Can't figure her out

[Brian N]

I've been trying to hook up with this woman for a while now.been

taking my time, cause she seems to have been hurt by someone a long

time ago.She seems to prefer texting and will often texts 10-15 times

a day when she isnt working. I let her text me first so as not to show

that I'm interested in her romantically, or at least don't have any

other women that I want as much as her. If I don't reply for a few

days, her texts become more frequent and they have a sense of urgency to them.
I want to take it slow with her, but I want to see progress too.

Now here's where the problem comes in. There are times when I will reply to her texts and say something that would/should move us deeper into the relationship, and she will just stop talking, texting or emailing. I might not hear from her for a week sometimes two, but so far she always seems to comeback. Yesterday I asked if I could call her because it was to difficult to try and text back and forth while at work, but I had time to talk to her on the phone. Well that was the trigger as far as yesterday. She has'nt replied to my requests or sent any emails or texts since then. I know that this is pretty messed up and you are probably thinking "why bother", but I think she is worth the wait if I can her to not do this. Will she come back? I don't know, but what I do know is that I won't chase after her. sent her one message this afternoon hoping she would reply, but if she does'nt I'm not going to keep trying. Just wondering if you guys have had similar situations and how you handled it

 

[Faded Image]

What's the point of fishing if all you're going to do is throw out a hook and line without bait.

You have to give her at least a subtle hint of romantic interest; otherwise she's going to take it as you not having interest, and she won't stick her head out there in fear of rejection.

 

[Married Buried]

She is using you like a girlfriend. You have got to stop all the texting and get her out. Get her to some coffee or something, and at least try and kiss her ASAP. The longer you wait, the more chance some other guy will be porking her while she texts you.

 

[WoodB]

She's acting like a teenager. Set her straight.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you sure she's a woman?

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I've been trying to hook up with this woman for a while now.been

taking my time, cause she seems to have been hurt by someone a long

time ago.She seems to prefer texting and will often texts 10-15 times

a day when she isnt working. I let her text me first so as not to show

that I'm interested in her romantically, or at least don't have any

other women that I want as much as her. If I don't reply for a few

days, her texts become more frequent and they have a sense of urgency to them.
I want to take it slow with her, but I want to see progress too.

Now here's where the problem comes in. There are times when I will reply to her texts and say something that would/should move us deeper into the relationship, and she will just stop talking, texting or emailing. I might not hear from her for a week sometimes two, but so far she always seems to comeback. Yesterday I asked if I could call her because it was to difficult to try and text back and forth while at work, but I had time to talk to her on the phone. Well that was the trigger as far as yesterday. She has'nt replied to my requests or sent any emails or texts since then. I know that this is pretty messed up and you are probably thinking "why bother", but I think she is worth the wait if I can her to not do this. Will she come back? I don't know, but what I do know is that I won't chase after her. sent her one message this afternoon hoping she would reply, but if she does'nt I'm not going to keep trying. Just wondering if you guys have had similar situations and how you handled it

How much time is a while?

To be honest it sounds like you are in the friend zone. She could even be dating other people right now. She texts you to get an attention fix and then when you try to get more intimate she disappears. She is being selfish and keeping you as an orbiter. NEXT.

 

[Brian N]

A while in this case is 8 months. it's a little more complicated then I devulged. She lives in another state, 300 miles away. Dating another? Propably, but so am I. Yes, I'm sure she's a woman, bilble- belt. I know she has difficulty with intimacy and does'nt keep boyfriends for any length of time. I am drawn to her because shared the same illness. (prob. not a good reason to be getting involved, but I can't seem to help myself.) We have both beaten this illness but there is always the chance it can return. it is not cancer,aids, or anything contagious to others, but was life threatening. ( Hope this is not TMI for you guys) Anyway, I have thought about this all day and right now I'm going to wait and see what happens. If she never contacts me anymore, so be it. But I do think she will start up once again. Maybe the best thing for me to do if she re-intializes contact is to just ignore her and get on with my life.
Sorry about all the drama. I just wanted to hear your opinions

 

[Desdinova]

When you're trying to increase attraction with texting, you can't be letting it remain stagnant for days at a time. Maybe a few hours or a day at most, but you have to keep the iron hot.

If she hasn't messaged you in weeks, then she's done.

LDRs are generally useless. You cannot fvck her through texting, you cannot kiss her through texting, and you cannot hold hands through texting. You need to have some level of physical contact to keep her highly attracted to you.

Also, when you're texting, you generally need to make it fun and interesting. Make her look forward to texts from you.

 

[nismo-4]

Ask her the f**k out or just be happy in the friendzone.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

A while in this case is 8 months. it's a little more complicated then I devulged. She lives in another state, 300 miles away. Dating another? Propably, but so am I. Yes, I'm sure she's a woman, bilble- belt. I know she has difficulty with intimacy and does'nt keep boyfriends for any length of time. I am drawn to her because shared the same illness. (prob. not a good reason to be getting involved, but I can't seem to help myself.) We have both beaten this illness but there is always the chance it can return. it is not cancer,aids, or anything contagious to others, but was life threatening. ( Hope this is not TMI for you guys) Anyway, I have thought about this all day and right now I'm going to wait and see what happens. If she never contacts me anymore, so be it. But I do think she will start up once again. Maybe the best thing for me to do if she re-intializes contact is to just ignore her and get on with my life.
Sorry about all the drama. I just wanted to hear your opinions

8 months and you have never met here!!!?? Dude 300 miles away!! Stop wasting time and meet girls that live near you. I don't even bother if it's over 25 miles away.

 

[Brian N]

yeah, I have realized you guys are right. I'm tired of the games. scratching her off the list and moving on.

Thanks

 

[Married Buried]

There is nothing to figure out anymore OP. She is getting porked by someone 300 miles away. You should do the same.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Brian,
300 miles away,haven't you read the threads on here about Long Distance Relationships?.....That's 5 hours away,10 hours return,plus how many tanks of Petrol?....No Brian stop this silly business right now...As you become more adept at the Dating game you will find 20 minutes,most half an hour is the most you should travel...So start spinning Plates.