attitude on sosuave

[darkstarrr]

Would any of you consider the possibility that your quality deteriorated over time, and that is why she left, and instead of looking at your own behaviors, you blamed everything on a general lack of quality among women?

I've had what a lot of you would call "quality" women. One in particular that I met at a bad stage of my life. She won't be deserving of that label until she's been with me for a long time and gone through some of these rough patches to where I can actually SEE her character.

These are 2 brilliant points to think about because they seem conflicting at first glance because one stresses self-reflection and the other stresses reliability but they in fact compliment each other quite nicely.

Self reflection as TO described in such a clear cut way that we are accountable for who we are and how we act. Reliability as described by Str8up is equally important because every single person in this world at some point in their lives will hit a bad patch, where they need encounter a career change or death in their family, or SOMETHING - ANYTHING that can cause them to appear temporarily weak (maybe weak is not the most accurate word).

In regards to what TO said, I had to take steps to move up the ladder for my career and that required me to work extra hours at work and be on conference calls very early in the morning. I also travelled for work (although I do not anymore) and during that time I was unable to get into the gym as often as I would like. So, I lost some pounds and wasn;t as swollen as I normally was. Does this mean my overall "quality" deteriorated to the point where it was justifiably "fair" that I should look into the mirror and blame myself for her leaving? Fvck no I won't do that. I busted my chops for myself and to improve my life. I stuck with that wacko throughout her manic depressive 6 month state and genuinely tried to help her. I didn't think to myself oh "she is acting like a loser and is unattarctive" just because she was going through a bad patch. Its a shame she didn't have the character to grant me the same. Oh but wait, I don't want to come off as being a martyr who gives to receive (/sarcasm). Too bad she couldn't keep her proverbial d1ck in her pants long enough for my busy schedule to be cut back to normal (and yes I am back in the gym now).

But I suppose everything I just said is null because the premise to it all is that I am not talking about a "quality" woman, am I... (*ponders*)

Is a woman low quality if she hits the road when you are going through a bad patch?

2 very good points guys, thank you!

 

[Jeffst1980]

Nice one, STR8UP. I think we're starting to agree on things.

I absolutely agree that a woman can't be judged as "quality" on an initial meeting, or even after a couple of months of dating. It's easy to believe that your woman is a real catch when things are going well. However, it takes a high quality woman to still remain supportive and respectful when things aren't working out for you.

As for the chick repellant, I would say that having the right attitude matters a lot when life knocks you down. Woman will pick up on how you handle adversity, and if you remain optimistic and resilient (in essence assuring them that your situation is temporary and it's no big deal), they will "forgive" you, so to speak. Just the act of dressing well and radiating positivity will give you the appearance of a successful, high valued male, regardless of your current situation. It is then up to you to remain congruent to this appearance and work on fixing your current situation--easier said than done, I know, but certainly achievable.

I know that about 6 years ago--when I lost my job and got dumped in the same month--I had the chick repellent for some time. Going out and opening sets with that negative mindset just reinforced my poor self image. If you are feeling depressed or suffering from a lack of confidence, your best bet is to avoid chatting up girls altogether. Confidence comes from within. Getting girls does not lead to confidence, it leads to a dependence on them for validation.

A similar thing goes for insecurities--an average or below average looking guy won't have issues in an LTR if he communicates that he is secure with himself and how he looks. It's average looking guy that fixates on and feels ashamed of his imperfections that runs into trouble. For this guy, it doesn't matter if he's got a girl wildly in love with him--he'll still feel subpar.

For the record, I have no recollection what the OP was about.

 

[darkstarrr]

I know that about 6 years ago--when I lost my job and got dumped in the same month--I had the chick repellent for some time. Going out and opening sets with that negative mindset just reinforced my poor self image. If you are feeling depressed or suffering from a lack of confidence, your best bet is to avoid chatting up girls altogether.

So what are we supposed to do if we are in LTRs and something happens in our lives? Are we supposed to act as best we can like it does not phase us even if it does? Does being in a LTR mean that we must be afraid to turn to our significant other for moral support etc because of the possibility that they will fall out of attraction for us?

Thoughts please!

 

[Mr. Me]

This is 20 some odd years ago, he is NO LONGER WITH HER, yet "Have faith! There are quality women out there!"

You're assuming that their demise was due to her not being a quality woman, when perhaps it was due to Jophil not doing right by her. Like taiyuu_otoko pointed out:

"Would any of you consider the possibility that your quality deteriorated over time, and that is why she left, and instead of looking at your own behaviors, you blamed everything on a general lack of quality among women?"

 

[DavenJuan]

So what are we supposed to do if we are in LTRs and something happens in our lives? Are we supposed to act as best we can like it does not phase us even if it does? Does being in a LTR mean that we must be afraid to turn to our significant other for moral support etc because of the possibility that they will fall out of attraction for us?

Thoughts please!

IMO some women, "quality women" as somes definition describes, may FIND IT ATTRACTIVE that you are capable of placing trust in her enough to confined in her for moral support.

whats the point of being in any LTR if you are required to "hide" yourself from sharing with your partner?

complacency and portraying numerous acts of weakness is more of a reason for the relationship to take a turn then simply looking for support.

what are we supposed to do if we are in LTRs and something happens in our lives?

isnt this the times when we are able to identify the relationships that HAVE strong foundation vs not?

this is when moral support shouldnt be ASKED for, but EXPECTED. if your gf was going through any type of "something" that could possibly put her in a place of negativity, wouldnt you.. better yet SHOULDNT you be there to help?

 

[jophil28]

This is 20 some odd years ago, he is NO LONGER WITH HER, yet "Have faith! There are quality women out there!"

I would still be with her if I had the choice, but breast cancer had other plans for her.
SHe died in 1991.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

Quality people are real, but you won't believe they are if you've never met them or spent time with them. I'm guessing a lot of the people who complain about women on this board may very well live in a bad area and just don't realize that they do because they have never seen anything else.

If you do look around yourself and find a human waste dump, start planing your escape.

Fight for your future.

..and thats why im goin back to the A.T.L. (Atlanta)..On the real!!

And that's how the women be actin in Monroe. The think they all that but the attitudes is horrible and sho no repect at all...on the real...No Joke!!

But im still getting out of Monroe and becoming a rap legend...or Be on T.V. or hosting on the Radio and Have my own arcade/game room palace!!!

Real Talk....

 

[STR8UP]

I would still be with her if I had the choice, but breast cancer had other plans for her.
SHe died in 1991.

And to think, when I was typing this the thought did cross my mind at what an ass hole I would feel like if this is what had happened.

I'm officially an ass hole, I apologize.