Bumble Match wants to meetup at the beach this weekend

[I_have_BDE]

So I matched with a lady on Bumble and been talking the past week and she wants to meet up. The only thing is she won't give me her number until we meet first. Is this a red flag for ghosting?

It used to be until about 3 years ago women would be fine to give their number pretty quickly if you asked. Was also easier to get replies and matches too.

I"m also noticing a ton less hot women on OLD across the board in general. Why since 2020 a lot less hot women? Very few.

 

[Solomon]

So I matched with a lady on Bumble and been talking the past week and she wants to meet up. The only thing is she won't give me her number until we meet first. Is this a red flag for ghosting?

It used to be until about 3 years ago women would be fine to give their number pretty quickly if you asked. Was also easier to get replies and matches too.

I"m also noticing a ton less hot women on OLD across the board in general. Why since 2020 a lot less hot women? Very few.

It's a tactic some women are employing now, to unmatch quicker if they aren't feeling you. Personally for me the only women who have requested this have had low interest hence I don't even bother with them, if she won't even give you her number oh well. If you think she is worth it, a Beach date is really not that expensive or high effort I would say go for it

 

[I_have_BDE]

It's a tactic some women are employing now, to unmatch quicker if they aren't feeling you. Personally for me the only women who have requested this have had low interest hence I don't even bother with them, if she won't even give you her number oh well. If you think she is worth it, a Beach dude is really not that expensive or high effort I would say go for it

Except if she wants to eat since there is a restaurant there. I mean not super expensive but would be $70 when you throw your tip in. I've had this before. Lunch or dinner dates and they get the expensive meal instead of the $14 meal for lunch and I foot the bill and no second date. Maybe meet at another beach up the road that doesn't have anywhere to eat?

 

[Solomon]

Except if she wants to eat since there is a restaurant there. I mean not super expensive but would be $70 when you throw your tip in. I've had this before. Lunch or dinner dates and they get the expensive meal instead of the $14 meal for lunch and I foot the bill and no second date. Maybe meet at another beach up the road that doesn't have anywhere to eat?

I thought you were taking a walk, this is where it gets tricky but if you know a cheap place nearby you can pivot there for drinks/food.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

So I matched with a lady on Bumble and been talking the past week and she wants to meet up. The only thing is she won't give me her number until we meet first. Is this a red flag for ghosting?

Bolded, this makes sense to me.

Many women, especially if they have been harassed and stalked are wary of giving any sort of private information including their phone number, or even a private email address, prior to meeting in person, it’s simply not safe in today’s current online dating environment. Again especially if they have had bad experiences doing so in the past (again, being harassed and stalked).

I have had men do a 'reverse phone number search' and/or a 'reverse email search' and discover where I lived, where I worked and show up uninvited to my workplace, embarrassing me and causing a scene. Or simply bombarding me with text messages ad nauseum, it can get crazy sometimes and quite annoying!

I am sure YOU are not like that, but there are men who are, so she is being prudent by waiting till she meets you in person. In the meantime, why not just chat on Bumble or whatever app you met on?

Better yet, why not simply schedule a quick meet over coffee? Or the beach as she suggested? Determine what she’s like, the chemistry and the attraction in person?

I dunno, I hate online and this is one reason why. Too much over-analyzing and overthinking. I do have one dating app that I use occasionally, but prefer meeting spontaneously in real life.

All that said, you are correct also that if after chatting with you a bit, she realizes she doesn't want to meet you, it's easier to simply unmatch on the app like @Solomon just posted.

So can you! So I would suggest you wait until you have met in person as well. Harassment etc. can go both ways!

 

[BaronOfHair]

She's beautiful AND wants to meet at the beach, where she'll likely be in a bikini. Pounce on the opportunity, and(as JD has already stated) don't overthink this too much. If, God forbid, she doesn't show, you've still got a warm, relaxing day on the shore ahead of you

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not a red flag. Green flag. She wants to meet at the beach. Make the date. You can get her number in person. No need to make things this complicated.

The phone is for setting dates. She’s setting the date here. Thus, you can skip the cat and mouse BS on the phone.

I"m also noticing a ton less hot women on OLD across the board in general. Why since 2020 a lot less hot women? Very few.

Since COVID-19 they all got fat.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Don't do it

 

[I_have_BDE]

Bolded, this makes sense to me.

