I went to a priest the other day and told him that I have some inner demons. He asked if they were telling me to do violent things to people. I said no. He asked if I was thinking about little boys alot, I said no. Have you? He said 'ya sometimes" I told him it was nice talking to you then I left. I decided to go see a doctor. I told him I was having thoughts I cannot control. He asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts or if I was thinking about hurting someone. I told him that it was much worse and that I was actually thinking about a girl all the time. He told me that this is a very serious illness and that I would need to undergo hypnosis immediately before the disease progressed any further. He then started dangling his ball sack in front of my eyes saying
you are getting sleepy, very sleepy, when my balls touch your chin you will be sound asleep.
When I awoke,
the doctor was laying on top of me stroking my chest hair between his fingers. He said that I was now cured. I asked him if I needed any medication and he prescribed me some valtrex and I was on my way.
The next day, the thoughts were back and I was feeling very distraut. If the doctor cant cure me, nobody can, I said. Depressed, I lie on the couch and started stroking my manhood. I come its no big deal.
Suddenly, I noticed I was thinking about owning a yellow and black charger down at my local dealer, this particular one has a 5.7 litter hemi, turns about 350 horsepower at the rear, and is reasonably priced at a modest 29.5. I realized I had just experienced a truly miraculous event- I was starting to think like normal again! I was cured! But how could this be? I didnt do anything. What the hell did I do, I thought to myself. It was at this very moment that I realized how something so simple could cure my complex and sometimes devastating disease of Oneitis. Why did I never listen to all the people telling me that I would go blind if I masturbated too much? It was true, I too was now blind, for I could see no more oneitis in sight! Albeit temporarily, but nothing good lasts forever.
You too must get a hold on this beast. You must harness its power and channel it out ward, unleashing the fury onto a sheet or preferrably a kleenex. Confront your monster head on and realize why this demon is talking to you in the first place. What will the monster ultimately do to you? You are giving your demon way too much credit, for it is weak, and you are only scared of its physical exterior, for you do not know what lies within. You shall never be afraid of your thoughts again, for God gave you the power to spew and splurge your way to freedom.
Do not ever forget this my son.
you are getting sleepy, very sleepy, when my balls touch your chin you will be sound asleep.
When I awoke,
the doctor was laying on top of me stroking my chest hair between his fingers. He said that I was now cured. I asked him if I needed any medication and he prescribed me some valtrex and I was on my way.
The next day, the thoughts were back and I was feeling very distraut. If the doctor cant cure me, nobody can, I said. Depressed, I lie on the couch and started stroking my manhood. I come its no big deal.
Suddenly, I noticed I was thinking about owning a yellow and black charger down at my local dealer, this particular one has a 5.7 litter hemi, turns about 350 horsepower at the rear, and is reasonably priced at a modest 29.5. I realized I had just experienced a truly miraculous event- I was starting to think like normal again! I was cured! But how could this be? I didnt do anything. What the hell did I do, I thought to myself. It was at this very moment that I realized how something so simple could cure my complex and sometimes devastating disease of Oneitis. Why did I never listen to all the people telling me that I would go blind if I masturbated too much? It was true, I too was now blind, for I could see no more oneitis in sight! Albeit temporarily, but nothing good lasts forever.
You too must get a hold on this beast. You must harness its power and channel it out ward, unleashing the fury onto a sheet or preferrably a kleenex. Confront your monster head on and realize why this demon is talking to you in the first place. What will the monster ultimately do to you? You are giving your demon way too much credit, for it is weak, and you are only scared of its physical exterior, for you do not know what lies within. You shall never be afraid of your thoughts again, for God gave you the power to spew and splurge your way to freedom.
Do not ever forget this my son.