Woman shows all signs of high interest but seems disinterested when kissing?

[WayTooReal]

I cant say I have ever had this happen before. Been on 2 dates with her so far, first date I thought she was disinterested until the wnd of the date when we got out to her car and I kissed her several times and I grabbed her butt. She texted me immediately after saying she had a great time and thanked me for taking her out. Classic high interest. The next day I texted her in reply and she said she would love to see me again and that she apologized for being so nervous on the date(I guess her nervousness came across as lack of interest to me).

Went on second date yesterday, went to grab some pizza and I forgot my wallet in the car, told her I would be right back in that I left my wallet in the car and I come in and she had already paid...afterwards we take a walk in a park and we are hilding hands and then sit on a bench and I start running my fingers through her hair and she tells me how much she likes it and that it feels good...then go get so ice cream. So I take her back take her back to her car and kiss her goodbye and same as the first time I see her eyes shift to one side like she is looking at something and she seems distracted almost like there are 1000 other things she would rather be doing than kissing me at that moment.

But again this morning I get a text early saying she "hopes I have a great day!" She also told me she thinks i have really petty eyes and it was the first thing she noticed about me in person. She does most of the texting initiating and at time if I'm busy or dont respond for a while will double or triple text me..

I'm probably overanalyzing things because everything else points to high interest but I'm trying to figure out what is going on when i kiss her...why is she looking disinterested/distracted?? Nerves? Uncertainty? Takes longer to warm up? Doesn't like PDA?

Any thoughts on this? Has anyone else had a similar situation?

 

[RangerMIke]

How old is she?

 

[WayTooReal]

How old is she?

38

 

[RangerMIke]

38

Okay... if she is coming off a long relationship her behavior is normal for a woman her age that is interested. She's just nervous. But be careful... you obviously care about this too much for just a second date. You are already losing emotional objectivity. Also she likely knows you are very interested... you should keep on dating other chicks and try not to over think what is going on. Just date... have fun, and let her worry about what it all means.

 

[WayTooReal]

Okay... if she is coming off a long relationship her behavior is normal for a woman her age that is interested. She's just nervous. But be careful... you obviously care about this too much for just a second date. You are already losing emotional objectivity. Also she likely knows you are very interested... you should keep on dating other chicks and try not to over think what is going on. Just date... have fun, and let her worry about what it all means.

I'm the first person she has dated after seperating from her husband who was cheating on her with her best friend...currently going through divorce process with lawyers etc...

I wouldn't say im overly invested I'm just interested in whats going on in her mind while this is happening...

 

[MichaelA]

I cant say I have ever had this happen before. Been on 2 dates with her so far, first date I thought she was disinterested until the wnd of the date when we got out to her car and I kissed her several times and I grabbed her butt. She texted me immediately after saying she had a great time and thanked me for taking her out. Classic high interest. The next day I texted her in reply and she said she would love to see me again and that she apologized for being so nervous on the date(I guess her nervousness came across as lack of interest to me).

Went on second date yesterday, went to grab some pizza and I forgot my wallet in the car, told her I would be right back in that I left my wallet in the car and I come in and she had already paid...afterwards we take a walk in a park and we are hilding hands and then sit on a bench and I start running my fingers through her hair and she tells me how much she likes it and that it feels good...then go get so ice cream. So I take her back take her back to her car and kiss her goodbye and same as the first time I see her eyes shift to one side like she is looking at something and she seems distracted almost like there are 1000 other things she would rather be doing than kissing me at that moment.

But again this morning I get a text early saying she "hopes I have a great day!" She also told me she thinks i have really petty eyes and it was the first thing she noticed about me in person. She does most of the texting initiating and at time if I'm busy or dont respond for a while will double or triple text me..

I'm probably overanalyzing things because everything else points to high interest but I'm trying to figure out what is going on when i kiss her...why is she looking disinterested/distracted?? Nerves? Uncertainty? Takes longer to warm up? Doesn't like PDA?

