Your girlfriend wants to do X and you say NO!

[Omen]

For those who have girlfriends, how often do you guys actually tell your girl what she can and cant do?

For instance, I invited a girl a month ago to my graduation open house, and she said ok. I brought it up later, and she still said ok, but then later she sent me a text and said...my boyfriend wont let me go so.... I dont know.

I saw her two days later, and gave her the invitation, and said... Well, since you said your not coming, I guess this is of no use to you now huh? She was like... I might come.

Then she went back to the whole... I dont know, and I dont want to upset my boyfriend by showing up, cause he knows about you.

I told her... Look, do what YOU want to do. I invited you, and I want you to show up. If you want to go, go, and dont let HIM make your decisions for you.

I left it at that and said... If you need directions, call me after work on Sat.

It sucks cause she's caught in the middle here, and not sure what to do. Her boyfriend knows I like her, so that's not new.

And this is why he said... You cant go.

I mean as a guy I can see his point, but at the same time, it's not his decision. It's hers.

I just have the mentality about what ever, and first off, if it was my girl, I dont know why she would tell me, but its like this girl has to tell him everything she does, and needs approval.

It's not like were going to be locked in my room getting it on. It's a dang open house, and I wanted to invite her. I know I like her, but its not like she's the only woman I invited.

All I can do is wait and see if she calls Saturday after work.

My question is, would you as a guy really care, would you get all pissy, let her live her life, or what? Sure it's all about trust, but if he cant trust her, that's his fault. No harm in saying hi, and eating food, and chatting.

I guess he feels threatened.

 

[PhatE1vis]

If you flipped this situation and your girlfriend wanted to go to a party for some guy who liked her, imagine the responses you'd get from the board. Most would give advice about setting boundaries and demanding respect from a girl you're in a relationship with.

It seems like he's doing the same thing with his girl. It's not really a matter of him telling her what she can and can't do, but about setting boundaries within his relationship that he's comfortable with. Having his gf go to a party without him where there's another interested guy that he knows about crosses that boundary for him.

I can't fault him for that. I can't fault you for trying with her either. The decision pretty much lies with her at this point.

 

[connor32]

whats the right way to play it for the boyfriend? if he tells her no he seems insecure and jealous. if he tells her yes the whole night he's gonna be wondering if his gf is getting banged

 

[john paul]

Im always in this situation with my girlfriend.

So far iv never said No you cant go but theres been times when iv wanted to. Guys who I know like her text her and she texts back. Her friends introduce her to some guy from a different school and he gets her number. sh!t like that. and it gets to me after a while. Instead of telling her to stop I fight fire with fire and do the same to her. Flirt with girls infront of her friends so I know she will hear about it later and stuff.

I wouldnt tell my girlfriend no you cant go to your houseparty but I dont blame the guy at all for getting jealous and saying no to it. He might not even be insecure, just tired of guys coming on to someone he loves.


But whats important is you did the right thing by telling her to make her own decision and not let her boyfriend tell her what to do. Nothing else to do really. If she comes then I would call it high interest, if she doesnt then next her because she is staying beside her boyfriend.

 

[lookyoung]

Sounds to me like she is a good girl who has alot of respect for her boyfriend. It sounds like to me your trying to game her and the way your going about it is AFC. I think most woman would be repulsed by your behavior. You don't beg a woman to show up at your graduation. A woman will show up at her own free will.

I think that if she went to your graduation it would be disrespectful to her BF knowing that you have a crush on her. I wouldn't want my GF going so I don't blame him.