I've been dating this 34 yr old HB8. We've gone out 4 times (3 hour dates) and tomorrow is going to be #5. I always de-rate a girl's interest, but she's pretty interested in me IMO (touches me, kissed me, emails me, consistent, passes the "doc love rules" etc.) She's LTR material. My question is, 1) should I buy her a xmas gift and 2) what type of gift should I buy her? I'm concerned that I'll show up tomorrow with nothing and she'll have something or vice versa. One thing I don't want to do is freak her out, LOL, you know the "hidden message behind a gift" crap. I was thinking about buying her a small xmas teddy bear, and a "wrapped" $25 dollar gift certificate to her favorite girly-girl shop that she loves inside a xmas bag. Sounds AFC just typing this but am I okay with something like this? Thanks in advance, I only have today to go out and buy something so any help is really appreciated.
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Xmas gift after 4 dates?
- Thread starter RedGTP
- Start date
its only AFC if you are giving it with an alterior motive in mind.
last time i checked there was nothing wrong with giving someone a gift.
Compliments and kisses are more intimate than a gift.
dont give a gift certificate. thats like giving someone money - its lame and lacks insight. it says "I couldn't think of what to get you so I just played it safe and got you money". haha.
f*ck the teddy bear also, its lame and conventional. every guy in the world gets their girl that sh*t.
get her something that has something to do with a conversation you guys have had. it doens't have to be a spectacular gift.
all you are doing with this gift is letting her know that you were listenign to the thigns she said. You aren't going for the "WOW OMG YOU ARE SO ROMANTIC" type of gift here (its only been 4 dates).
you are going for the "wow, this guy was really listening to me and he remembered what i said. that is so considerate."
now, if your conversations haven't been deep enough that you know something about her that would relate to a gift, then go with this second alternative....
get her somethign that is either funny, or relates to kids, and it can be both.
like give her some bubble bath set that is for 6 year old kids. she'll probably laugh her *ass off at it and you can say "i thought it was cute so i bought it."
the subconscious thing you are doing here though is sparking her biological urges to have kids. it's like lightening the fuse on the LTR bomb - IF that's what you are looking for. because deep down she will be thinking "God, i so wish i had kids that I could use this gift with." You are also giving her permission to start letting those emotions bubble to the surface (most women repress them because they think the moment a guy catches a wiff of them they will bolt for the door).
meanwhile, you just play it off like it was joke type of gift - which still has a practical purpose of create bubbles in the bath.
just don't give her traditional bullsh*t gifts. it screams "hey, hook up with me nad in 10 years ill be giving you a toaster"
:crackup:
last time i checked there was nothing wrong with giving someone a gift.
Compliments and kisses are more intimate than a gift.
dont give a gift certificate. thats like giving someone money - its lame and lacks insight. it says "I couldn't think of what to get you so I just played it safe and got you money". haha.
f*ck the teddy bear also, its lame and conventional. every guy in the world gets their girl that sh*t.
get her something that has something to do with a conversation you guys have had. it doens't have to be a spectacular gift.
all you are doing with this gift is letting her know that you were listenign to the thigns she said. You aren't going for the "WOW OMG YOU ARE SO ROMANTIC" type of gift here (its only been 4 dates).
you are going for the "wow, this guy was really listening to me and he remembered what i said. that is so considerate."
now, if your conversations haven't been deep enough that you know something about her that would relate to a gift, then go with this second alternative....
get her somethign that is either funny, or relates to kids, and it can be both.
like give her some bubble bath set that is for 6 year old kids. she'll probably laugh her *ass off at it and you can say "i thought it was cute so i bought it."
the subconscious thing you are doing here though is sparking her biological urges to have kids. it's like lightening the fuse on the LTR bomb - IF that's what you are looking for. because deep down she will be thinking "God, i so wish i had kids that I could use this gift with." You are also giving her permission to start letting those emotions bubble to the surface (most women repress them because they think the moment a guy catches a wiff of them they will bolt for the door).
meanwhile, you just play it off like it was joke type of gift - which still has a practical purpose of create bubbles in the bath.
just don't give her traditional bullsh*t gifts. it screams "hey, hook up with me nad in 10 years ill be giving you a toaster"
:crackup:
Thanks for the reply, joekerr. Your logic about buying something considerate was the path I was leaning towards. I'm just not creative enough with gifts. I don't even know what to buy my parents, LOL. Buzzwords: She likes books, dining, ocean related stuff (we went to an aquarium) and a particular girly-girl shop which is why I thought about buying the certificate since the other stuff seemed "ungiftable" and dull. But I'm with you on that one, I hate gift certificates. It IS like giving cash. I guess I have to use my brain on this one, LOL. Thanks for the advice.
go to the book store and get a photo book on oceans stuff.
they will either have one on whales/dolphins. OR they will have one on scenic scenes, such as various beaches and coasts.
if you get the whales one she'll put it on the coffee table and it will continually remind you of the great time she had at the acquarium with you.
if you get the beaches and coasts one, she'll leave it on the coffee table and think about one day how the two of you will enjoy some vacation to together at one of them.
either way, that book will do more to get her juices flowing that 10 dates with you - because it will be constantly reminding her of you.
also, just to be clear (in case you dont know) photo books are usually this big *ss books that have nothing in them but photos. they usually run 40 bucks or so.
there you go, problem solved.
now what are you getting me for christmas?
