Herb
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2016
- Messages
- 78
- Reaction score
- 18
- Age
- 34
So I've been dating a girl for a little while now, like almost three months. Actually I initially saw her a few weeks, followed by a weird sort of hiatus for a few weeks cause she "needed space", and then she randomly reinitiated again out of nowhere, and we've been seeing each other since. We've gone out seven or eight times by now. On the first date we made out at the end and were touchy feely throughout. On the second, she gave me head. And on two other occasions. We do the kissing and holding hands thing each time, talk or text more or less each day, drink a lot and generally have fun. Done a lot of cool activities and things over the past weeks and took her lots of places. But despite all this, we've never actually fully went to third base all this time. Despite doing me a "favor" on multiple occasions, she didn't seem to want me to return it by going down on her, and kind of turned me away when I tried going down there. One one occasion, when she was drinking alot, we almost got to the point where we were gonna screw and were both naked, but that night she made me keep drinking and drinking till I was nauseous and had the spins, and could barely keep my **** together, so it didn't end up happening. There were other occasions when one of us or both of us were too tired cause of our sometimes discrepant work schedules, or jet lag, or family problems or other issues, so that has added to the "delay".
I will say she was divorced last year after a six month marriage (we're both in our late twenties). She honestly seems to really like me a lot. Is the reason she is holding off on this probably because she wants the first time to be really meaningful or special? Like wants me to be the real deal and not just some other guy out for a hookup? I mean I feel like after all this time I shouldn't be in that boat anymore, and she can trust me. Last time we hung out, we kind of discussed this and she said she just needs time, without really explaining further.
I've tried several approaches with her in the past. At times, especially earlier on, I've tried the rough, forward carnal approach, y'know picking her up, holding her against the wall, pinning her down, even tried a shower thing. A lot of other girls in my experience like this stuff. But each of these times she tells me to slow down. She said something like "whoa, easy man, I'm not like some Latina that's into this kind of stuff you know". So on another occasion I tried the slower, gentler, more tender approach, which seemed to do better, but in the end she still wanted me to wait.
So what's the deal? Is she really holding out for the reasons I alluded to, or am I just like not pushing the right buttons or something? Despite this she still wants to be with me and hang out each week. When she travels overseas she sends me pics and updates of everything she does.
And honestly, it's not even that I need to get off or anything. I can handle that myself, or if it really comes down to it, there are fwb's I could hit up if this doesn't work out. But it's more like I feel bad that I'm not doing anything for her in this regard; women have needs too. And it just feels odd at this point, like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to lol. I know girls can hold out longer but in the end they still need sex too don't they? I guess I've just gotten used to the whole hookup/Tinder culture over the last few years that almost ensures some kind of sexual encounter in the first few dates. Not that I want to pressure her or anything.
I will say she was divorced last year after a six month marriage (we're both in our late twenties). She honestly seems to really like me a lot. Is the reason she is holding off on this probably because she wants the first time to be really meaningful or special? Like wants me to be the real deal and not just some other guy out for a hookup? I mean I feel like after all this time I shouldn't be in that boat anymore, and she can trust me. Last time we hung out, we kind of discussed this and she said she just needs time, without really explaining further.
I've tried several approaches with her in the past. At times, especially earlier on, I've tried the rough, forward carnal approach, y'know picking her up, holding her against the wall, pinning her down, even tried a shower thing. A lot of other girls in my experience like this stuff. But each of these times she tells me to slow down. She said something like "whoa, easy man, I'm not like some Latina that's into this kind of stuff you know". So on another occasion I tried the slower, gentler, more tender approach, which seemed to do better, but in the end she still wanted me to wait.
So what's the deal? Is she really holding out for the reasons I alluded to, or am I just like not pushing the right buttons or something? Despite this she still wants to be with me and hang out each week. When she travels overseas she sends me pics and updates of everything she does.
And honestly, it's not even that I need to get off or anything. I can handle that myself, or if it really comes down to it, there are fwb's I could hit up if this doesn't work out. But it's more like I feel bad that I'm not doing anything for her in this regard; women have needs too. And it just feels odd at this point, like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to lol. I know girls can hold out longer but in the end they still need sex too don't they? I guess I've just gotten used to the whole hookup/Tinder culture over the last few years that almost ensures some kind of sexual encounter in the first few dates. Not that I want to pressure her or anything.
