3yr relationship now ending

[GameTime76]

(sorry, I'm kind of busy and typing this quickly)

Well, me and my.. now, ex girlfriend recently broke up last night. We been together for almost 3 years. Been together for around 2 and a half years and then we decided to move in together. Everything seemed fined until the last few days she has been hanging out with her girlfriends. After that I noticed something was wrong.

i was asking her whats going on and she said everything is fine she is just tired. I could sense b.s. so, I said i think your lying and i can really sense something is wrong.

Thats when he told me. She said the last couple weeks she has been having second thoughts about me. She has been feelin tied down and not having fun anymore.

I can under stand.. the last 2 months I been laid off. and we have been strapped for cash. not going out and doing things as much cause of money problems. But, hey I guess that shows me something. I mean she couldnt come and talk to me and just wanted to give up on a relationship so fast.

So, I was been calm but, hurt feeling. I mean sh*t i been with this girl for awhile who wouldnt feel hurt. I suggest she should call her mom and I can help load up for stuff. She agreed and was saying how sorry she was and what a great bf I been. She just thought her life was going in another direction.

So, later today she will be coming over to get the rest of her stuff. I dont know if I should talk about things with her about how I feel. Or just let it be and let herget her stuff.

 

[vorbis]

Wow what a *****. Dude you're way better off without a girl who ditches you at the first bump in the road.

 

[1337]

keep it cool, don't show any emotions and let her be. She decided this, probably taught about this for a while, you convincing her will just postpone the break up. Get your priorities straightened out while meeting new girls and you should be good to go. Theres nothing like the feeling of a new start.

 

[GameTime76]

Well she called me a little bit ago and ask how I was feeling. I told her how I felt about this and wished she would of came and talked about her feelings to me earlier.

She said she wished she did too but, lately just didnt feel the same way about me and wasnt sure about our future together. She said she still loved me and had a great time with me but, just wanted to try living on her own seeing what else is out there. She told me to go out and find better looking girls and fvck all of them... lol Anyways, its final now. She will get the rest of her stuff today.

I just think it sucks to be lied to about how she loved then, to get blind sided by this.

So, now I'm just trying to stay strong and think positive. I would say most of my hurt is gone now. I'm in my mid 20's and got my whole life ahead and I bet later down the road she will be calling me wanting me back Which, I will not take her back.

And tonight I got plans to hang out and maybe drink with a friend. Hell maybe go to a bar and try and get some of my game back.

 

[2crudedudes]

Sucks man. Sucks about the job, sucks about the girl. If I've learned anything from the short time I've been on this site, though, its that moving in with a girl w/o marriage is more or less a no-no. However, it looks like you found out the truth about your partner before things got any more serious, and you still have your dignity. When things get better, you'll be all the better without her and she'll beg to come back. Then you can rightfully boot her in the ass for being such a self-centered b*tch.

 

[GameTime76]

Well, she moved her stuff out and she said would call me back Friday and pay the last two weeks rents worth of her living with me.

I've been a lurker on this site for awhile and thought I've learned alot over the years but damn. I did not see this coming. It seems like there would of been more signs than just last couple day. I couldnt believe she could just lie about her feelings to me. I mean she acted like how she felt in the beginning.

Not to sound like I'm b!tching. its just mind blowing to me of how well she hid her emotions the last week or so.

Anyways, any helpful tips would be appreciated.

 

[shyguy32]

GT, it's really hard man and I feel for you. I was with my exwife for about 10 years and all of a sudden I'm single again. This was 6 years ago of course, and it hurt like hell and recently I went through a break up with a girl I had been dating for almost a year.

But anyway, you're doing what you can. Stay strong and positive, look for friends to hang out with and things to keep your mind occupied.

But really if you read this site and get a couple self help books, they're all about making your life better and when you make your life better you allow better people into it.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Well, she moved her stuff out and she said would call me back Friday and pay the last two weeks rents worth of her living with me.

I've been a lurker on this site for awhile and thought I've learned alot over the years but damn. I did not see this coming. It seems like there would of been more signs than just last couple day. I couldnt believe she could just lie about her feelings to me. I mean she acted like how she felt in the beginning.

Not to sound like I'm b!tching. its just mind blowing to me of how well she hid her emotions the last week or so.

Anyways, any helpful tips would be appreciated.

