Book : Get Anyone to do anything and never feel powerless again

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

In this book, it says that human beings have a need to be consistent with who they are. For example, if you see yourself as a kind of person who is caring, gentle and warm hearted ,it is impossible for you to act cruelly towards the people around you because it contradicts your own belief.

Somehow if your actions contradict your beliefs, it will produce a kind of tension called cognitive dissonance. In order to use this brainwashing technique,you have to first reshape a person's self concept. For example, a teacher who says to his student "You know what Jim, I've been seeing you sitting here for the past 2 hours studying. You're such a hardworking student compared to the rest of the students in the class" This reshape the student self concept as he now sees himself as a hardworking person.

And research in human behavior says "People have a need to be consistent because we care a lot about what others think of us. Since the student believed that his teacher has a good impression of him, he is more likely to be consistently hard working in order to prove that his image is true"

So I tested this out on woman that I am about to date.........I told her this the first time I asked her out.

IDJ: You know what mandy, I have an impression that you're a type of person who keeps her promise and I am very impressed about that.

Mandy : Oh thank you.

IDJ : See you on wednesday (hang up)

When it comes to wednesday, she called and broke the date. It reflects low interest level. But I thought people have a need to be consistent so why did she break the date? If people have a need to be consistent about their image, then they will not do something which contradicts their belief, because it will cause cognitive dissonance. This technique is the basis of brainwashing as it has been used to make people to carry out tasks which they originally disagree.

The bottom line is this : If you make a promise but broke it, you will feel bad. So how come it didn't work on the girl that I am about to date. Hmmmm.....

 

[chlywly]

This is the oldest virtue and wisdom in success and true happyness. Mind/Body/Soul come together, you have to be a "whole" individual meaning your bodies have to work as one.

You understand who you are or what you want, you act who you are and what you want and therefor be who you are etc..

It all comes together, unlike some men and women who think one thing say another and do something totaly different.

You do realise that ********, is exactly that a discontinuity in form of self. Women who use ******** simply have not begun to explore who they are, they lack self identity... Would you want to be with such a woman for LTR? Probably not.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Honestly....

...if you were to say it like that, it just comes off as being kinda shady.... it may work selling cars, but to get someone to stay commited to a date, I don't think so... there's a way to re-word it so it doesn't sound like you are trying to hoe the

 

[squirrels]

She didn't MAKE a promise, but she found herself with an obligation. Unfortunately for you, she resolved the consistency the other way...by cancelling the obligation instead of fabricating a promise.

Those of you who think psycho-tricks you learned in your "Behavioral Psychology 200" class are alone enough to get you women, take note. Your "assuming the sale" is good, but no woman's going to fall for that if you don't also create attraction.

 

[simplyme]

And research in human behavior says "People have a need to be consistent because we care a lot about what others think of us. Since the student believed that his teacher has a good impression of him, he is more likely to be consistently hard working in order to prove that his image is true"

This works with people who have
* very low self confidence
AND
* a genuine fear of people talking about them, even in a positive way
AND
* no strong convictions, that go against what you want.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Let us ignore the law of interest level temporary

Suppose if we do not look at other aspects like interest level and etc, then is it possible to somehow to use it on girls to get any dates. Well let us not say the girls who you really like but they are just your so-called "friends".......

I tried a few times and 10% of the time, it works. And 90% of the time, it didnt work. Hmm........

If you were to apply this technique, how would you have done it differently from me?

 

[k_hectic]

Because nothing always works perfectly and there are always exceptional cases.

If a woman's mind was setup with triggers to ignore what others think of her (like most confident people), then she simply won't be as easily brainwashable as others. Her belief about not attaching weight to other people's thoughts of herself remains consistent. So, the theory you mentioned did hold through your story, but you just misinterpreted how the theory was applied.

 

[MattK]

Maybe she promised herself not to date losers.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Maybe

Originally posted by MattK
Maybe she promised herself not to date losers.

How many broken dates do you have in your life after a girl promise to go out with you but didn't?

 

[Walden]

I think the theory in general is sound.

I don't think you can rely on this obligation dynamic but by being aware of it you can work it into your DJing.

 

[The Main Event]

Originally posted by squirrels
Those of you who think psycho-tricks you learned in your "Behavioral Psychology 200" class are alone enough to get you women, take note. Your "assuming the sale" is good, but no woman's going to fall for that if you don't also create attraction.

Couldn't have said it better.

When all is said and done, you need something to back up your magic tricks. If a girl's not into you, she doesn't feel an iota of attraction. And without attraction, she's not going to be enthusiastic about spending any time with you.

One more thing. If you must inject B-grade pop psychology into your dating life, please make sure you're not an idiot about it. Throwing around out-of-place and--let's be honest here--downright weird observations like, "Let's go out for pizza after work on Thursday. You know what Mandy, I have an impression that you're a type of person who keeps her promise and I am very impressed about that" doesn't go down too well in a conversation. Pretty obvious what you're getting at, too.

Not knocking you there. It's simply a case of me realising how easy it is to let go of the fundamentals as soon as you discover a new trick purporting to be a "quick fix".

What the psych "theory" (I use the expression boldly) requires is that you have planted this idea in her mind beforehand, in ordinary conversation. Then she'll be reluctant to go back on her word.

That's not the same as creating attraction, of course, and it won't help your game one tiny little bit. But at least it won't make you look like a socially inept moron.

The other part of the equation is that she has to place some weight on your opinion. Someone made a comment about confident people not fitting this description. That's somewhat true, but it also depends on how big a part you yourself play in her life. She's going to be more affected by a comment from her best friend than a comment from some obsessed hanger-on who she categorises as just a shade removed from being a stalker.

And that just compounds the uselessness of this approach as a "quick fix".


I am
The Main Event.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

The theory that people act consistently with their basic belief and value system is a sound one.

But the book falls down is assuming that it is easy to change someone's belief system. It is not.

It is especially difficult with women because they are much less likely to change and much more likely to react as they always have done. And that is according to their emotions and their hardwired personal value system.

That's why David D.'s "create attraction" system and Doc Love's "bottom line what kind of woman you have" and "when she likes you, she makes it easy for you" system work so well.

Your date with this chickee would have been more succesful if:

- you created attraction first (because women's basic nature is designed to react to attraction); and then,

- let her emotional nature decide if she actually likes you or not (with your attraction creating actions perhaps tipping the balance); and then,

- let her consistent pattern of actions continue to demonstrate what kind of woman she is and that she still has that attraction (ie: accepting the date and the second and the third and banging you and acting like a sane woman would throughout.)

The theory is sound and should be used by a DJ but changing a woman's basic personal nature is nearly impossible.

Don't work against it, work with it.

 

[k_hectic]

Well, you read what I said. The theory does hold, but you didn't account for all the variables when you first evaluated it.

Besides, from the example you mentioned in the book, it seems like it's easy to change little children and not people and with a lot of repetition, not just one time of saying something.

 

[George Gordon]

Originally posted by chlywly
You do realise that ********, is exactly that a discontinuity in form of self. Women who use ******** simply have not begun to explore who they are, they lack self identity... Would you want to be with such a woman for LTR? Probably not.

Disagree. ******** is as much a part of woman as their role as nurturer. They soften to avoid confrontation; Hints to the GUYS who "have not begun to explore who they are, they lack self identity... Would [a woman] want to be with such a [man] for LTR? Probably not."

Woman, always fulfilling her need to encourage man, yet the AFC doesn't understand her language and runs laps with his thoughts instead of aligning his thoughts with the finish-line.

!GG!

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Funny

I think main event got it right..........

I just come across an article mentioning Attitude Behaviour Consistency. It means attitude drives behaviour. For example, if I wish to change my friend's attitude over high fat diet milk, I would first have to ask her if she sees the new low fat diet milk in the television or newspaper. If she does, great. If she doesn't then I have to tell her about it.And then I have to stress a lot how good it is and how bad the high fat diet milk is........ and then I have to get her to some point agree with what I said. This links to another technique called "Foot In the Door Technique"

FITD technique says that once people take a stand or commitment they are more likely to follow through.........BECAUSE people have a need to be consistent with who they are. If you say a thing and then do something else, you will be perceived as a whacko. So next time when my friend wishes to buy some milk, she will have to think again over what I said and therefore she will be force to buy low fat milk cause she has somehow adjusted her belief system when she agreed to what I said.

So I decided to test this technique out.Today, I called the girl who turned me down again for the second time to ask for another date.......One last time........So I started off by casual conversation and follow up with a story of my friend about how bad a girl treated the guy such as standing the guy up or breaking dates consistently. And then I stress on all the negative values about the girl. After I'm done, I asked her out.........and this time, she turned me down again.!!!

Hmm........anyway I am using this technique as a side test to see how effective it is, therefore pls put aside the theories which you have read here so far temp......

So any ideas how YOU will implement this technique if someone ask you to use it?? Just give some examples or whatever that is necessary, maybe you can come up with your own styles of techniques which I may find useful here.