Many women, especially if they have been harassed and stalked are wary of giving any sort of private information including their phone number, or even a private email address, prior to meeting in person, it’s simply not safe in today’s current online dating environment. Again especially if they have had bad experiences doing so in the past (again, being harassed and stalked).

I have had men do a 'reverse phone number search' and/or a 'reverse email search' and discover where I lived, where I worked and show up uninvited to my workplace, embarrassing me and causing a scene. Or simply bombarding me with text messages ad nauseum, it can get crazy sometimes and quite annoying!

I am sure YOU are not like that, but there are men who are, so she is being prudent by waiting till she meets you in person. In the meantime, why not just chat on Bumble or whatever app you met on?

Better yet, why not simply schedule a quick meet over coffee? Or the beach as she suggested? Determine what she’s like, the chemistry and the attraction in person?

I dunno, I hate online and this is one reason why. Too much over-analyzing and overthinking. I do have one dating app that I use occasionally, but prefer meeting spontaneously in real life.

All that said, you are correct also that if after chatting with you a bit, she realizes she doesn't want to meet you, it's easier to simply unmatch on the app like @Solomon just posted.

So can you! So I would suggest you wait until you have met in person as well. Harassment etc. can go both ways!

Not for that reason but I've done the reverse search so I could find their full name and look them up on facebook and see REAL pics. Many times I've seen them using old pics when they didn't weigh as much on OLD and go on facebook and see their current pics and they're fat or not as hot as they looked on their OLD profiles. Saved me countless times from wasting time and money.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

@I_have_BDE

What you wrote makes sense however not sure why you wasted money, meet for 10 minutes at a coffee cafe, if you don't like what you see, excuse yourself.

It's 10 minutes, you don't even need to buy her coffee.

But okay....

 

[Tilex]

If I don't get a phone number or email, that's an immediate red flag.
The flake rate for that is at least 94%
I'm a numbers guy and I love to gamble, but that is total nonsense to me. I wouldn't even bother with this person. I play to win, not gamble on "what if" scenarios.

Bolded, this makes sense to me.

Many women, especially if they have been harassed and stalked are wary of giving any sort of private information including their phone number, or even a private email address, prior to meeting in person, it’s simply not safe in today’s current online dating environment. Again especially if they have had bad experiences doing so in the past (again, being harassed and stalked).

I have had men do a 'reverse phone number search' and/or a 'reverse email search' and discover where I lived, where I worked and show up uninvited to my workplace, embarrassing me and causing a scene. Or simply bombarding me with text messages ad nauseum, it can get crazy sometimes and quite annoying!

If women have had bad experiences with online dating, then why even bother at all?
You're just repeating the same mistakes over & over again.
I see this as damaged goods + using you for attention.
2 red flags off the get go.

This is real talk. If you can't see this nonsensical game playing from a distance, then you're really setting yourself up for failure.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

If I don't get a phone number or email, that's an immediate red flag.
The flake rate is at 94%
I'm a numbers guy and I love to gamble, but that is total nonsense to me. I wouldn't even bother with this person.




If women have had bad experiences with online dating, then why even bother at all?
You're just repeating the same mistakes over & over again.
I see this as damaged goods + using you for attention.
2 red flags off the get go.

This is real talk. If you can't see this nonsense game playing from a distance, then you're setting yourself up for failure.

Fair point. Personally, I'm not sure why anyone bothers with it (female or male), it's all a shyt show as far as I'm concerned.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If I don't get a phone number or email, that's an immediate red flag.
The flake rate for that is at least 94%
I'm a numbers guy and I love to gamble, but that is total nonsense to me. I wouldn't even bother with this person. I play to win, not gamble on "what if" scenarios.

How is it a red flag if it was her idea? Phone number is not required. The phone number is to set the date. I set up probably 200 first dates without giving a girl my number first.

I don’t know why you guys are conditioned to think phone numbers are more important than getting an actual date.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If you don’t want to go, give me the details and I’ll go

 

[Bingo-Player]

I"m also noticing a ton less hot women on OLD across the board in general. Why since 2020 a lot less hot women? Very few.

OLD is out of fashion and the novelty has worn off , it's not cool to be on swipe apps anymore and most people have realised its usually where the lowest quality dating options hang out

If I am a chick thats an 7+ why do I need to be on a dating app ? I'll be getting male interaction from men in my social circles , in bars , in clubs , in the gym , cold approach , instagram I have plenty of options I can choose from them

Theres absolutely no need for these types of girls to be on dating apps in 2024

They are also a magnet for 30 and 40 something men who have low confidence and poor social circles again not criteria an attractive woman wants

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Since it should be more about you and not her, I would be more worried about your safety, generally speaking.

