Would you dump her if she got fat?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Aztec
...is relative to what women complain about their husbands or boyfriends after they get married or shacked up: men don't do the nice things they used to do.

What, like bring home to them a box of candy? A box of doughnuts? A pound cake? A 5-pound cake? A whole turkey with a side of ham?!!?

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
How do you submit something for the Bible?

This is a good qestion for the mods, they have the power. This post should be in.

 

[ogre]

fat is criteria for dumping. period.

lose the weight or lose me, honey

 

[illmatic20]

here a simple way...Look at the pros and cons of being with her now. If the pros are greater then stay with her if the cons are more then leave her.


Ways to measure:
1. How much does she mean to you?...
2. Can you deal with having a girl who a bit overweight?..
3. Are you happy with the relationship?..

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

'Shallow' and 'Superficial' are exclusive terms that women use for men. Stop thinking like a chick. As I said previously, no one calls a woman 'shallow' when she exclusively selects men with status, wealth, intelligence, humor, sensitivity, looks, and the long list of character traits she deems necessary for her exchange of intimacy - rather they call her 'prudent' or "looking out for her own best interests", and encouraged with "you go girl." Why is a man 'shallow' for recognizing that his primary drive is important enough for him to be concerned with a woman's sexual appeal?

All terminoology like this does is serve women's interests in breeding with the best possible mate regardless of her own physical acceptability while maintaing the highest standards for the male.

I don't care how rich or what wonderful people Star Jones and Oprah are, their respective husbands still need to get aroused and no amount of "loving her inner beauty" is going to give them a hardon.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Rarely do I have the chance to explain men's one condition for intimacy - physical attraction. She's GOT to be hot.

I'm not sure what you mean.

I'd have just sex with a girl for pretty much the only reason of her being hot, but two things.

1. that can't be the only reason to be with her overall for anything but sex.
2. if the only reason i'm with her is sex, then it's not intimacy in my definition.

Could you explain exactly what you meant by intimacy? I mean, women don't always have those list of requirements and i personally project most of those requirements on my women too, though i know look are less important to women than men.

I agree with you and all. Getting fat and ugly is a deal breaker and we shouldn't be thought shallow for that, but your starting premise isn't very clear to me.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

RUCKUS: You're thinking in terms of a relationship. Conditions for intimacy apply before you become involved in an LTR. These are pre-existing criteria each of us have prior to getting involved - we must at least marginally meet individual conditions for intimacy. The term 'intimacy' as I use it, of course, includes sex, this being an obvious indication of intimate acceptance, but it can also cover kissing, passionate affection, etc. that indicates acceptance as well.

Now to cover your points:

Obviously there are more factors involved in maintaining an LTR than sex (mutual respect, love, intellectual and social compatibility, etc.), but again, these are alloted respective priorities in an LTR. Sex is generally the number one priority for men. Would you marry an HB 10 who was a perfect match for you in every respect with the exception that she would never have sex with you? You see, it's easy to say that sex isn't the most important thing to you when you are getting it on fairly regular schedule. It's far eaasier to overlook a person's (male or female) character flaws when you are getting semi-regular sex with them than it is to feel completely affirmed by them when that's the one thing they will not do. Basically when you remove sex from a relationship - either by the woman's choosing or her becoming so physically unattractive that he cannot become aroused - what's in it for the guy? There's no motivational reinforcement to embody her prerequisites for intimacy when he can be absolutely certain that her intimacy will never be reciprocated.

Guy's intrinsically understand this. How frustrating would it be to endure all of the responsibilities an LTR/Marriage with a beautiful woman who simply wasn't sexually accessible? You'd probably never allow yourself to even enter into the circumstance in the first place. Yet even more frustration would be one who once was once accessible and attractive who did find you acceptable for intimacy, but becomes unaccessible.