Wyd once you take her home

[prophe7]

Hello great people!

I have a newbie type of question. As you already noticed in the title, I'm not sure how to move things forward from going home and building comfort, to lay.

You take the girl home, let's say you have built enough comfort, you watched a movie, laid there together etc.

What you do next to escalate things to sex?

Or let's say you don't have intentions to watch a movie. What do you do after you enter your home?

Thankful for whoever shares some knowledge and experience about this.

••• pt.2 ••• situational story ••• kind of long •••

Normally, I believe that things flow there naturally, but recently this wasn't the case. The reason I'm asking all of this is because me and this girl have been seeing each other for some time now. We've done so many intimate things at my place now, except sex. The closest we got was when she was grinding on me on the sofa. But then she wanted to stop. Now I reminisce that maybe it was hurting because we were with clothes on. But the other time, we were kissing and I wanted to move her to the bedroom, but she didn't want to.

Maybe It was some type of LMR because we'd seen each other only 2-3 times. (not counting our relationship some years ago, where we did have sex 2-3 times) Few days ago we were at my place again, hadn't seen each other for a while and It was great. We talked and vibed, but there weren't situations to "spice things up". I believe she is attracted to me., and we have a long story (first love from childhood type of sh8t).

This girl can take me so high or low (emotionally). I try to control myself and not get attached, but It's a little bit complicated when I don't know where we stand exactly. This lack of sex thing is not normal and she probably feels bad about it, too. We haven't really talked about it. Yesterday, I had a date with another girl - feminine, classy, cute. We haven't talked ever since, because I don't know whether I should give her green lights, or stay loyal to the other one. I'm not a "player" and last time I tried to juggle with 2, kind of lost both (gladly for the short-term only, but still..)

I don't know how to feel about this, honestly. It's not that I'm thirsty for sex, even the opposite (learning Buddhism) but at times I do get horny or fantasise of having sex with her. Is it that there are blocked energies (chakras) which prevent the expression of sexuality (both in her and me)? Is it that I don't have experience with escalating? Is it that just she doesn't really feel it yet? Maybe it's not the right time for it? I don't know. I would appreciate your opinions. And If you read until here, thank you.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I hardly ever try to break LMR, if they wanna **** me, they will. If not, well, try another time (maybe she had her period one time, it happens (but I've had plenty of first time period sex, if they want to, they will)).

Don't commit to a girl you're not getting physical with to an extent. (I've dated strict "no sex before marriage" Christians but they still went down on me)

Buddhism is BS by the way. Good way to get laid, but it just attracts the mentally ill.

 

[prophe7]

@firstbornunicorn

You are right about that If they want to, they will. But also It's man's obligation to lead and move things forward, so I don't know If I do something wrong here.. On the other side I don't want to force things, but prefer that all flows naturally.

We've been physical, but It's still not 100% open.

Bhuddism is not a "good way" to be laid, because the goal there is to have no desires, at all.

Thank you, however for your sharing your opinion.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

@firstbornunicorn
Bhuddism is not a "good way" to be laid, because the goal there is to have no desires, at all.

That's what the guys getting laid due to it say. Pretty much all spiritual leaders do it for the *****. it *really* attracts a certain type of woman.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Hello great people!

I have a newbie type of question. As you already noticed in the title, I'm not sure how to move things forward from going home and building comfort, to lay.

You take the girl home, let's say you have built enough comfort, you watched a movie, laid there together etc.

What you do next to escalate things to sex?

Or let's say you don't have intentions to watch a movie. What do you do after you enter your home?

Thankful for whoever shares some knowledge and experience about this.

••• pt.2 ••• situational story ••• kind of long •••

Normally, I believe that things flow there naturally, but recently this wasn't the case. The reason I'm asking all of this is because me and this girl have been seeing each other for some time now. We've done so many intimate things at my place now, except sex. The closest we got was when she was grinding on me on the sofa. But then she wanted to stop. Now I reminisce that maybe it was hurting because we were with clothes on. But the other time, we were kissing and I wanted to move her to the bedroom, but she didn't want to.

Maybe It was some type of LMR because we'd seen each other only 2-3 times. (not counting our relationship some years ago, where we did have sex 2-3 times) Few days ago we were at my place again, hadn't seen each other for a while and It was great. We talked and vibed, but there weren't situations to "spice things up". I believe she is attracted to me., and we have a long story (first love from childhood type of sh8t).

This girl can take me so high or low (emotionally). I try to control myself and not get attached, but It's a little bit complicated when I don't know where we stand exactly. This lack of sex thing is not normal and she probably feels bad about it, too. We haven't really talked about it. Yesterday, I had a date with another girl - feminine, classy, cute. We haven't talked ever since, because I don't know whether I should give her green lights, or stay loyal to the other one. I'm not a "player" and last time I tried to juggle with 2, kind of lost both (gladly for the short-term only, but still..)

I don't know how to feel about this, honestly. It's not that I'm thirsty for sex, even the opposite (learning Buddhism) but at times I do get horny or fantasise of having sex with her. Is it that there are blocked energies (chakras) which prevent the expression of sexuality (both in her and me)? Is it that I don't have experience with escalating? Is it that just she doesn't really feel it yet? Maybe it's not the right time for it? I don't know. I would appreciate your opinions. And If you read until here, thank you.

The first thing I’d suggest is that you tamp things down with the first girl.It seems that you care at this point a lot more than you should,you appear to care more than she does,which is a bad situation to be in,because then the entire dynamic of the situation will be defined by her.Also keep in mind that you might be seeing everything through rose coloured glasses,because this is a girl you have known since childhood and even dated once.Trust me,all that **** means nothing. You would be better served by exploring your options with the other girl.Have no qualms about this,because it is possible that she is seeing another guy. I don’t think it’s a case of her “not feeling it.”She was feeling it in your past relationship,what changed? You know better because you’re the guy on ground,and it is possible there are variables we are unaware of,but actions speak louder than words.Feeling ashamed of your desires is also the exact opposite of what you should be doing.Why should you?It is what makes you a man.Also,in my experience at least,escalation starts way before you reach your place,or her place.By then it should be a matter of finishing things off,instead of getting things started.Break down the physical barriers early on,stand close to her,touch her,make lots of eye contact and hold it.When the time comes,make known exactly what you want.