Advice for virgin, never had girlfriend, in twenties...

[Magn]

Hi guys

I am in my twenties and I have never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, kissed a girl, etc. I just found out that I have a tumor, and they say I won't die from it or anything, but it made me want to stop wasting my life before I die, so I would like to try to get girls for the first time in my adult life.

I have always lived with my mother, and I still do. I have never had a job, and I never went to college. I only leave the house to go out to eat (with family members) a couple times a week, and I have no friends. I was the most popular kid in school until my mid-teens when I became introverted after my dad left our family. After that I didn't want any friends, and I never went to any more social gatherings, like dances, parties, or even my graduation.

I look good; 6' tall, muscular, 10% bodyfat; my face is a "9", and I have been asked if I am a model a few times. I run and lift weights everyday. I am also smart, but I am just not able to communicate without being overly anxious because I never talk to anyone. Oh yeah, my family all thinks that I am a homo because I never dated a girl.



Here is that situation that I would like advice on. I have a new "neighbor" girl that is about a "7.5". She is living here after getting out of college last year. Her family is poor, she is a little stupid, and I feel that she is beneath me, so I decided to make her the first girl I asked out. She was always saying "hi" to me, smiling at me, staring into my eyes when she would walk by, so I thought she would let me "date" her. Another girl also told me that she was talking about me and said that I was really hot.

I decided to be totally direct, and as she walked by I asked her if she would like to go out to dinner or the movies. She said that she has a boyfriend of two years in her home state, but she would go out with me. I thought that was weird, so I just left after that without saying anything, or maybe I just said OK or something. Two weeks later I asked her out again. I asked if she wanted to see a movie that night, she said that she would love to and she would call me, but then she never called me. I ignored her for a month after that, and she was always saying "hi", waving, smiling, still acting like she wanted to be my friend.

A few days ago she brought some totally dorky guy over and waved at me as she walked inside with him. He left after an hour, and it made me kind of jealous even though I know I am way better than him, so the next day I went to talk to her. She said she never called because she fell asleep, then we somehow made plans to go out to dinner and movies on this upcoming weekend. Then she told me that she does not want me to get the wrong idea like some of her other guy friends have because she has a 2 year long relationship boyfriend.

I feel like she wants my attention, like coming around when only I am outside, and wearing a skin tight shirt with no bra, watching me from her window, and other similar stuff. At this point, I do not want to take her out because I feel like she is playing with me, being a ***** because she could tell that I was nervous talking to her, and she knows that I have no friends or social life and live with my mom. What would be the best thing to do here since she is screwing with me? Today I almost went over and told her that it was off, and also probably made her cry, but I could not get the courage to do that.

 

[Max Power]

NEXT her

 

[BluEyes]

You have a horrible personality.

Her family is poor, she is a little stupid, and I feel that she is beneath me, so I decided to make her the first girl I asked out.

that's a great attitude to approach a relationship with.

she brought some totally dorky guy

says the creeper with no friends, to the guy who's with the girl you're fantasizing about.

even though I know I am way better than him

way to jump to a conclusion here. what led you to assume this?

Today I almost went over and told her that it was off, and also probably made her cry, but I could not get the courage to do that.

you think she would cry? she'd likely laugh in your face. oh wait, you didn't even have the balls to go up and reject her!

-----

No one can help you until you drop the superiority complex you have. All that time spent wanking off in your room has turned you into a narcissistic loser. Step back into reality by accepting that you aren't quite yet, "the sh1t".

good luck

 

[Obliteraga]

You have a horrible personality.



that's a great attitude to approach a relationship with.



says the creeper with no friends, to the guy who's with the girl you're fantasizing about.



way to jump to a conclusion here. what led you to assume this?



you think she would cry? she'd likely laugh in your face. oh wait, you didn't even have the balls to go up and reject her!

-----

No one can help you until you drop the superiority complex you have. All that time spent wanking off in your room has turned you into a narcissistic loser. Step back into reality by accepting that you aren't quite yet, "the sh1t".

good luck

This is a little harsh, don't you think? At least he has confidence. I wouldn't come down too hard on him.

