Working the nightclub scene

[Matt Rogers]

Despite spurning the nightclub scene in the past, when I do go to nightclubs quite a few girls generally hit on me and are often quite pretty.

The problem is I often have no idea wtf is going on as they are so loud that you cannot hear a damn thing. Generally a girl comes up to me and starts holding my hands or dancing very near me and looking at me and smiling. Another line that is often used is "My friend likes you" and usually that friend is her.

So I start dancing with them (I am a poor dancer but can just about do the basics-hand on their waist, hold them tight and sort of sway to the music). But then often they break it off and disappear without saying anything, which makes me think they are just being a tease. It is impossible to start a conversation beyond exchanging names, so it is impossible to establish any rapport or flirt with her. I also am never sure how to close on the dancefloor. Is it as simple as giving her one dance or two and then asking for her number?

For an example, the other night I was at a motown club and this pretty girl comes up to me and takes hold of my hands and sways around a bit and smiles from ear to ear while looking at me. She asks me a few questions like where I am from, says I look foreign and asks my name. Then for no apparant reason she just breaks it off, says excuse me and disappears back to her friends. I am like wtf?

Another problem is that I find it impossible to find a regular wingman as most of my friends are not very outgoing and/or not very good looking. I feel selfconscious about being on my own and must look like a bit of a loner. Where can I find good wingmen, and when I do go alone what is the best way to play it?

 

[Don_Marko]

Hey Matt,

You know that like 90 something % of communication is non-verbal right? Therefore you must convey the message of sexual interest and flirt without using too many words! Smile, kino, EC, TONALITY AND SOUND of your voice (this is a huge one in clubs IMO... gotta sound loud and deep)
I also tried that hole dancing game with chicks, however I think it leads to nowhere. I hate rules and generalizations, but if you are going to dance don't make it more than one song, otherwise it gets boring unless you keep on increasing sexuality of the kino, however without a rapport being established you'll get ASD to cckblock you quite often, as she is in front of her social circle. Therefore you gots to isolate, either by the bar but prefferably in the lounge area and work on some rapport. Too much rapport is a bad thing though IMO as girls are there to party and be outgoing so you wanna keep it playful and fun, again with kino and conveying the sexual message. If she's with her friends you ought to try to befriend them as well and get htem to like you, you can ignore the target for a little bit and concentrate on her friends if neccesary in order to get social proof. If you have SP you are virtually guaranteed to number close with a possibility of a ONS if logistics and the stars are aligned so.

Also I face the same problem for relying on wings, good wings are hard to come by and I think it's a great skill to be able to go ina club by yourself and get girls. Therefore in the long run it's defnitely worth the discomfort you may experience.

 

[Seraph]

I don't know if it's just the club I was in (only been to one) but usually on the dance floor trying to use a deep voice and gain good favor with her friends is pointless. The music is too loud and people just want to dance. I know I suck at dancing right now so I wasn't surprised when they pull away after a minute or two, but how long do you good dancers usually have a girl hanging onto you? I'm not talking about the ones you want to isolate and fvck, just the ones you grab when you want to dance. Do they usually leave or do you break it off?

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Seraph
I don't know if it's just the club I was in (only been to one) but usually on the dance floor trying to use a deep voice and gain good favor with her friends is pointless. The music is too loud and people just want to dance. I know I suck at dancing right now so I wasn't surprised when they pull away after a minute or two, but how long do you good dancers usually have a girl hanging onto you? I'm not talking about the ones you want to isolate and fvck, just the ones you grab when you want to dance. Do they usually leave or do you break it off?

IMO you want to use dancing as a tool to isolate, not to try to dance and think you'll get some (generalization alert I've done Kiss Closes and got ONS of dancing alone, but that's not how it works all the time.... comes to calibrating situation and your instinct I guess)

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

The problem with Matt is that you are thinking way to much...If you are going to the club with the intent of picking up girls and youre not really thinking about dancing or having a good time, the experience will be bad...Go to the club and dance by yourself if you have to, loosen up, get some drinks, and dont worry about chicks...When the girls see you having fun instead of standing around and getting upset and counting how many girls you danced with and getting mad about it, they will want to dance with you(That used to be me, lol)...Also, when you are in line, check out the girls and give them eye contact, if they like you like that, they may give you a suprise when they see you in the club...

I don't know if it's just the club I was in (only been to one) but usually on the dance floor trying to use a deep voice and gain good favor with her friends is pointless. The music is too loud and people just want to dance. I know I suck at dancing right now so I wasn't surprised when they pull away after a minute or two, but how long do you good dancers usually have a girl hanging onto you? I'm not talking about the ones you want to isolate and fvck, just the ones you grab when you want to dance. Do they usually leave or do you break it off?

Dont rely on talking in a club...You gotta get good with body language...Walk confident, dance around instead of walking, sh1t like that...But to answer the question, you are counting how many girls you are dancing with and its messing you up...In the club you want to worry about quality, not quantity....You can dance with 10 girls for a long time, but you might not get numbers or anything...There are times where I will dance a little bit and I or the girl will leave, and there are some times where you get straight rejected, dont worry about it, noone is even paying attention to that...Oops, Im getting off topic a little...Most of the times where I had girls dancing with me for a long time the girls were interested in me cause she would try to talk to me or we would get really freaky on the floor and brush of any other dudes trying to cut in...Nothing worse than you grinding with a girl and another dudes tries to get in front...

 

[Le Parisien]

If you REALLY REALLY just want to dance, you DO NOT grab a girl. . You lose a lot of freedom of movement when dancing with a partner.

The longest I danced/grinded with a girl was ONE WHOLE HOUR, that's right, one entire hour, with the same girl!

Actually the circumstances were very special. She was very pretty, and she was a "good girl", she would turn down all the sleazy guys who try to appraoch her. But she was SO attracted to me that she sticked around hoping that I would ask her to dance. I eventually did but I still couldn't believe it: she could have any guy she wanted, so why me? I know I'm a little "pretty boyish", but still, just a little above average...
After some time/rapport I realized she was definitely girl-friend material, the mutual interest was very high. Ha, my lucky day...WRONG! Everything was good except that she's from a town 80miles away and she was just visiting her friend. So the only option I had was just a ONS which simply is not my thing at all...
So the whole time I was dancing with her I was thinking" ONS, no ONS, ONS, no ONS...". eventually I needed to let her go so she could catch the last bus with her friend. But I could tell, the whole time she was just waiting for a "maybe I can get you a cab/ride later" from me. She really waited till the last minute.

I don't really regret it since I'm not a ONS guy and I'm far from being desperate. But at least the whole dance thing with her clearly showed me how the girls with high interest would dance/grind with guys. Trust me, between this and some attentions hos grinding with you for a couple of minutes if not seconds, it's just like the day and the night. It's 100 times more enjoyable.

Anyway, keep on dancing, it's always GOOD.

 

[Seraph]

Well I wasn't really trying to get you to count how many girls you dance with, I just wanted to know the usual amount of time you spend dancing with girls. I understand everyone's point about just going out to have fun, I sort of knew it before hand, but it didn't click until about an hour or so since I walked into the club.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by Seraph
Well I wasn't really trying to get you to count how many girls you dance with, I just wanted to know the usual amount of time you spend dancing with girls.

Depends...If the girl in interested they dance for a good amount of time, some may just dance for one song because they feel like dancing with someone, its really no sweat off their back...