Mainly because some shady ho's have tendencies to set guys up to get robbed, or worse.

I recall watching a First 48 episode where a guy met a girl online and they set up a meeting at her apt complex.

The guy gets there and enters the complex, only to be ambushed by some guys and was killed during a botched robbery.

Another episode where some guys and his friend were at a beach (yes, a beach) and met a chick along the coastline.

She invited them to her hotel and once they get there and the door is closed, they were taken by surprise when some guys came out of the bathroom and robbed them and one of them was killed.

I said all that to say this...be careful.

As long as you meet her at a PUBLIC place where there are a lot of people, cool.

And make sure that initially, places where you meet a stranger is at a place of your choice, not hers.

Besides that, have fun.

 

[I_have_BDE]

.

Since it should be more about you and not her, I would be more worried about your safety, generally speaking.

Mainly because some shady ho's have tendencies to set guys up to get robbed, or worse.

I recall watching a First 48 episode where a guy met a girl online and they set up a meeting at her apt complex.

The guy gets there and enters the complex, only to be ambushed by some guys and was killed during a botched robbery.

Another episode where some guys and his friend were at a beach (yes, a beach) and met a chick along the coastline.

She invited them to her hotel and once they get there and the door is closed, they were taken by surprise when some guys came out of the bathroom and robbed them and one of them was killed.

I said all that to say this...be careful.

As long as you meet her at a PUBLIC place where there are a lot of people, cool.

And make sure that initially, places where you meet a stranger is at a place of your choice, not hers.

Besides that, have fun.

That has happened a lot here in Florida. I wonder if that's one of the local cases. Sounds familiar. I also pack heat as well. Many on here say not to conceal carry on the first few dates until they know your political stances and such since a lot of women are libs and hate guns.

 

[I_have_BDE]

OLD is out of fashion and the novelty has worn off , it's not cool to be on swipe apps anymore and most people have realised its usually where the lowest quality dating options hang out

If I am a chick thats an 7+ why do I need to be on a dating app ? I'll be getting male interaction from men in my social circles , in bars , in clubs , in the gym , cold approach , instagram I have plenty of options I can choose from them

Theres absolutely no need for these types of girls to be on dating apps in 2024

They are also a magnet for 30 and 40 something men who have low confidence and poor social circles again not criteria an attractive woman wants

There are some on OLD still. swipe apps they use just to promote their instagram or are board. Sites like Match that usually have the better looking women they end up being damaged goods are bat sh*T crazy, hence hot looking and on OLD

I had at the time an HB9 who drove over 50 miles to meet me for a date. SHe was crazy. Said in her town she couldn't date because word of mouth would get around. Wealthy town, I lived there in the past. She was full of sh*t. More like everyone knows she's nuts.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

.

Since it should be more about you and not her, I would be more worried about your safety, generally speaking.

Mainly because some shady ho's have tendencies to set guys up to get robbed, or worse.

I recall watching a First 48 episode where a guy met a girl online and they set up a meeting at her apt complex.

The guy gets there and enters the complex, only to be ambushed by some guys and was killed during a botched robbery.

Another episode where some guys and his friend were at a beach (yes, a beach) and met a chick along the coastline.

She invited them to her hotel and once they get there and the door is closed, they were taken by surprise when some guys came out of the bathroom and robbed them and one of them was killed.

I said all that to say this...be careful.

As long as you meet her at a PUBLIC place where there are a lot of people, cool.

And make sure that initially, places where you meet a stranger is at a place of your choice, not hers.

Besides that, have fun.

Exactly^^. Like I said it goes both ways.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

That has happened a lot here in Florida. I wonder if that's one of the local cases. Sounds familiar. I also pack heat as well.

Lol aye bro..what's funny is..

I'm a fan of the 90's rap group Poison Clan (with JT Money), and they hail from Florida.

In the song "Living in the City", JT Money is talking about a guy who went to the wrong neighborhood while trying to meet a female, and he insinuated that the female may have set the guy up..

He wraps up the verse by saying..

"So I look out for self
If I wanna see a biitch, I'll see her somewhere else
'Cause hoes be settin' niggas up
And at the same time, gettin' niggas touched
But so a biitch can't get me
I'm always packin' that thing with me"

Pretty much, he shares your sentiments..out there is FLO-RIDA lol.