 

[Skel]

So I was going to respond and give you some advice but then I read..

"Her family is poor, she is a little stupid, and I feel that she is beneath me, so I decided to make her the first girl I asked out."

I dont understand what being poor has to do with anything. Why even bring it up ? You sound like a douche bag.

 

[Desdinova]

Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the link that says "DJ Bible". Since you basically do nothing all day, take that time to read and learn.

 

[KneghtRyder]

r u a troll ?

 

[Magn]

You have a horrible personality.

you think she would cry? she'd likely laugh in your face. oh wait, you didn't even have the balls to go up and reject her!

I probably do have a bad personality, but I'm trying to improve. Yes, I think she would cry with what I would really like to say to her for being a phony bit©h.

What exactly do you do all day? Honestly? Smoke weed, play videogames, what?

Anyhow, you need to start interacting with others, and start doing something with your life. A guy like you lived near me, was a narcissistic loser, didn't hold a job, lived with mommie, and was really good looking. He didn't pull girls. Girls aren't homosexual men. Walking around with your shirt off isn't good enough.

I'm not a DJ yet, but I've done the things you haven't-had sex, taken (multiple) girls on dates, held (multiple) jobs, went to university. I went through a period of severe depression, and during that time I didn't do anything, let alone pick up chicks.

I just live with my mom because it is what I am used to. I have enough money that I could buy a nice house, but I don't really have a reason to. I'm not a narcissist or conceited, but lately I have been trying to think positively about myself, versus how I always used to dislike myself. I don't do anything all day; wake up and run 4 miles, then breakfast and shower, then play videogames, watch TV, or use a PC, then lift weights for an hour later in the day. I eat about 6 times a day and don't do drugs or drink.

So I was going to respond and give you some advice but then I read..

"Her family is poor, she is a little stupid, and I feel that she is beneath me, so I decided to make her the first girl I asked out."

I dont understand what being poor has to do with anything. Why even bring it up ? You sound like a douche bag.

I bring it up because she has no money and I have a lot; I thought it would be a pertinent detail because it shows another way that I would be theoretically "better" than her, and based upon some of the things I have read on this site, women would prefer men more if they are in a higher social class. Besides that reason, I don't care about someones wealth, or lack of it.

I have been reading the Bible since yesterday, and I am not a troll KneghtRyder. Thanks to the people that actually offered advice instead of just bashing.

 

[diizy]

Dude, what the F*CK, listen to yourself speak. Get your **** out of your ass and move your ego out of your face.

If you ever want to get laid (or get ANY action), you're going to have to put your ugly ego away.

I bring it up because she has no money and I have a lot; I thought it would be a pertinent detail because it shows another way that I would be theoretically "better" than her, and based upon some of the things I have read on this site, women would prefer men more if they are in a higher social class. Besides that reason, I don't care about someones wealth, or lack of it.

... and this is asking to simply have a girl who wants you for what you are... not who you are.


Fix your personality.

 

[Magn]

Dude, what the F*CK, listen to yourself speak. Get your **** out of your ass and move your ego out of your face.

If you ever want to get laid (or get ANY action), you're going to have to put your ugly ego away.


... and this is asking to simply have a girl who wants you for what you are... not who you are.


Fix your personality.

First off, I have no ego. I am a ****ing virgin that's never had a girlfriend, and I admit it; what an egotistical bastard I am. Some of you guys act pretty superior for members of a site dedicated to manipulating women into sex; that's OK, but I'm an a-hole. I came at this girl honestly, and I really didn't expect any bull****, and in searching around online I found this place, which basically tells me that I need to learn bull**** too. Like I already said, the money thing is just based upon what I read from this site.

Also, based on what I have read here, there are worse things than being a jerk if you want to get girls. I was just looking for some real advice; tell this girl to **** off, leave her alone, whatever?

