Women seem to sense my lack of desire to commit

[STR8UP]

It seems like over the past couple of years women have started dealing with me on a different level.

Maybe it's because I give off the vibe from the very beginning that I'm not desperately searching for my future wife, but lately it's almost as if even if a woman is very much interested in me, she will tend to keep her distance.

I know this is counter to what we all generally accept as the rule when it comes to attraction. Up until recently I would have said "If a woman is attracted to you enough, it won't matter. She will pursue you despite knowing that you are basically unattainable".

But the last few women I have dated have caused me to reevaluate my theories on this.

The thing that really made me rethink this issue was a comment made the other day by a girl i met last year. This chick lived 2.5 hrs away, is 14 years younger than I am, still in school, etc. I knew she liked me and all, but it wasn't until the other day that I found out how MUCH she liked me.

Talking to her the other day, she basically told me that one of the reasons she moved out of state was because of ME. She said she really cared about me, and that she eventually realized that I wasn't going to be committing to anyone anytime soon. And she didn't want to be that girl who was practically begging for my affection.

Another chick I dated last year liked me quite a bit from what other people (mainly her best friend) have told me. Yet, the next thing you know i turn around and she's seeing someone else, which was fine, but i think it had a lot to do with the fact that she was looking for a commitment, and she pretty much knew without even asking that she wasn't going to get one from me.

The strange thing about all of this is the fact that I never discussed commitment with any of these women. They automatically assumed (rightfully so) that i have no interest in settling down.

So what are your thoughts on this?

Do you think women have the capacity to keep their emotions in check when they realize that the guy they are interested in has no desire for a commitment?

 

[azanon]

Do you think women have the capacity to keep their emotions in check when they realize that the guy they are interested in has no desire for a commitment?

In my limited experience, no. Some claim they do, but even these do not. I've seen some nice RT writeups on this issue which said something to the effect that women gain my the potential for commitment and security. Deep down, I think that's what they all want.

I have yet to meet a woman completely content by just physical interaction. They always want more than that, but some are willing to temporary put up with that if they think they'll get a commitment of some type later.

But if you allow them to sniff out they could never get a commitment from you, you'll have a tough go at it. Not impossible, but very tough.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The strange thing about all of this is the fact that I never discussed commitment with any of these women. They automatically assumed (rightfully so) that i have no interest in settling down.

Congratulation, you're actually dating like an adult should, non-exclusively. In fact, it's women that are preoccupied with committment that you should avoid.

 

[Cableguy]

Good post STR8UP! I can totally identify with your observations. First, I think attractive women are for the most part used to guys wanting to be in a relationship with them. When a guy comes along and doesn't shower them with attention and phone calls, they can pretty much tell he's not looking to get serious. From my experience, there are a lot of women who will fall madly in love/lust with a guy they can't have. The smart women who've played the game for a while and have their shyt together, will "next" a guy who isn't looking for the same thing they are.

 

[penkitten]

Do you think women have the capacity to keep their emotions in check when they realize that the guy they are interested in has no desire for a commitment?

no, some women get very hurt that they could not be that one and only thing that makes you want to settle down and have a family and yearn for a family lifestyle. it is those women who are scorned.

other women, get very depressed thinking they were not good enough or worthy enough for you to want them like they wanted you and they become depressed with low self esteem and start settling for anyone who does want to be with them no matter if they are compatible or not.

but then there are some women, that are like, "i can see from a mile away that you aren't ready for a relationship, and i am and since i don't want things to end badly, we should just not proceed any further."

then you got some, dumb and naive, that think if they tell you they aren't ready either and play the game of fb and that nothing matters to them, that you will eventually think they are kewl and want them more... and that never works