backbreaker said:
and my problem when i hit my teens and started attracting the opposite sex, is i thought every woman was like my mom, as long as i was nice to them. i was wrong. i also had to learn that even when you found a good one, you still had to keep her attracted to you. just because a woman is a good woman doesn't' mean she isn't a woman.
Oh man, this was me to a tee in high school.
What sort of threw me for a bit of a loop was back in the day, I would see my Mom and Dad fight from time to time. I would see what I thought at the time was my Dad was my Dad overreacting to my Mom's BS (she is a woman of course, and as we all know, the **** tests never end.) He would basically sternly take charge and tell her how it was going to be. I would then see my Mom get upset with him, and if it was a big deal, cry a bit. I would see this and think "I'm not going to be like that... I'll be more diplomatic and open." Of course, what I DIDN'T see was when my Mom would get over it, realize she was wrong, and then go **** my Dad's brains out when they made up. What was REALLY going on was my Dad just knew how to game his woman and not put up with **** tests.
In high school, I was lucky in that a lot of my Dad's alpha qualities had rubbed off on me. I was a three sport letterman, so I was very fit, and got a lot of attention from girls. However, when I would go on dates with them, they would quickly lose interest because I was trying to be all "open" and "diplomatic" which they would construe as me being submissive (which it was.)
In my early 20s, I began to see more clearly into the nature of my parents' relationship, and when I realized the importance of my Dad being firm, it REALLY changed things for me. Heck, it changed my whole demeanor, and girls who were blowing me off after one date were now practically stalking me.
On another note, back on topic of the "Captain Save a Ho" theme...
One thing I've noticed is that people seem to be at least unconsciously aware of the fact that these guys are indeed going for girls who are "damaged goods."
If you were to ask one of those people encouraging this guy, I'm sure they would tell you how awesome it is that this guy is willing to be a father to children that aren't his. I think that's a cop out. I think they know the girl isn't worth a damn, and that's what they are REALLY congratulating him for.
The reason I say that kids aren't the real factor, is because my sister is 27, probably a 7.5 on the looks scale, and has a 3 year old daughter. The Father of the baby was her husband, who died in Afghanistan. She has a Master's degree, makes great money, owns a pretty amazing townhouse, and travels all over the world. Her husband died shortly after the baby was born, and she has started dating again again in the last few months.
Trust me, the dialogue from the facebook peanut gallery is TOTALLY different. No one is saying to the guy she is seeing "Dude, you are so awesome for dating a girl with a kid." But rather they are saying "Dude, she is awesome, you are one lucky SOB."
Kind of an interesting double standard.