J
they will either have one on whales/dolphins. OR they will have one on scenic scenes, such as various beaches and coasts.
if you get the whales one she'll put it on the coffee table and it will continually remind you of the great time she had at the acquarium with you.
if you get the beaches and coasts one, she'll leave it on the coffee table and think about one day how the two of you will enjoy some vacation to together at one of them.
either way, that book will do more to get her juices flowing that 10 dates with you - because it will be constantly reminding her of you.
also, just to be clear (in case you dont know) photo books are usually this big *ss books that have nothing in them but photos. they usually run 40 bucks or so.
there you go, problem solved.
now what are you getting me for christmas?
J
Amazing! That photobook idea was actually what I originally had in mind but I decided to drop it since the last date we had last Sunday was a trip to the bookstore and then a movie afterwards. The reason I dropped the idea was because we had just been there and if I bought her a book like that I assumed she'd feel like it's no surprise since we were already at a bookstore looking at some travel books that had scenic stuff in them. We talked about xmas presents for family members and how she'd be fine with just a book cuz she's that easy to please. She loves to travel and loves the ocean, so I guess this is the way to go. I just needed someone to verify it, LOL. Let's see, since you helped out I'll try to find 2 HB9.9999 bisexuals and send them your way 
. haha
. haha
I kind of thought your gift idea was lovey-dovey and sweet! hahhaa
Gift certificates are okay, as long as you mix it with something that has some thought into it.
joekerr31's ideas are very good. That will likely be well received. It's the amount of thought that counts, and one that reminds her of you is a definite plus.
Gift certificates are okay, as long as you mix it with something that has some thought into it.
joekerr31's ideas are very good. That will likely be well received. It's the amount of thought that counts, and one that reminds her of you is a definite plus.
gift certificates suck. haha. sorry, i just believe in never ever ever giving a gift certificate.
it just screams "I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU BEYOND A VERY GENERAL SENSE AND IM WORRIED THAT YOU WONT LIKE WHAT I GIVE YOU SO WHY DONT YOU JUST GO PICK OUT SOMETHING YOU LIKE."
it screams insecurity and blandness. remember, women dont want practical, what they want is think that you cared enough about them to put some thought into what you got them - if you can toss in some humor and courage you're golden.
actually, let's do the best of both worlds. here is what he should do.
go get 5 bucks in McDonalds gift certificates. give them to her as a gift. when she reactes with "ummmm, oh, thank you" look at her like you can't believe she doesn't think this is the best present in the world.
then act slightly upset and take hte certificates back. then go get the real present and say to her "You know, I think it's a little early for me to be giving you such a great gift like those certificates. so you can have this instead." then give her the thoughtful gift.
now you're mixing sensitive with humor. You're guaranteed to get laid any time you want after that. plus, you've shown that you can be spontaneous, thoughtful, funny, mysterious, unpredictable, all in one fell swoop. she'll be telling all her friends about what you did, which will just sink her ever more madly in love with you.
what you've just done is show her "see, this is what a sh*tty guy would give you. and there are plenty of those in the world" (coupons) and now "this is what a great guy gives you" (thoughtful gift)
man, i dont know why guys have such a hard time with this sh*t. gifts and women is like playign t-ball, you gotta be retarded to screw it up.
:crackup:
it just screams "I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU BEYOND A VERY GENERAL SENSE AND IM WORRIED THAT YOU WONT LIKE WHAT I GIVE YOU SO WHY DONT YOU JUST GO PICK OUT SOMETHING YOU LIKE."
it screams insecurity and blandness. remember, women dont want practical, what they want is think that you cared enough about them to put some thought into what you got them - if you can toss in some humor and courage you're golden.
actually, let's do the best of both worlds. here is what he should do.
go get 5 bucks in McDonalds gift certificates. give them to her as a gift. when she reactes with "ummmm, oh, thank you" look at her like you can't believe she doesn't think this is the best present in the world.
then act slightly upset and take hte certificates back. then go get the real present and say to her "You know, I think it's a little early for me to be giving you such a great gift like those certificates. so you can have this instead." then give her the thoughtful gift.
now you're mixing sensitive with humor. You're guaranteed to get laid any time you want after that. plus, you've shown that you can be spontaneous, thoughtful, funny, mysterious, unpredictable, all in one fell swoop. she'll be telling all her friends about what you did, which will just sink her ever more madly in love with you.
what you've just done is show her "see, this is what a sh*tty guy would give you. and there are plenty of those in the world" (coupons) and now "this is what a great guy gives you" (thoughtful gift)
man, i dont know why guys have such a hard time with this sh*t. gifts and women is like playign t-ball, you gotta be retarded to screw it up.
:crackup:
KarmaSutra
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Get something that would benefit both of you. Condoms.
The more you buy the more she'll want.
