Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
You know what I find weird? Love.
- Thread starter Atom Smasher
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
How do you reconcile that with your signature?Megaman XIV said:
zekko
Master Don Juan
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Amish communities, perhaps?taiyuu_otoko said:
I think it's too skeptical to say there is no such thing as love. It doesn't have to be a hearts and flowers, beta down on one knee type of thing. Real love is like family and friends. Even married couples go through different phases. There may be romantic love initially, but once the novelty wears off, it becomes more of a genuinely caring about the other person's wellbeing type of feeling. Again, that's like family.
You know there are old people whose spouse dies and they are so grief stricken at the loss they die shortly thereafter. Real love may be getting rarer in the present poisoned climate, but it still exists. Even if no one on the planet loved anyone anymore, it would still be a real thing. The possibility is there, it has existed, it can exist again.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
"I believe or at least agree with samspades post the most of all in the sense that there are 2 different types of love and I believe that most guy's hangup is that when they think of love they think of unconditional love
the love my wife has for our son, and the love that my wife has for me, are 2 different types of love. there is nothing that my son can do that my wife would not still think my son is the most important thing on this earth to her.
The problem is that, men want a woman to feel that way about them and the turth is there is never going to be atime where a man is loved unconditionally by his wife. And the truth is, in reality there never WAS a time when this occurred.
Conditional love is "i am head over heels for the guy you are AT THIS VERY MOMENT. THIS FUNNY / GOOD LOOKING / AMBITIOUS GUY WHO MAKES ME THINK NAUGHTY THOUGHTS WHEN I LOOK AT HIM" but you know what if you stop being that guy, she will not necessarily love the guy you become. That'st he same way I feel about my wife I'm crazy about the woman she is. But fi she stopped being who she is, rather she put on too much weight or started being really ****y all the time i'd probably still care about her but i wouldn't necessarily be IN love with her. What really got me with my wife is as corny as this sounds is her personality; she's so bubbly and upbeat and always happy. she's a very warm and loving person. I love that about her. If she stopped being warm and started being a ***** all the time you know what, that's not what i signed up for. But on the other hand, if my son started being just the son from hell and started acting out everyday and grew up to be a total loser, it's still her son. nothing will ever change that.
Once you understand that love, the kinda love we are talking about is very much conditional, and stop debating about it and just accecpt the **** for what it is and understand that it is the way it is beucase that's exactly how it's supposed to be, your life will be so much more peaceful and easier. Thigns are EXACTLY the way they are supposed to be right now.
To say "love" doesn't exist sounds like someone who deals with nothing but lower quality women or someone who is jsut extremely scorned. Love also has a a very bad connotation like you are doing something wrong.
There is nothing wrong with love. Love is a wonderful thing. I've been single I've spun plates I've not spun plates, i've ****ed dimes and being in love, with a woman worth loving who loves you back just as equally trumps it all and it's not even close. But the cavet is just that; falling in love just for the sake of being with someone is not the same as falling in love with a woman who is actually worth your love.
At the end of the day it's really a mind fvck worrying about shemetics like this. I've found that men have the capability to pretty much think themselves out of any situation. At the end of the day just shut up and dance dammit lol let the tape play out like it's supposed to play out and see where you end up.
the love my wife has for our son, and the love that my wife has for me, are 2 different types of love. there is nothing that my son can do that my wife would not still think my son is the most important thing on this earth to her.
The problem is that, men want a woman to feel that way about them and the turth is there is never going to be atime where a man is loved unconditionally by his wife. And the truth is, in reality there never WAS a time when this occurred.
Conditional love is "i am head over heels for the guy you are AT THIS VERY MOMENT. THIS FUNNY / GOOD LOOKING / AMBITIOUS GUY WHO MAKES ME THINK NAUGHTY THOUGHTS WHEN I LOOK AT HIM" but you know what if you stop being that guy, she will not necessarily love the guy you become. That'st he same way I feel about my wife I'm crazy about the woman she is. But fi she stopped being who she is, rather she put on too much weight or started being really ****y all the time i'd probably still care about her but i wouldn't necessarily be IN love with her. What really got me with my wife is as corny as this sounds is her personality; she's so bubbly and upbeat and always happy. she's a very warm and loving person. I love that about her. If she stopped being warm and started being a ***** all the time you know what, that's not what i signed up for. But on the other hand, if my son started being just the son from hell and started acting out everyday and grew up to be a total loser, it's still her son. nothing will ever change that.
Once you understand that love, the kinda love we are talking about is very much conditional, and stop debating about it and just accecpt the **** for what it is and understand that it is the way it is beucase that's exactly how it's supposed to be, your life will be so much more peaceful and easier. Thigns are EXACTLY the way they are supposed to be right now.
To say "love" doesn't exist sounds like someone who deals with nothing but lower quality women or someone who is jsut extremely scorned. Love also has a a very bad connotation like you are doing something wrong.
There is nothing wrong with love. Love is a wonderful thing. I've been single I've spun plates I've not spun plates, i've ****ed dimes and being in love, with a woman worth loving who loves you back just as equally trumps it all and it's not even close. But the cavet is just that; falling in love just for the sake of being with someone is not the same as falling in love with a woman who is actually worth your love.
At the end of the day it's really a mind fvck worrying about shemetics like this. I've found that men have the capability to pretty much think themselves out of any situation. At the end of the day just shut up and dance dammit lol let the tape play out like it's supposed to play out and see where you end up.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
I think that the capacity love is hard-wired into us. I believe it goes beyond "I love how you make me feel", although that's a part of it.
I perceive that love is an internal gateway that opens up, allowing someone into your deeper psyche. I don't think we have a lot of control over that. Of course in our community it translates into "oneitis" and is frowned upon.
My belief is that women have become so brainwashed by the media that they have a vastly decreased capacity to love (they worship themselves, their emotions and their "herd" above all else), and we men are forced to curtail our love (oneitis) in order to survive this male/female game. That is our reality, and it is not our preference.
Of course there are a lot of guys on here who are just out to score as much p as possible, but most who do eventually find this is an exercise in dissipation. I believe our Creator wired love into us in order to maintain societal order (a society based on a healthy family is strong) and to perpetuate the species, but the artifice of today's world has systematically destroyed mankind's ability to start and maintain a healthy family.
In essence, it's all over, folks. We are devolving into a loveless, "I, Me, Mine" society and women have turned themselves into toys, good only for a man's brief satisfaction and ego-boost. They provide sex and some affection, and the rest is composed of annoyances and drama, massive irritations we must tolerate. There probably exists a tiny percentage who do not fit this mold, but I see that no woman is untouched by radical feminism.
When you take a step back to look at the big picture, how bizarre is it that sites like SS even need to exist, and that a man must maintain "game" even throughout his marriage? Instead of men just being men (a lost and forgotten art just like architectural stone carving or any other), and women being content to be women, we have had to come out with techniques and contrivances in order to survive and overcome.
None of this is news, I realize that. These are just musings about the current state of the union. There's no crying over spilled milk. It is what it is, and we have no choice but to deal with it as we do.
The current tendencies we see today have been in effect since the first man and woman, but they were held in check by societal standards and a general consensus on morality that doesn't exist today. We have allowed ourselves to become debased, and all emotional appeal is to the lowest common denominator.
The fix? I see two potentials. One, total nuclear war. An all-out massive exchange would hit women's reset button very handily. No more jobs, no more posturing, just an attitude adjustment in order to survive. Be a woman or die.
Secondly, men breaking their addiction to pvssy. We need a critical mass of men to develop that will finally put up men's collective hand and say, "enough!". Many of us here are simply dancing monkeys, doing what's necessary to score. Women are molding such men like a potter molds her clay. These men are conforming to women's expectations for a quick little sense of power when they finally score. Then it's on to the next dance.
It is within the spirit of man to dominate and set the frame. Until we do so collectively, we will be dealing with this mess. This is similar to a family where bratty, undisciplined and disrespectful children are allowed to run the household. The parents are just to self-absorbed to care, and afraid to alienate their children. We must not be afraid to alienate the "children".
I am gratified to see that men's awareness is growing and the light is being turned on. If my guess is correct, since man's natural place is to dominate and rule, eventually over several generations there is a potential for restoration, at least in a viable sub-culture that exists alongside that which exists today. What I love about sites like this is that there are thousands of lurkers who are being made aware. I see lots of comments by men on YouTube, Chateau Heartiste, et. al. who have woken up and seen the light, and I can only hope that the wave continues to grow. I believe that there is at least a good potential for normalization of genders, because nature ALWAYS wins in the end.
I perceive that love is an internal gateway that opens up, allowing someone into your deeper psyche. I don't think we have a lot of control over that. Of course in our community it translates into "oneitis" and is frowned upon.
My belief is that women have become so brainwashed by the media that they have a vastly decreased capacity to love (they worship themselves, their emotions and their "herd" above all else), and we men are forced to curtail our love (oneitis) in order to survive this male/female game. That is our reality, and it is not our preference.
Of course there are a lot of guys on here who are just out to score as much p as possible, but most who do eventually find this is an exercise in dissipation. I believe our Creator wired love into us in order to maintain societal order (a society based on a healthy family is strong) and to perpetuate the species, but the artifice of today's world has systematically destroyed mankind's ability to start and maintain a healthy family.
In essence, it's all over, folks. We are devolving into a loveless, "I, Me, Mine" society and women have turned themselves into toys, good only for a man's brief satisfaction and ego-boost. They provide sex and some affection, and the rest is composed of annoyances and drama, massive irritations we must tolerate. There probably exists a tiny percentage who do not fit this mold, but I see that no woman is untouched by radical feminism.
When you take a step back to look at the big picture, how bizarre is it that sites like SS even need to exist, and that a man must maintain "game" even throughout his marriage? Instead of men just being men (a lost and forgotten art just like architectural stone carving or any other), and women being content to be women, we have had to come out with techniques and contrivances in order to survive and overcome.