 

[NickSCFC2000]

I think you're shy, you'd be amazed how quickly you can turn it around though.

 

[snowdog]

One simple tip, get a job where you have to interact with people all day. It helped me a LOT while it wasn't my intention to make me change but it did.

I got a job at an electronics store that sells TV's, camera's, vacuum cleaners... you name it. I got that job at the time because it was my field of interest and i needed money of course. I had to talk with random people all day long (to make them buy shyte they didn't need) and it changed me from a shy guy to an outgoing and happy person that people like to talk to. It made me radiate some vibe that makes people comfortable around me.

Before you start reading e-books this should be the first thing you'd do. If you are indeed hot as you say, you should get chicks easily if you got game too. Ugly guys get laid all the time.

On a side note, getting educated is always a good idea. I'll improve your chances greatly of having a succesful life in the future and you'll meet lots of interesting people (including hot chicks, the best of em are on college campussus).

 

[everywomanshero]

Roadmap to go from virgin to ladies man:

1) Agree with above poster that you need a job that requires interaction with people. Basic social skills are critical plus you can't do much without $$$$$.

2) Understand human behavior. There is an article on psychology today titled "ten politically incorrect beliefs that are true" or something like that, you can read it online to get a basic primer.

3) Combine internet dating sites and going out to malls/clubs/house parties often. At first just try to meet people, don't go overboard with "techniques". No more than 3 new "techniques" should be read without field testing first. You will only become even more unrealistic unless you actually try things out in the real world.

4) Get laid. Even if it's with a fatty you need to slay the dragon. Go to a swingers club in your area that accepts single men, go on vacation to Tijuana, do whatever it takes to realize women are way more sexual than men but just ina slightly diff way.

5) Fix bad communication habits. Join Toastmasters and start correcting nervous ticks and such over time.

6) Get a respectable profession. Once you get your love life under control, you'll naturally start to think more positively about your prospects of accomplsihing whatever it is that fascinates you.

7) Consider getting tested for depression and/or other mental illness. You won
t have much luck in relationships if you're suffering from a mental illness which I think is very possible.

8) Exercise. Doesn't have to be world class training. I'm just talking some pushups, chinups, situps, and cardio to get started. If you haven't any room for weights, then you might consider those rubber band type things. I used them when I was on the road a lot and got pretty toned.

9) Make a quota and take massive action. Approach 10 women per day, Email 20 women a day, and spend no more than 45 min. per day reading about women in that order unless you are day 2ing a chick.

10) Get your own place, even if it's just a studio or something.

 

[Magn]

1) Agree with above poster that you need a job that requires interaction with people. Basic social skills are critical plus you can't do much without $$$$$.

I already have as much money as I need. I'd consider a job, but I'd feel like an idiot if I had to be a salesman or be waiting on people. I'd rather go to school or something along those lines.

2) Understand human behavior. There is an article on psychology today titled "ten politically incorrect beliefs that are true" or something like that, you can read it online to get a basic primer.

Just read it. I liked this part.

"In one now-classic study, 75 percent of undergraduate men approached by an attractive female stranger agreed to have sex with her; none of the women approached by an attractive male stranger did. Many men who would not date the stranger nonetheless agreed to have sex with her. "

3) Combine internet dating sites and going out to malls/clubs/house parties often. At first just try to meet people, don't go overboard with "techniques". No more than 3 new "techniques" should be read without field testing first. You will only become even more unrealistic unless you actually try things out in the real world.

Internet dating is just too weird for me. No malls or clubs around here have people that I would want to meet, and I have never really been to a party.

4) Get laid. Even if it's with a fatty you need to slay the dragon. Go to a swingers club in your area that accepts single men, go on vacation to Tijuana, do whatever it takes to realize women are way more sexual than men but just ina slightly diff way.

There is no way in hell that I will bang a fat girl or a skank. There are a couple hot girls (about 8s) I know that I think would let me bang them, so I will try next weekend. They are kind of aquaintances of my family, and I never really liked them, but they look nice.