Don't talk to her about it at all anymore or your feelings. Stop that. Please, for your own good. You're doing her a huge favor and causing damage to yourself by doing it.

Everything is fine except for money and going out just recently, she hangs out with her friends and she suddenly wants to bail out immediately....what's wrong with her ending things after xmas? What's the friggin hurry?

That's a long relationship man. And, in the blink of an eye she says she has another direction she wants to go immediately and see what's out there. That sucks.

As hard as it seems, stop talking about it with her. IT'S OVER. She needs to justify whatever it is she's up to so she won't feel like she did something wrong by getting you to act AFC and whine about your feelings and how hurt you are. There isn't anything to talk about right?

It's over. Get your shait together so you won't end up pining away for something that won't come back with her.

 

[Furyguy]

My heart goes out to you man. I don't know what that feels like but it must be mind-blowing.

Stay strong dude, the community's here for you.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

It is that time of year, isn't it? This is one of twenty breakup threads currently going.

I've always thought the summer was the only time to meet women, and that they went into a strange hibernation in the winter never to be seen. But lately I am being proven wrong, which I love, for how else could we learn anything? I am seeing and meeting interested women everywhere I go now, they party in the summer but they are driven by their "lizard brain" to nest with a male in the winter.

So go be the guy they are nesting with!

And go NC on your ex as well. No matter WHAT you are going through, any further contact with her will only serve to torture and confuse you further.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

(sorry, I'm kind of busy and typing this quickly)

Well, me and my.. now, ex girlfriend recently broke up last night. We been together for almost 3 years. Been together for around 2 and a half years and then we decided to move in together. Everything seemed fined until the last few days she has been hanging out with her girlfriends.

Go read the 10 Iron Rules of Tomassi.....


That was the your death sentence


Think of it this way; you were a powerful male lion when you two met. Then when you decided to move in together, she completely tamed you into a house cat.... can you see where the spark was lost???




PIMP

 

[Joe Stud]

What's that song by Carly Simon? "I Haven't Got Time For The Pain".

Stop wondering why... and move on, my friend. Start going out, and definitely get another job FAST.

You need income, and with that you get options... one of them is women.

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Always live by yourself its much better that way, sarging gives you many opportunities, its a game, its a numbers game, it nearly 2009 not 1949, if the truth be known youre one of the luckiest guys on the earth, you can learn and learn very fast, the opportunies ahead of you are absolutely amazing.

 

[drak_ool]

I'm with Vorbis and The Mysterious Guy on this one. What quality girl ditches you because you've lost your job, no less 1 week before xmas? wtf? In this situation, it's almost inevitable she has another guy on the side.

That being said, she blind sided you, now it's your turn. Go no contact on her, but without any big speeches or rants. Simply refuse to communicate with her. Any girl in her situation will want to talk to you. She wants to make sure that she made the right decision. So every time you talk to her, whine or what not, she knows you still think about her, she knows you still care about her, basically she knows you're still acting AFC, which is probably what killed her IL in the first place.

But as soon as you "disappear", she will not get the signals she was hoping to get from you. All of a sudden you become an enigma again. She wants to know what's going on with you. She will start blowing up your phone. Hopefully by that time you would have moved on with your life and will not even think about getting back with her.

 

[DonGorgon]

Always dump your woman when things are great.. she will love you for it and F you for ever..

 

[GameTime76]

@Pimpicle.. I under stand what you mean. But, I figured it would be okay cause of how long we were together before we moved in. I mean its not like a girl I just met. But, its one more thing to keep in mind for the future.

At everyone else... Its not like I want to tell her my feelings. Though, its more like I just want to talk to her about things cause of how fast this happend. But, dont worry guys my wounds are pretty muched healed. I know I gotta stay strong and when she comes over Friday to give me my money. I'm just gonna thank her, a simple goodbye and maybe say maybe we can just be friends later down the road. Unless, you guys think I should say something different?

I know there is this one guy who I think is a loser who has liked her for awhile. Maybe, she just got bored with me when my money got low and wanted to jump to this guy. But, I'm glad her actions told me some things about her and its done with now. I'm glad that relationship didnt go any further. Who knows.. what could of happened later on.

 

[drak_ool]

I'm glad her actions told me some things about her

there you go! Always let her actions speak, don't listen to what she's telling you. She could be making wedding plans with you while txting her other guy throughout the whole convo.