Any thoughts on this? Has anyone else had a similar situation?

This seems like a woman to me that is not very confident in her own skin and cannot look at you straight in the eyes.

Now the thing is if a woman looks at you in the eyes and at any moment at your lips and then again in your eyes that means she wants to kiss you.

The thing with this situation is that you don't know if she just broke up, if she just wants to have fun, or if she just likes the attention and time with you. All this will appear later on you are too focused and too concern for a second date and you are starting to validating her too much with your actions "if she likes me" "if she wants to kiss me" don't do that.

Next time when you go out try and escalate sex, she is 38, not 20. A sex with her will make her less nervous more open and relaxed.

She is chasing you, that's good make dates and don't text with her on the phone.

Let us know how it went.

 

[MatureDJ]

It is a pretty well known meme that prostitutes typically don't kiss their clients. It's like it's a higher level of intimacy that they don't sell.

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm the first person she has dated after seperating from her husband who was cheating on her with her best friend...currently going through divorce process with lawyers etc.....

That's what I thought. Women going through this are a lot of work. Women are emotional creatures, what she is feeling IS reality. She is still dealing with a lot of cr@p... expect her to be open/flaky, hot/cold, trusting/testing for a period of time depending on how long and committed she was in this relationship.

I know you haven't asked for advice but FWIW, I really wouldn't bother with trying to date her for a couple of years. My guess is that she really isn't ready to start dating. But you should do what you want, just stay focused on what you want and don't get sucked into the emotional world pool. Do not let her talk about her problems... if she starts to talk about her divorce or problems with her ex, just change the subject... just come out and tell her you want to have fun and forget about problems. If she likes you she will follow your lead... if she doesn't you are just being used as an emotional tampon.

 

[sazc]

I once dated a man who was not a "kisser". When we started dating we were kissing, but the kissing trailed off as time went by. I was really confused, especially during sex, because I find kissing during sex to be passionate, and a complete turn on. I would try to initiate kissing during sex and he would not "really" engage or reciprocate. He would kiss back but it was clear from his "involvement" he didn't want deep lingering kisses.

I finally did what a healthy adult should always do, and I asked (gently) what the deal was. He explained that kissing wasn't something he necessarily liked to do, it just wasnt his 'thing'. Then I communicated how I felt, my needs, etc. In the end I was able to respect his feelings and he made more of an effort during sex to kiss me. It was a win win for both of us.

My suggestion for your situation is for you to casually bring up the topic of PDA with her. Find a moment to chat about personal likes and dislikes when it comes to romance. Then bring up the topic of kissing. Ask her if she likes to kiss, listen to her answer. It might reveal information. Hopefully she reciprocates by asking you about kissing, or you can naturally express that you like kissing and find it hit when the other person is engaged in the kissing with you.

You don't have to use those words, but do consider exploring the topic/conversation with her.

In general, we can spin ourselves out trying to figure out what behavior means, but it's always best to ask.

What if both times she thought she had bad breath?

 

[nismo-4]

I hate to break news to you, but you're friendzoned.

Be honest, if you were Dwayne Johnson or Lebron James, do you really think she'd resist kissing you? She'd make sure to kiss you then.

Interest level is only in that moment. You may have bad timing i.e. She likes being around you but doesn't want to ruin potential with Chad, Tyrone, Enrique, or Hiroshi.

For every woman you date, you're competing with multiple guys. Second place is first loser, so you need to come in first. Which can mean anything from the day you approach has to be right, you have to be attractive, you can't cheer for Clemson, etc. etc. Her interest and mindset have to be right, and so does your timing.

Just like she can enjoy your time together, I could have sex with her the next night. I hope you have other options.

 

[Magotrox]

Date her in a private place (ex: your house). Put some selected musics to play. Put the lights in a comfortably way. Serve some food that goes well with a nice wine. Escalate kino. Enjoy!

If things goes wrong be hard to find next time. Then try again. And keep spinning your plates. If you're not in a LTR, there's no problem in dating multiple girls.