5) Fix bad communication habits. Join Toastmasters and start correcting nervous ticks and such over time.

I'll probably pass on that, unless I decide I really need it after trying a couple more girls.

6) Get a respectable profession. Once you get your love life under control, you'll naturally start to think more positively about your prospects of accomplsihing whatever it is that fascinates you.

I got that handled. It's there for me whenever I want it.

7) Consider getting tested for depression and/or other mental illness. You won
t have much luck in relationships if you're suffering from a mental illness which I think is very possible.

I'm newly seeing a therapist for agoraphobia.

8) Exercise. Doesn't have to be world class training. I'm just talking some pushups, chinups, situps, and cardio to get started. If you haven't any room for weights, then you might consider those rubber band type things. I used them when I was on the road a lot and got pretty toned.

I run and lift weights daily. It's what I do to take up some time.

9) Make a quota and take massive action. Approach 10 women per day, Email 20 women a day, and spend no more than 45 min. per day reading about women in that order unless you are day 2ing a chick.

I have never seen 10 women I was attracted to in a single day. Where do you go?

10) Get your own place, even if it's just a studio or something.

I'm going to. It can be very annoying living with my mom.



Anyhow, here's the update on this bit©h. I ignored her on Saturday instead of taking her out, and she just sat home all evening. Then I gave her back some of her own bull**** on Sunday, and I told her I forgot. The good part is that she acted sad, so I "comforted" her, then I put my hand between her legs while we were talking, then I fingered her and after that I got a BJ. It was really strange and we didn't even kiss or anything, so I got head from a girl before I have ever kissed one. Also, she just kept talking while I fingered her, like it was not happening, but there were little moans and breathing mixed in. Now she has flipped and is acting like she likes me, even though she has a boyfriend. I think I can probably fu©k her now. I guess some girls like it when you act like you don't care about them. I do feel better about myself now. Thanks men.

 

[Dark Chivalry]

If you are not comfortable taking a job, you can volunteer or take a class. Activities that require you to leave your comfort zone and exert yourself build character, plus you might make a few friends.

Also, if you have enough money and need not work, travel a few times a year, go to concerts, the opera and read a few books every month. A cultured man is preferred by women.

After a year, you'll have more life experience, a more interesting life and a mre attractive personality.

What sort of women are you attracted to? What do you expect from a sexual partner and from a long term relationship?

The girl probably picked you to cheat on her boyfriend, the dorky guy, with, because a man who has no friends, agoraphobia and never goes out cannot help being discrete.

 

[Interceptor]

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070622-000002.xml

 

[Sir Juanalot]

To be honest, you sound like a conceited wanker.

Good luck, you gonna need it.

Lil quote for you.

"Its hard to see eye to eye with people when you are looking down on everyone"

Luckily you are loaded, so im sure some gold digger will come and take care of you.

 

[The Forms]

So you haven't grown up any since you were 16?

I don't know where you get the idea that you're better than everyone. It doesn't really seem like you have that much to offer in the first place. Not to be a ****, but it's the truth. In your twenties, live with your mom, haven't grown or matured at the same pace as people your own age. In the original post you seemed like you blame this on your dad walking out or something like that. Which is BS, and I'm sure you know it. Plenty of people have been through everything you've been through and more and still get on with their lives.

You come here to ask for advice, then you refuse to take any. It's plain to everyone here what your problems are. And everyone's telling you pretty much the same type of thing, just in different ways.

From here you have to decide if you want to be defensive about everything and not change (pretend like your attitudes aren't the problem, it's the rest of the world that's the problem), or humble yourself, take the advice offered and improve your life.

 

[night101]

i don't see how he's offending everyone.

he's an innocent, honest guy with a bad model for relationships. The people-interaction job is the best advice. Or try going to school and talk to other students... what do you think about this class, is it suppose to be good, etc. Basically you need to find some sort of base that creates social connections.

 

[Ryan69]

You don't like her cause she is poor ? You can't be doing that much better if you live beside her.