Caller ID -- Must Be Defeated At All Costs!

[BGC]

Guys,

We got something figure out. I'm gonna pose the problem, then a possible solution, then I request that people offer their thoughts.

Here's my situation.

I had two numbers I had to dial up.

Got them on a Sunday.

Waited eight days -- til the following Monday.

So I called on Monday, around eight p.m.

No one home at either number. Got the answering machines.

What did I do?

I left a message saying exactly this: "Hey ----, it's ---- from -----. Seems I missed you tonight, but I'll try back another time. Bye bye." Click.

Now I left this message on Monday.

Now, BEFORE THE DAYS OF CALLER ID, I would not have had to leave this message.

I could have merely tried back the next day. Or the SAME DAY if I'd called earlier.

I could have called three times in one night if I'd wanted.

But now there's CALLER ID.

This is a serious challenge.

Here's why.

If I call on Monday and don't leave a message, she might have caller ID and so she'll know that I just called. So wouldn't it be better to acknowledge that you called by leaving a brief message?

Well shhit, just as I'm writing this -- funny thing about writing, it can be a process of DISCOVERY -- I'm starting to think that it's better NOT TO LEAVE A MESSAGE. Even if she knows that you called.

But still.

So you call on Monday. You leave a message or you don't.

No matter what, you can't call back on Tuesday!

Because if she knew you called back on Tuesday, that would look very, very weak. and very desperate.

So what I did, is I called back on Thursday.

And once again, I got their machines. Didn't leave a message of course!

So when will I call back again?

I'm divided.

I'm thinking of waiting another full week.

But then I'm also thinking that if I tried twice on Sunday, maybe around three and again around six, I might reach them.

But then still, no matter what, AS THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU CALL GOES UP, HER INTEREST LEVEL WILL GO DOWN! IT HAS TO, because she will know that you're really interested in getting ahold of her.

But then again, you CANNOT LEAVE A MESSAGE TELLING HER TO CALL YOU. Very few women will.

(I'm at a library, and some fukking brawd is reading this as I write over my shoulder, and now she's reading this. Funny, right?)

So what do you do?

Well, here are a few things I can think of.

1. You can ask her when you get her number, what times are good to reach her. Probably a good idea.

2. You shouldn't call under anonymous, 'cause she'll eventually find out it was you and be sketched out.

3. You could possibly use a pay phone. I think AD recommends this. (Is that guy Doc Love by the way?) But then you STILL COULD NOT CALL EVERY DAY LIKE YOU COULD BEFORE CALLER ID BECAUSE SHE'LL SEE THAT SOMEONE WAS CALLING FROM A PAY PHONE EVERY DAY AND THEN WHEN YOU FINALLY DO REACH HER AND THE CALLER ID SAYS PAY PHONE, SHE'LL KNOW IT WAS you WHO WAS CALLING EVERY DAY!!!

4. Or, I think this is the best approach her, and I want to know what everybody thinks: You could get her E-MAIL. And e-mail her!

Is that not genius, guys? (I admit I didn't come up with it. That sisonphy guy recommended it.)

'Cause then you'll be able to get ahold of her immediately, IF SHE'S INTERESTED.

And then the two-calls and that's it approach would still be operating.

E-mail her once. If she doesn't respond, e-mail again maybe three days later.

If no response then, throw her e-mail addy away!

Whatchy'all think?

------------------
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing."

--George Bernard Shaw

[This message has been edited by BGC (edited 02-02-2001).]

 

[swigue]

BGC:

Hmmmm...I think the whole thing is very simple.

1)Call Her

2)Leave a message

3)Don't call her again until she calls you.

Think of it this way: If a hot girl called you and left a message, wouldn't you call her back?
If not, why not?
That's right b/c you weren't interested.

Don't make things too complicated.........

 

[Jdog]

Caller ID has certainly made things interesting in regards to calling a woman. To me, I will usually leave my number in the message which puts the ball in her court. It's kind of weak, but at least you know if she calls you back she is definately interested.

E-mailing her? I don't know about that. Test it. I would call her them on Sunday, most people are around Sunday nights. If you get the messege, leave yopur # this time.

 

[mike darookie]

fellas-
I think caller id is a real problem.
Because even if u wait 5 days, and dont call a girl to knock her back so she will call you.You run into the caller id or cell phone
registering your calls if you miss her.(once
she has finally called you)
Like BGC said email might be the ticket,but to me email is the weakest form of comunicating next to answering machines.
I know i messed up bad with a girl in the past because she has two phone lines and a cell-i would call all of these once -thinking
"i am really only calling once,just tring to find which one shes at"-but to the girl its,"he just called me 3 times what a sap"
I think there is a way around the problem-
we just have to figure it out. Whats the DJ MO to get around this?

 

[DJ de Florida]

1) Yes, I think it is a good idea to ask when is the best times to reach her. You don't lose anything by doing this.

2)I don't know what you mean by calling under anonymous.

3)Try calling from a variety of places. Pay phone, cellular phone, friend's phone, etc.

4) Getting the e-mail address with the home phone number is a good idea. Ask for the home phone number first, then mention you would like her e-mail address in case you don't reach her by phone.

By the way, are you still working at that job?



------------------
DJ de Florida
****
Just Do It!

1) Progress always involves risk: you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.

2) Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.

3) You never really lose until you stop trying.

 

[ChrisFl]

Maybe I'm just lucky recently, but every time I've called a chick & left a message, she's called me back within 24 hours, sounding happy to do so.

But then, I only have one number so far, so I'm only talking about one specific chick, & this I still have to bow down to your vast collection there, BGC. Although I'm planning on drilling this one frequently for a while, since I think I need that. We'll see. Either way, it beats watching C-SPAN.

 

[negotiator]

Guys, you can disable your caller id for any call you want, by dialing *70 before the call. I donnow how much it costs, but it might be worth it to spend a few cents...

this might help the discussion

negotiator

 

[terminator911]

Mine workk with *67. She doesn't have to know it is you who called; plus, if she's really curious, she might call you to ask if you were the one who called.

Forget answering machines, I hate those things. I don't talk to stupid machines, that's my mono.



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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

 

[Stone Gossard]

Disabling caller id only goes so far. What if she's home when you call!! She then knows that you disable it. So next time she sees "private party" on her screen, she'll know it was either you or the telemarketer!

I agree with BGC. It's a real problem. The best way to deal with it is to try to findo ut what times she's often home @. Or use email or IM instead

 

[BigBadJon]

Most of us around here know the pitfalls of internet dating, some more than others(myself). Meeting online is a viable alternative, but often ends in a fruitless waste of time.

That fact stated, with initial contact made IN PERSON, why not get the email address? Get it in addition to the home #.

It has been my experience that unless a chick has no life, she is nearly impossible to get ahold of. And I agree, the caller I.D. poses a big problem. If you call and leave a message chances are she WON'T call back. If you try again too soon, you look needy.

Given that the phone is an obstacle that seems to prevent things from happening, call her FIRST on her home line. DON'T leave a message if noone is home. At this point send her an email. Fukk, at least opening the line of communication and gaining a bit of rapport will get you past the first step, unlike WAITING trying to catch her at home taking a week or more of your time.

I'm going to try that from now on. The phone has been a big obstacle for me, maybe email is the answer.

 

[The Wiz]

I'm fairly sure my telco (Verizon) uses *67 to disable caller ID. I think *70 is to disable call waiting (which fukks up modem connections).

[This message has been edited by The Wiz (edited 02-02-2001).]

 

[Don Juanita]

Some people, LIKE MYSELF, have a block on people who try to press *67 when they try to call me. By haveing the block, if you don't want to give me your number, then you can't get through.

Why not get a grip and only call when you are suppossed to. If the woman is not home, aren't you not suppossed to call for a certain amount of time anyways? So why would you call the next day?

But, if you don't have the patience, try this: CAll from different public places that couldn't be traced to you. and if you get through from one place, don't use it again.

That's what I do....................

Juanita

 

[Peak]

I'd say the best tack is to leave a message telling her who you are, to return your call and your number. That's it.

Why? Cause it takes the pressure off you. There is no need for convoluted arguments as to when you should call next. If she doesn't return your call the first time, she gets the benefit of the doubt albeit with LARGE scepticism on your part. So a week after an unreturned call from a first message you leave the same message, but this time without your number. Just say hi, sound cheery when you do it, and leave it up to her.

If she has no answering machine then you call again in two days. Calling two days after the first attempt of trying to get through to someone is not a sign of desperation, it's resolution. You want to meet. She either meets you, or blows you off (no pun intended).

Who wants to be thinking about what the best strategy to woo this one particular woman? If she truly has caller ID (all mobile phones do) and likes you she will call you! If it's a home number and she doesn't have a message machine or caller ID then she doesn't value her social life and neither should you. Some women are just uncontactable. Oh well, let them remain in their own little world.

If she wasn't so crash hot on you to begin with she probably won't call and will act like nothing happened. If this happens, then so should you.

 

[mrblue1022]

Peak and swigue hit this on right on the head. If you get the machine, leave your name, where you meet her, and your number and let her call you. If you keep trying to call her back hoping to get her you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. I was at Hallmark last weekend getting a get-well card for a female friend who broke her leg skiing (that's another story). I started chatting up the clerk (she is cute, probably a 6 or 7) and we had a good 15-minute convo while she was helping me pick out the card. Yes I played the "Help me I never buy cards and I don't know what to get" pattern. Anyway, I got the digits and called her during the day when I knew she would be working (she is a full time high school English teacher) and left a message with my name and number. She called me that night, and the following morning from her work (I missed her call both times). I finally returned her calls the next day and, after a 5-minute convo closed with a brunch date for Sunday. She showed me she was really interested and a lot of that has to do with the initial contact. From the second I first talked to her I had her hooked, and by using her answering machine, I was able to find out just how high her interest level was.