Never judge a woman by her words, always by her actions.

As far as you bringing up the "maybe we can be friends talk...", just leave that to her, don't give her a straight answer, keep her guessing. Remember, the faster you disappear from her life, the better off you are.

Either way, from what i read this year (and I'm always checking out the "just broke up with gf" threads) you win the "Moving On" award. I like your attitude: you recognize this girl was not high value enough so you don't mourn her loss but instead are ready to move on with your life.

Good luck!

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

@Pimpicle.. I under stand what you mean. But, I figured it would be okay cause of how long we were together before we moved in. I mean its not like a girl I just met. But, its one more thing to keep in mind for the future.

At everyone else... Its not like I want to tell her my feelings. Though, its more like I just want to talk to her about things cause of how fast this happend. But, dont worry guys my wounds are pretty muched healed. I know I gotta stay strong and when she comes over Friday to give me my money. I'm just gonna thank her, a simple goodbye and maybe say maybe we can just be friends later down the road. Unless, you guys think I should say something different?

Don't thank her for doing this to you...that's pretty sick if you think about it.

Don't ask/beg to have her as a friend...that's pretty sick if you think about it.

Don't believe she's going to tell you what she's been up to that caused this...that's a friggin delusion...she needs to see you beg to be friends and thank her and whine about your feelings and "oh how could this happen"? so she can feel good about what she's done and is doing right now. We've seen this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER and it always works out that way you're not going to be the first where it didn't. She needs to fix this so you're the loser chump on your knees and she's just a girl that didn't do anything wrong, in fact, she'll feel she was justified. ****!

You'll just make yourself worse and she can do her "new direction" and feel like you deserved it while she's enjoying that "new direction".

Just say goodbye, that's it, and get your ****ing **** together. Anything else would be shameful when you look back on it...you'll realize you were thanking her on your knees for a chance to have her be a friend cry on your shoulder when she gets tired of whatever she screwed you over for.

Goddamn dude, everyone is telling you to ****ing get her out of your ****ing life!

I meant that in a good way. Tough love and all that. Good luck and hope you can salvage your holiday!

 

[GameTime76]

Don't thank her for doing this to you...that's pretty sick if you think about it.

Don't ask/beg to have her as a friend...that's pretty sick if you think about it.

Don't believe she's going to tell you what she's been up to that caused this...that's a friggin delusion...she needs to see you beg to be friends and thank her and whine about your feelings and "oh how could this happen"? so she can feel good about what she's done and is doing right now. We've seen this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER and it always works out that way you're not going to be the first where it didn't. She needs to fix this so you're the loser chump on your knees and she's just a girl that didn't do anything wrong, in fact, she'll feel she was justified. ****!

You'll just make yourself worse and she can do her "new direction" and feel like you deserved it while she's enjoying that "new direction".

Just say goodbye, that's it, and get your ****ing **** together. Anything else would be shameful when you look back on it...you'll realize you were thanking her on your knees for a chance to have her be a friend cry on your shoulder when she gets tired of whatever she screwed you over for.

Goddamn dude, everyone is telling you to ****ing get her out of your ****ing life!

I meant that in a good way. Tough love and all that. Good luck and hope you can salvage your holiday!

No worries about the tough love. Though, a couple things I said were missed understood.

1. saying thank you. I mean by giving me the rent money lol. And for not leading me on anymore.

2.I wasnt planning out begging for a friendship. I was just gonna be a good sport about this whole break up and say that. If I do.

 

[GameTime76]

UPDATE

I have a update if anyone is interested...

She came over today (suprising) and actually gave me some rent money for the last 2 weeks we were together.

It was a clean goodbye. No arguments or expressing are feelings. She talked a little bit about what her plans are. such as getting her own place and having her sister move up her and ect. I said, good for you and told her a little bit about what I'll be doing. Then, I just switched the subject and started talking about something other than this.

Then, she initiated and gave me a hug and said I'll call you. haha.. and I bet she will be after she realizes what she gave up!

I have a whole new out look on this. I dont care any more and feel free again. All the things i can do, all the new women I can f**k and ect. I'm, suprised i already feel better. Maybe, cause, I've dealt with women and break ups before.

Thanks, Sosuave for the advice when I needed it. I'm off to better things now.