None of this is news, I realize that. These are just musings about the current state of the union. There's no crying over spilled milk. It is what it is, and we have no choice but to deal with it as we do.
The current tendencies we see today have been in effect since the first man and woman, but they were held in check by societal standards and a general consensus on morality that doesn't exist today. We have allowed ourselves to become debased, and all emotional appeal is to the lowest common denominator.
The fix? I see two potentials. One, total nuclear war. An all-out massive exchange would hit women's reset button very handily. No more jobs, no more posturing, just an attitude adjustment in order to survive. Be a woman or die.
Secondly, men breaking their addiction to pvssy. We need a critical mass of men to develop that will finally put up men's collective hand and say, "enough!". Many of us here are simply dancing monkeys, doing what's necessary to score. Women are molding such men like a potter molds her clay. These men are conforming to women's expectations for a quick little sense of power when they finally score. Then it's on to the next dance.
It is within the spirit of man to dominate and set the frame. Until we do so collectively, we will be dealing with this mess. This is similar to a family where bratty, undisciplined and disrespectful children are allowed to run the household. The parents are just to self-absorbed to care, and afraid to alienate their children. We must not be afraid to alienate the "children".
I am gratified to see that men's awareness is growing and the light is being turned on. If my guess is correct, since man's natural place is to dominate and rule, eventually over several generations there is a potential for restoration, at least in a viable sub-culture that exists alongside that which exists today. What I love about sites like this is that there are thousands of lurkers who are being made aware. I see lots of comments by men on YouTube, Chateau Heartiste, et. al. who have woken up and seen the light, and I can only hope that the wave continues to grow. I believe that there is at least a good potential for normalization of genders, because nature ALWAYS wins in the end.
Colossus
Master Don Juan
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- Jan 22, 2005
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I think there are different kinds of love.
"Oneitis" is a synonym for irrational, unrequited love. It's an illogical obsession with the idea that only ONE person can truly be right for you.
There is brotherly love, like the love you have for your best friends. Perhaps one of the noblest forms of love.
There is parental love, which is for most people unconditional. It is not dependent on performance.
There is companionate love, the way an elderly couple may love each other or the way you love your dog.
There is passionate love, which is intense but also labile and primarily physical. This fades inevitably with time.
In my opinion the best relationships begin with passionate love and gradually develop into more companionate love. Passionate love can only reliably sustain a relationship about 4 years, according to the most recent data. After that, you really need to like the person. Of course there may be some passionate love but it's much more slow-burning than it was in the beginning. The problem with most western couples is that once the passionate love burns out, they quit. They discover they either just dont genuinely LIKE the other person or the lack of intensity is just too boring for them, and they quit.
But romantic relationships, regardless of the premise, will always be conditional. That's just a fact of life. Your love for each other is predicated on respect and meeting certain needs and expectations.
"Oneitis" is a synonym for irrational, unrequited love. It's an illogical obsession with the idea that only ONE person can truly be right for you.
There is brotherly love, like the love you have for your best friends. Perhaps one of the noblest forms of love.
There is parental love, which is for most people unconditional. It is not dependent on performance.
There is companionate love, the way an elderly couple may love each other or the way you love your dog.
There is passionate love, which is intense but also labile and primarily physical. This fades inevitably with time.
In my opinion the best relationships begin with passionate love and gradually develop into more companionate love. Passionate love can only reliably sustain a relationship about 4 years, according to the most recent data. After that, you really need to like the person. Of course there may be some passionate love but it's much more slow-burning than it was in the beginning. The problem with most western couples is that once the passionate love burns out, they quit. They discover they either just dont genuinely LIKE the other person or the lack of intensity is just too boring for them, and they quit.
But romantic relationships, regardless of the premise, will always be conditional. That's just a fact of life. Your love for each other is predicated on respect and meeting certain needs and expectations.
Boilermaker
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 3, 2010
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- 1,332
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Love and get fvcked,
fvck and get loved ...
sums it all.
fvck and get loved ...
sums it all.
Is this a Manosphere's "Love" week or something?
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/the-most-dangerous-word-love
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/the-most-dangerous-word-love
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
PlayHer Man
Banned
I believe there is a lot of truth in this. Marriage and long-term relationships are a social construct that goes against the natural nature of man. Of course you can say this about lots of modern society.. toilets, computers, cars, etc.bukowski_merit said:
But the human body is not really designed to live past your 40's give or take. Female menopause is proof of this. The age of menopause is the age a person is supposed to be dead. According to nature.. reproduction is the only purpose of life. Once you can't do that.. there is no reason for you to be alive. Historically, men outlived women significantly.
Humans are not designed to bond to each other for decades. They are meant to bond long enough to reproduce and raise offspring to an age of self-reliance (which is a lot younger than 18).
100 years of advanced technology, new laws and social trends won't change millions of years of biological programming. The human animal has not "caught up" to the new world it lives in (or even its own brain). This is why people are more miserable now than ever.