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Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
-Dalai Lama

 

[Taz]

I agree with leaving a message with your number, and e-mail is also a great idea because there's no chance of missing them. If you're gonna block your calls with *67, you have to make sure you do it EVERY time you call her, and she'll think your name must not be listed.

I dealt with both of these situations yesterday. I was supposed to have a date with this girl, but when I called she wasn't home. I left a message giving her my number, kind of in a way that made her feel guilty. (What's great is that I got to edit my message; the first one sounded like I was reading it. A great advantage of these new messaging services, also the whole room doesn't hear it.) Anyway, she returned my call while I was out for a drive. I tried to call her back, but she was gone again! Damn sorority girls.

I've had one date with another girl, and I think it went well. I know that she has caller ID. I called her yesterday(2 days after the date), somebody picked up and just hung up! I'm thinking someone was on another call and just messed up, or she doesn't want to talk to me for some reason. Knowing she has caller ID, I'm gonna try calling again tommorow.

[This message has been edited by Taz (edited 02-03-2001).]

 

[Don Juanita]

Another thing that I did not mention is that when a man calls me and leaves me a message, I don't call him back. NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED IN HIM I am. I wait for him to call back and I'll take the call.

I only expect that he leaves a message saying that he tried to call me and that he will try again another time. I never call him back. If the guy leaves the number I don't write it down. It's up to him to keep trying if he really likes me.

Only if I've already gone out on a date with him, will I call him back.

But that's only me, I don't know about other women.


Juanita

 

[Robkhb]

Thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You just won't call a guy back? You wait for him to call and call and call until he gets you? You must date some real winners. There are a lot of creative things you can do with caller id. For instance, try going to a florist and borrowing their phone to call the girl. If you get her or even if you don't you can say that you were at the florists buying some flowers for a friend (make up some sweet sounding BS) and you saw all the beautiful flowers there and just couldn't help but be reminded of her. In this case you absolutely do not leave a phone number. You make sure she knows the only reason you called was because you were thinking of her and you wanted her to know it. This will also get you some good play with any ladies working at the florist. There are a lot of other cool ways you can use caller id, just be creative.

 

[ChrisFl]

> when a man calls me and leaves me a message, I don't call him back. NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED IN HIM I am

When I call a woman and leave a message, I don't call her back. I let her return my call. NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED IN HER I am. If she's not capable of making a phone call I'll spend my time with the ones who are. Most phones are two-way, so she needs to take some responsibility to return calls.

So I don't wanna hear any complaints about being alone, if you aren't returning messages.

 

[swigue]

Originally posted by Don Juanita:
Another thing that I did not mention is that when a man calls me and leaves me a message, I don't call him back. NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED IN HIM I am. I wait for him to call back and I'll take the call.

It's up to him to keep trying if he really likes me.
Juanita

Wow. you really know to be immature!
Way to go!
I hope you sit at home on Friday night thinking of all the cool things you could've been doing.

Guys: This seems really clear cut to me. (See my above post)
My number one rule with all women is "My time is valuable. Don't waste my time. Don't play games." Why would you want to waste any time AT ALL w/ a biatch that doesn't call you back? The theory is that a) if she likes you she'll call you back [true for 90% of women]
b) if she doesn't call you back she either doesn't like you or will waste your time playing games given that you do have some kind of relationship.
So my advice is to stop wasting your time. Go after other women, go running, read a book,drink for christsakes! Don't waste more than a minute thinking about a woman who isn't your GF, it's simply not worth it.
My time is my most precious possession (owwwaa

), which explains why I'm sitting here writing this.......

 

[maranathaman]

Originally posted by Don Juanita:
Another thing that I did not mention is that when a man calls me and leaves me a message, I don't call him back. NO MATTER HOW INTERESTED IN HIM I am. I wait for him to call back and I'll take the call.

I only expect that he leaves a message saying that he tried to call me and that he will try again another time. I never call him back. If the guy leaves the number I don't write it down. It's up to him to keep trying if he really likes me.

Only if I've already gone out on a date with him, will I call him back.

But that's only me, I don't know about other women.
Juanita

Why do women do this?
I read on "TheRules" board that they reccomend to the women that they NOT return calls! I had a lady recently do this to me too! She called me, asked me to call the next night, I called, she wasn't home, I left a message, she didn't return my message, I called a week later, again she didn't return my message. What's up with this "tactic"? If this is a women's "Rule" I don't see how it makes a guy want her more, most guys would think it's rude and shows low interest.
~Andy