Here's the problem. That "door" is open as soon as she leaves the house.
There's a difference between, say, she goes to work in an office and she accepts lunch dates with another man. While an affair can happen either way, she's at the office to work, earn a paycheck, whereas a decision to have lunch with this other guy is... what? Certainly not about work, certainly an elective. It's all about being with this other guy.
This whole concept of your woman not being able to have male friends under any circumstances is ridiculous.
I guess it must be, because you seem to know what a ridiculous premise is.
I didn't say she *couldn't* have male friends. I said the right woman is going to turn down offers.
We all want to go out as a group? Me, her, Larry, her co-worker, Steve, her friend from college and his girlfriend? No problem. She wants to go out with Larry alone. Problem.
If you don't allow your woman to have male friends then
I believe I wrote that a guy should permit his woman to do whatever she wants. I don't tell a woman what she can and can't do. I tell her how I'll respond perhaps. But hopefully, I don't commit up with a woman before I know her character well enough, so this kind of stuff is hardly an issue.
I am Man enough not to be insecure about my woman, and I am smart enough to be able to spot disrespect. I don't need to start thumping my chest and draw lines in the sand to "keep my woman in line". She's gonna do what she's gonna do. The more you try to put her in a cage the more she's going to fight you.
You're inferring I'm insecure and stupid. Again, where did you read me saying tell a woman what to do? I'm saying let her play her hand. That's the only way you can see who she is, if she chooses not to play it right, you walk. You don't have to stick around for disloyalty. Give me the woman who's loyal to me and who will turn down the lunch offer. That's my gal.
You think having lunch with a guy she's known for years before you met her is any different than her working late hours on a project with a male co-worker?
This is exactly the kind of stuff women say to shame men in order to keep company with another man. That and calling them insecure.
But yes, if she has to work late on a project, if she really must, that's for work. Doesn't mean she's having a drink with him while he's macking her. If she agrees to a dinner date with the dude, that's... what? I see a huge difference.
And it doesn't matter HOW LONG she's known anyone. It's not about length of time.
What matters is how she puts her relationship with her man as the priority.
And there's a big difference between "lunch dates" and catching up with an old friend
And the right woman will invite you along to meet the old friend at lunch.
It's "OK" if she's paid to hang out with a guy, huh? Not much logic there.
She's not getting paid to hang out with a guy. She gets paid to work with the guy. Maybe you misunderstood and maybe that's why it doesn't seem logical to you.
So, yes, it's okay to work with someone if that's what your job requires.
She can't say it's her job requiring her to have a drink with him after work in the cozy corner of a dark bar.
But if she does say that, then I'd suspect her integrity is low.
I suppose you could argue that the "work dynamic" might help keep things in check, but I think I heard somewhere that the majority of affairs women have are with coworkers, so that defense is pretty weak.
The affair doesn't really grow its legs in the office. But it sure can get cultivated by accepting invites for lunch or drinks after work.
What can I say? I am telling you, if you're with a woman who insists on seeing her old male friends and making new ones, and defending it with "I've known him longer then I know you!" and "He's just a friend!" and going off having her secret life, your relationship has a hole in it: You're with a low integrity or low interest woman.
