SunnyD said:
Well, over a month of not talking to him (and actually slowly forgetting about it all) I finally got the "I really do miss you. I know you're still mad and I'm sorry. I wish I never did that to you, you deserve better."
What do I say to THAT??????
If this is an active call (you picked up the phone????
NONONO DON"T DO IT!) but
if you did...
You say: "You're right, I do deserve better. I harbor no ill will against you, truly, but I think it's best if we keep our relationship as something in the past. I wish you only the best in
YOUR future. Take care of yourself. Bye."
Then hang up fast - before he says anything else and UNPLUG your phone before he hits redial.
If it's a message DO NOT CALL HIM BACK. He is wanting to go for another round of the same dance you guys just finished - and it will end the same way, unfortunately. Don't even open the invitation, Sunny. Hit the delete button. Exercise some self-discipline and delete the message.
He will use a cry out for "closure" as a way to manipulate you back. It is sad to think you cared for someone who you can't trust the motives of - but you must be honest with yourself about what you know to be true about the man. He is
NOT capable of genuinely loving you. He told you this to your face verbally - and BLATANTLY with his actions.
BELIEVE HIM!
It is okay to not offer him closure if that is the boundery you need to keep yourself emotionally safe.
Your relationship with him is over. Relationships that have ended leave you NO obligation to return his call.
As women, we are raised to "be nice" and not to hurt anyone's feelings. But you are not a little girl anymore. And a grown woman knows that you can't go through life without sometimes hurting people's feelings. Your first obligation is to be responsible to your
self.
If you feel like you can't imagine
never talking to him again - then just "one day at a time" it. and let those days stack up. You can give him closure in a year - or - two - or three from now. If it's truly that important - it will be later, too.
Right now - he is concerned about
his pain,
his longing for you,
his desire (perhaps even his shame - although I sincerely doubt it)
But realize that this call is still
all about him and
his feelings - you as a dynamic individual to be respected and loved in a genuine, adult, mature, mutually supportive, playful,
honest relationship do not exist to this man. You are still irrelevent and replaceable with any number of women to him.
He is right about one thing though!
You really do deserve better :yes:
:yes: