But life is very short. We live for about 27000 days on average! The first 10 years don't count and the last 10 dont either and we sleep for 1/3rd of that time. It leaves very little time to achieve our goals. We don't have an endless amount of time and it's better to do things the right way, the best way and the fastest way.

Is this that way? It's a great start to build a strong character and that's for sure. I'm sure Mr. Style will know when it's time to move on and achieve his other goals.

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by Dublinsfinest
How much are you pushing youself, within reason? Enough? I can't judge b/c I've never done it.

What are your specific long term goals after this?

I have never in my entire life either pushed myself or been pushed by others.

Therefore, my first and probably most important goal is to become the guy who pushes himself hard and likes it.

Once I've accomplished that, every door will open and the world will become my oyster, and because of who I've become, I will be compelled to take advantage of it ... in theory.

Except I don't know how to do it ... everything I've read on this site seems to take for granted the desire and fortitude that such change requires.

Unfortunately, I'm the guy who hates pain (physical, mental, emotional ... it doesn't matter) and will do anything to avoid it.

I'm also the guy who's deathly afraid of life, the world, and everything in them.

 

[Mr.Style]

Originally posted by Visceral

Except I don't know how to do it ... everything I've read on this site seems to take for granted the desire and fortitude that such change requires.

I agree with you on this. This is one of the reasons I started this thread. If you read the first post I made on this thread you'll see how I pointed out that people talk about confidence as if it can be turned on and off like a lightswitch. Some people on this forum think it is all about telling yourself that you are confident. Some people on this forum have even gone so far as recommending we pretend we are someone else. I read a thread on this site which recommended we act like the character Tyler from Fight Club. Now I don't mean to disrespect people who believe this sort of thing, I mean if it works for you then great, but for me, that is not a real solution. In my opinion, confidence isn't something you turn on and off like a lightswitch, rather it is something you attain after overcoming many obstacles. It is not about changing your personality, it is about strengthening your own. It is not about telling yourself you're confident, it's about KNOWING you are confident. Visceral, allow me to give you a quote which had a great effect on me. It is by William Jennings Bryan:

"The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear most and get a record of successful experiences behind you. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

This quote sums up what I hope to gain from this thread. I have noticed improvements in myself day by day. I feel I can achieve so much more too.

Originally posted by Dublinsfinest
Is this that way? It's a great start to build a strong character and that's for sure. I'm sure Mr. Style will know when it's time to move on and achieve his other goals.

Ultimately I hope to go back to my approach journal thread and try that again. Sadly, the only real success occurred when I had alot of drinks on me. I don't want to rely on drink for dutch courage. That is just me fooling myself. I want to be confident enough to approach while completely sober and not give a damn if I'm rejected. My character needs to improve first I feel. What I hope to gain from this is:

strong character = strong confidence = success & happiness

Will it work out? Dont know but I'm gonna try anyway. I haven't given this Discomfort Zone thing my best anyway. The original idea was to deprive myself of TV, internet, computer games, the whole lot. I have failed to do this. Over the next few days I will deprive myself of these things. (except the net when I'm on Sosuave ) I have laid out some goals for myself over the next few weeks which are the following:

- Get a job
- Take up swimming in the mornings to get myself back in shape
- Read more and watch TV less
- Work on conversational skills on day-by-day basis
- Get out and have fun alot more often!

Now that college is finished I have alot of time on my hands so I hope I use it wisely.

 

[Mr.Style]

Damn...

Well my efforts to leave my comfort zone have not gone too well over the last few days. Since I've left college I've just become very lazy around my house. Today I was supposed to go looking for a job but yesterday I went drinking with my friend instead and I woke up today with a hangover. Because of that I decided to take the easy option and stay in bed. Worst of all though, I suddenly got very anxious at the thought of handing in CVs to a few places in town. What is wrong with me? I definitely need a job yet I'm uneasy about going out and getting one. Hopefully I'll get over this. My goals for tomorrow:

- Hand in CVs to a few places
- Try and strike up some conversations while I'm out

Today was a bad day for me but things can only get better from now on...