The more you buy the more she'll want.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=nH2MUzjCho&isbn=0760759677&itm=2
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=nH2MUzjCho&isbn=0757300596&itm=5
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=nH2MUzjCho&isbn=0936399511&itm=7
hope some of these are good.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=nH2MUzjCho&isbn=0757300596&itm=5
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=nH2MUzjCho&isbn=0936399511&itm=7
hope some of these are good.
date#5 update
If anyone is gonna read this, here's the update to this. I went to all the barnes and nobles in my area and couldn't find an ocean/scenic book that was good enough. But I did find a calendar book for 13 bucks with pictures of scenic areas/baby animals and penguins (she loves penguins.) It has a combination of scenery, ocean animals and baby animals.
I basically used joekerr's idea of "sparking her biological urges to have kids" with the baby animal pix and the penguins as something that she uniquely loves, combined with scenery and a book she can use daily to remind her of me (am I a selfish bastid? LOL.)
We went to lunch, (she paid for it) and then I surprised her with this gift. She absolutely loved it and said she's wanted a calendar book. She didn't get me anything but she paid for lunch which cost more so for me that's even. LOL. Thanks everyone for the inputs.
PS penkitten, thanks for the links. I wish I could've found those books you suggested cuz those were the types I was looking for but I couldn't find any.
If anyone is gonna read this, here's the update to this. I went to all the barnes and nobles in my area and couldn't find an ocean/scenic book that was good enough. But I did find a calendar book for 13 bucks with pictures of scenic areas/baby animals and penguins (she loves penguins.) It has a combination of scenery, ocean animals and baby animals.
I basically used joekerr's idea of "sparking her biological urges to have kids" with the baby animal pix and the penguins as something that she uniquely loves, combined with scenery and a book she can use daily to remind her of me (am I a selfish bastid? LOL.)
We went to lunch, (she paid for it) and then I surprised her with this gift. She absolutely loved it and said she's wanted a calendar book. She didn't get me anything but she paid for lunch which cost more so for me that's even. LOL. Thanks everyone for the inputs.
PS penkitten, thanks for the links. I wish I could've found those books you suggested cuz those were the types I was looking for but I couldn't find any.
MightyMate
Master Don Juan
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No gift after 4 dates.
a 13 dollar gift after 4 dates, given the time of year, is fine. well, lunch makes 5 dates.
the big mistake guys make after giving a gift is they start to want something in return. give because you want to give, not becuase you want something in return. if you do that, she will see the gift as genuine and will love you for it. don't do that and she will see the gift as a manipulation ploy to get in her pants.
as for the calendar, good thinking man. thats even better than the picture book.
she'll have that calendar up and looking at it all the time, constantly reminder her of you. and every time she looks at it hte animals will give her warm and fuzzy feelings, and she will think of you.
master move my friend. you've got smooth sailing ahead of you with decisions like that.
keep up the good work.
J
the big mistake guys make after giving a gift is they start to want something in return. give because you want to give, not becuase you want something in return. if you do that, she will see the gift as genuine and will love you for it. don't do that and she will see the gift as a manipulation ploy to get in her pants.
as for the calendar, good thinking man. thats even better than the picture book.
she'll have that calendar up and looking at it all the time, constantly reminder her of you. and every time she looks at it hte animals will give her warm and fuzzy feelings, and she will think of you.
master move my friend. you've got smooth sailing ahead of you with decisions like that.
keep up the good work.
J
penkitten
Master Don Juan
i was gonna look for a calendar in the links and then i thought you meant just books.
good job.
good job.
I'm in the exact same boat. Just had date number four with this very cool girl.
I agree, don't buy anything expensive.
Buy something that says you were paying attention.
I decided to make a little gift bag, I got all the items in a couple different stores, even some stuff at target. I threw some crumpley wrapping stuff in there, and it turned out really good and she loved it.
We went out for drinks the one night, and she likes rum and cokes, so I got her this rum filled chocolate from target (4 bucks)
We are both big green tea fans, so I got her a green tea candle at old navy, and this gourmet green tea at the liquor/gourmet store when i was in there earlier in the week.
We are both really big jason mraz fans, so I special ordered one of his rare live cd's and put that in the bag, wrapping it seperately of course.
And finally, I got her these fuzzy pink slippers at old navy.
Chics dig meaningful stuff like this, and it doesn't have to cost alot of money.
I agree, don't buy anything expensive.
Buy something that says you were paying attention.
I decided to make a little gift bag, I got all the items in a couple different stores, even some stuff at target. I threw some crumpley wrapping stuff in there, and it turned out really good and she loved it.
We went out for drinks the one night, and she likes rum and cokes, so I got her this rum filled chocolate from target (4 bucks)
We are both big green tea fans, so I got her a green tea candle at old navy, and this gourmet green tea at the liquor/gourmet store when i was in there earlier in the week.
We are both really big jason mraz fans, so I special ordered one of his rare live cd's and put that in the bag, wrapping it seperately of course.
And finally, I got her these fuzzy pink slippers at old navy.
Chics dig meaningful stuff like this, and it doesn't have to cost alot of money.