"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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women's reaction to getting approached

warrior1

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I don't know why but i always feel most women do not like getting approached. I feel most of them find it distracting. can you posters specifically tell what's going on in a woman's mind when a man approaches and asks you out assuming
1. you do not find him really attractive
2. you find him decent
3. you find him hot

I know the common answers are going to be something like

1. "When is this guy going to go away"
2. "Okay we can get something to start"
3. Fill in blank

Can the women here go real specific on what your thinking in these 3 situations? I also think i made a mistake with the 2nd option because i read in a thread that woman will see you as hot or not and never in between.

Also, are there any women that would not be flattered if a good looking guy asked her out. Is it always true that women who finds a guy attractive and that guy making the move is always a trait women like right?

I asked myself this question because I sometimes feel there are women who feel they are the best thing in the world and can turn down most good looking guys because they think they are the queen or something.

Comments on this would be appreciated. Thanks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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girl_in_a_boy_forum

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warrior1 said:
1. you do not find him really attractive
2. you find him decent
3. you find him hot
Honestly, it doesn't have that much to do with appearance. For guys, the girl has to be hot, right? For a girl, it's about a hundred things put together, and appearance is only one of those.

A lot of guys on this forum complain that women don't know what they want. This is because women don't have lists of set characteristics that their ideal man must have. She could say she wants a loyal, funny, talkative guy, go out and meet over a hundred guys with these qualities, and choose to not date any of them. "But why?" you ask. "It's exactly what she wanted!" Then you decide that women don't really know what they want.

The truth, however, is that women know exactly what they want. They want a man they can really "click" well with. Even if she meets a guy with many amiable qualities, if she feels that the connection isn't there, she nexts him. I don't know about men, but for women, initial and effortless chemistry is highly important.

True story: I met two guys. One was 6'4", a football player, and extremely attractive. The other was 5'4", a runner, and average. Both had a lot of the same qualities. Which one is my boyfriend? The 5'4" guy. The football player may have been hot and had qualities I was looking for, but conversation was forced, our personalities didn't really bounce off of each other, we didn't click. With my boyfriend, the connection was instant, and the decision a no brainer.

So, in addressing your question as to why many women don't like being approached, I can't speak for all women. But I will speak for myself. I hate being "cold approached".
1. If a guy approaches me on the street, in the bookstore, etc, I know it is ONLY because he finds me attractive. I know it's male nature, but I feel that anybody who'll talk to me just because I have a nice ass isn't worth my time.
2. Most guys who do approaches like this aren't looking for a LTR, which what I'm interested in. I tell them I have a boyfriend (and I do!) and they act like I have no real commitment to him and would gladly leave him for some guy I just met.
3. If I'm trying to go somewhere or have errands to run, some guy hanging off of me trying to make small talk is just plain annoying.
4. Most of this approach-type guys try too hard to be macho, which turns a lot of women off. Many men think that flaunting their sexuality and acting aggressive is manly, but REAL masculinity is the ability to stay calm and take control of a situation when things have gone out of control, emotionally or externally. True masculinity can't really be displayed in a cold approach.
 
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