"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Would appreciate opinions on situation

sikesalt

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I know this is long..but here it is anyway

Some stuff (kinda?) happened between this girl and me a year ago. Afterwards she was REALLY nice and then basically turned her back on me. I thought she had a boyfriend so I didn’t make a move, but I’m not really sure now. I heard her say behind my back once that I “Pretend I she doesn’t exist”. But when I try to be friendly to her she is just kinda *****y.

So our relationship has been kinda odd this year. Basically she went from being really nice to me to just not having anything to do with me. I’ve really tried to treat her nice (althought sometimes I’ve just had enough and left her alone). Sometimes she is really sweet, but other times she will completely give me the cold shoulder, and then sometimes it has almost felt like she was bitter. Sometimes when I see her and she has her arm around a guy or something, she will immediately take her arm away from him. I could go on but you get the picture…more mixed signals

This is where it is now. I made a stupid comment about how I liked her body to her in class (it wasn’t bad). She laughed but seemed again like she was uncomfortable. I didn’t want things to be any worse between us, so I emailed her and apologized (I want to stay on good terms with her because I will be seeing her a lot). I also said that sometimes things seem uncomfortable between us but I don’t mean for them to be. So she sends back an email saying that she was just out of it and thought the comment was funny, just unexpected, and was sorry if she gave a different impression. She also said she knows what I mean and feels like we could be a lot closer.

I didn’t see her for a little while after this because of finals. Then when I do at a party she again avoids me. Doesn’t even look at me, says hello to everyone else etc.

I handled this badly. It would have been best if I had just asked her out a long time ago instead of this. But I didn’t like the way she was acting towards me so I didn’t. I’m trying to decide what if anything to do now. My prime concern has been just to get along with her, but I’m not sure if it is even worth doing that anymore. I do care about her, but it is much harder for me to get along with her than with others.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Jaun_Don

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Originally posted by sikesalt
I know this is long..but here it is anyway

Some stuff (kinda?) happened between this girl and me a year ago. Afterwards she was REALLY nice and then basically turned her back on me. I thought she had a boyfriend so I didn’t make a move, but I’m not really sure now. I heard her say behind my back once that I “Pretend I she doesn’t exist”. But when I try to be friendly to her she is just kinda *****y.

So our relationship has been kinda odd this year. Basically she went from being really nice to me to just not having anything to do with me. I’ve really tried to treat her nice (althought sometimes I’ve just had enough and left her alone). Sometimes she is really sweet, but other times she will completely give me the cold shoulder, and then sometimes it has almost felt like she was bitter. Sometimes when I see her and she has her arm around a guy or something, she will immediately take her arm away from him. I could go on but you get the picture…more mixed signals

This is where it is now. I made a stupid comment about how I liked her body to her in class (it wasn’t bad). She laughed but seemed again like she was uncomfortable. I didn’t want things to be any worse between us, so I emailed her and apologized (I want to stay on good terms with her because I will be seeing her a lot). I also said that sometimes things seem uncomfortable between us but I don’t mean for them to be. So she sends back an email saying that she was just out of it and thought the comment was funny, just unexpected, and was sorry if she gave a different impression. She also said she knows what I mean and feels like we could be a lot closer.

I didn’t see her for a little while after this because of finals. Then when I do at a party she again avoids me. Doesn’t even look at me, says hello to everyone else etc.

I handled this badly. It would have been best if I had just asked her out a long time ago instead of this. But I didn’t like the way she was acting towards me so I didn’t. I’m trying to decide what if anything to do now. My prime concern has been just to get along with her, but I’m not sure if it is even worth doing that anymore. I do care about her, but it is much harder for me to get along with her than with others.

hmmmm...I'm not the best man to give advice here but I will try...personally I think you should just move on and forget about her, if she is ignoring you or giveing you the cold shoulder then that's HER issue not yours, find someone better dude, this girl sounds like she might play games and I would just not bother with her.
 

scordate

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get over the oneitis

forget her; dont go into the:

what if she said / he said

dont analyze anymore

be neutral friendly to her but get other dates NOW

if she then starts something 'real' you decide if you want to dumb you current GF for her, right ! ;-)

/ scordate
 
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