Women think I'm a slimeball, and this is bothering me.

[MascaraSnake]

Seeing someone right now that's attractive but low quality. I'm very eager to date someone that doesn't reflect poorly on me, and it's just been one disaster after another. (Three plates in a row, to be exact.) I snatch defeat from the jaws of victory every time without fail - the women smell a rat and get of of there.

Last night particularly stung, though. I'd been eyeballing a coworker that I knew liked me for around a year, and I finally asked her out last night. She excitedly threw her number at me and mentioned that her and her friend were seeing a show that night. Since I never like to wait, I showed up with bells on instead of waiting a week.

There wasn't a lot of awkwardness with her friend, but it did keep me from escalating as much as I usually would have. all 3 of us eventually ended up on the dance floor. You can probably guess what happened next. Within 10 minutes I'd begun pawing her and I'd already attempted to kiss her twice. She then chooses to mention her boyfriend and leave with her friend. The boyfriend she'd never brought up until that minute.

How in the hell do I deal with this? It seems like when I want sex, "two steps forward and one step back" is a curse word to me.

 

[DonDiscovery]

problems I can spot after a quick glance thru:

1. you waited how long to ask her out? a year? but maybe this wasnt so much of an issue, obviously I don't know the exact situation.

2. you went out with her and a FRIEND...always an obstacle

3. you may have been too available if you agreed to go out THAT NIGHT

4. On the dance floor, I think you may have been simply too eager, too forceful.

and the boyfriend thing sounds like a lame-ass excuse, unless its genuinely true

 

[Bushmaster]

Nothing slimy about trying to bang early and often. Yeah you should have seen her when she wasn't with her friend. Two steps forward and one step back is still a step forward, so what's the problem?

 

[MascaraSnake]

problems I can spot after a quick glance thru:

1. you waited how long to ask her out? a year? but maybe this wasnt so much of an issue, obviously I don't know the exact situation.

2. you went out with her and a FRIEND...always an obstacle

3. you may have been too available if you agreed to go out THAT NIGHT

4. On the dance floor, I think you may have been simply too eager, too forceful.

and the boyfriend thing sounds like a lame-ass excuse, unless its genuinely true

I'm glad I came on here. My AFC roommate gave me an earful when I walked in last night, and I actually listened to him.

1. We work in a call center type setting, so moving a shift by 30 minutes or increasing it by an hour can mean never seeing that person on breaks for a few months. It would take a few paragraphs to explain, but I feel I did act correctly here.

2. Agreed.

3. No argument here.

4. She actually didn't shrink back, now that I remember through the cloud of gin. It's just that I got no "I'm into this" vibes out of her, and I figured that plowing after that would get me slapped.

5. this girl loves to talk about herself, and she never mentioned a boyfriend once. (Neither did her friend.) so you're right, it may have been invented.

Nothing slimy about trying to bang early and often. Yeah you should have seen her when she wasn't with her friend. Two steps forward and one step back is still a step forward, so what's the problem?

Is being too pushy better than being limp-wristed, though? I did kinda use a sledgehammer to kill a fly.