Writing a letter?

[italostud]

Hey guys. Alright so I'm in this relationship that been going for about 3 months now. The girl is totally into me. Sex is good, she's told me she loves me etc. We see eachother about 3 or 4 times a week. Now I know it's a dumb idea usually to send a woman a "love" letter. But what if everything is going good? Still a bad idea?

It wouldn't be a complete sapfest, maybe just a few nice lines, like a 1/2 page of written stuff, and like a funny drawing of me and her on the back with funny descriptions and drawings of things that have happened so far. Like say for instance, she peed her pants a little one time, I would (poorly)draw us holding hands and draw a big dark spot on her groin with an arrow pointing to it that says "Pee". Or something like that. You know, keep it light and funny.

Now while I know that C+F is the way to go in real life, what are the pros and cons of sending her a love/funny letter in the mail?

Is it still showing too much interest? Taking away some mystery? What are your thoughts on this?

 

[KontrollerX]

Good intention.

Bad idea.

Don't send it bro.

 

[Mr.Positive]

She's TOLD you she loves you, but what has she done to SHOW you?

Until she starts doing lovey dovey stuff for you, you don't. You are thinking about entering bad territory wayyy to soon.

If she sends you love letters all the time, then you may need to do something romantic.

Burn her a cd with your favorite songs. Let her listen to it and think of you. She will try and decipher each song and each lyric thinking there's some hidden meaning that you are trying to tell her. It works great...

at the right time in a relationship. Too soon and you will get burned big time.

Be forwarned.

 

[jophil28]

Try this -
" I know why you and I are together-we are compatible.
We have the same discernment and wisdom in judging people. By this I mean that you see how wonderful I really am. YOu show your appreciation and gratitude frequently in your actions. I am a lucky guy BUT you are indeed the most fortunate .. XXXX.

 

[italostud]

Alright, looks like it may have been a bad idea. Thx guys. That's kinda what my gut was telling me anyways.

 

[joekerr31]

may just be me but mixed tapes and love letters seem very highschoolish to me. mixed tapes use to mean something when acccess to music was scarce, but today with mp3s people can get whatever music they want, so its really not much of an effort.

buy her some nice roses - it will get you 10x farther than any letter will.

for all women's talk about hwo they want their man to express his feelings, the truth is what they really mean is that they want reassurance that their man wants them.

and ironically, telling a woman how much you want her verbally or in writing makes her OVER confident that you want her and send her in to a state of heightened ego - which usually ends up with her IL going down in your or her busting your balls as she enjoys this new found control over you.

but something like roses says that you care while at the same time establishes a simple behavioral conditioning paradigm - when you treat me well you get a reward.

its kind of like rewarding the dog when he obeys your commands.

 

[WestCoaster]

Do NOT do the roses, trust me, that's a quick relationship killer. The ads are wrong, women dump more guys after flowers than anything. Do NOT do the letter either. I've done both, both backfired.

You'd THINK they'd work, just as you'd THINK that women would appreciate signs of affection and caring. They used to: It was called pre-1960's. Many historical documents are gleaned from the love letters of famous figures. Women used to appreciate that stuff. They rarely do anymore, or they get scared by them because a friend of theirs told them some B.S., or Cosmo magazine told them some B.S.

What you're doing now is right. No letters, no flowers, you're doing fine. If you want to wow her, take her to a great restaurant, excellent movie, long walk afterwards. For some reason if you added flowers or a letter to that mix, women freak out. Joekerr's flowers theory is correct in principle; sadly, the execution of it will backfire and you'll be dumped in no time.

 

[joekerr31]

What you're doing now is right. No letters, no flowers, you're doing fine. If you want to wow her, take her to a great restaurant, excellent movie, long walk afterwards. For some reason if you added flowers or a letter to that mix, women freak out. Joekerr's flowers theory is correct in principle; sadly, the execution of it will backfire and you'll be dumped in no time.

really, even after 3 months?

every time i've done the flower thing it's worked well. but then again, i've also laid the non-AFC groundwork.

 

[WestCoaster]

Judgement call, if he has to do flowers, preferably just two or three, not a freaking dozen red ones. Then again, I live in a heavy women's lib/man-hating area, so it could be different. Most women I know say they love them, but then a couple days they start freaking out. I'd hold off on the flowers for awhile.

 

[Bonhomme]

I've exchanged letters with women and in some cases it raised their IL sky-high, and in other cases lowered or outright killed it.

In general, the funnier the better (without forcing it), unless it's a sympathy card on account of someone dying, or some such (but that's a whole different thing). Let her write the "love letters" to you.

 

[italostud]

Ok, guess I'll just do nothing at all, except what I've been doing all along. Flowers really isn't my style anyways. Maybe I'll save the funny letter for her birthday or something like that and give it to her in a card or something.

 

[WestCoaster]

OK, this sounds corny but it's worked for me: chocolate.

Not boxed Whitman chocolates, but something nice like a couple of truffels that are wrapped. I usually give these to gals I'm dating or want to impress a little more just before they go on a long trip. That way when they eat the chocoate they think of you. Also, scientific study shows chocolate ignites the chemicals of love, no lie.

But like the letter, card, or flowers, it's all in the delivery. Don't give too much (no dozen roses, no mushy letter, no huge box of chocolates). Small, simple, and when you give them do it with a little smirk on your face and a joke, "I thought you might like chocolate, and if you don't, I sure do," (I haven't used that one), or, "I spent my time picking these flowers on the way here." (Again, I'm against the flowers.)

I think it's key that before the woman goes on a trip that she gets some kind of momento to think about you. It doesn't work magic (none of the tips on this board are 100 percent fail-proof), but it's a good idea. A card or flowers out of the blue is a bit much, wait until some occasion.

 

[CF9]

My rule of thumb: I will not say anything in a letter/email/text (that I actually send) that I have not/cannot say to a woman face to face.