woman at work has a crush.

[MackJr]

A woman who's about a 6.5 has a crush on me. She knows me from work. I'd estimate her to be about 32, and she has a 7 and 4 year-old.

She was talking to me for a while but I never approached her because she had a ring. She sarged me recently and asked abut my personal life, and in the course of the conversation revealed that she was divorced because her former husband had an affair. I asked why she wore a ring,a dn she mentioned that it was because she was "married to her kids", whatever that means.

It's obvious that she's interested in me to the point that she's sarging me herself. My two reservations are that she works at the same facility and that she does have kids--I have no experience with dating women that have children.

I don't want to get into a debate about women that have kids. My primary concern is that she's at work, and positioned in such a manner that I cannot avoid her. Even if I decline, I have to do it carefully.

Any suggestions?

 

[Egoist]

6.5?

that probably means like a 5 in real life.

and its at work. double-fvcked.

skip it.

 

[JackPrescott]

Well, as far as the kiddies, as long as daddy pays his child support, and gets them every other weekend, all systems go.

Now for the work part. It has it's ups and downs. On the downside, is that EVERYONE at work will know your business once you start sleeping together. If you two lovebirds break it off, it will become awkward. And the company may frown on it.

On the upside, it might make life more interesting, and while you are in the "1st-5th date stage, work will seem like a really fun place. There will be heavy flirting going on, and maybe some really interesting "breaks"

 

[MackJr]

I need a smooth way to decline so as not to cause problems.

 

[Jamo]

easy

Sorry, but I am in a serious relationship. I hope we can be good friends?

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by MackJr
I need a smooth way to decline so as not to cause problems.

Try distance yourself a bit and maintain a more proffesional work environment and attitude when you are near her. Do not ask her about her personal life because it will lead to other discussions. Also decline any invitation to "hang" out after work, telling her you are buzy and such.

If she comes stright out asking you for a date, tell her that you are flattered but you are already seeing someone. Again do not talk about your personal life at work so you won't give her the oppertuinty to put tabs on you and finding out the truth.

DjDamage

 

[MackJr]

I took care of this, and for once, I did everything right.

First, I prepared what I was going to say. I rehearsed it a few times, saying it out loud. I didn't write it down too much because I didn't want to be a perfectionist, but I did memorize it.

I called her up (had her number) and this is how it played out.
Mack: Hi, this is MackJr.
Chick: Hi Mack
Mack: I called you up because I realized that I needed to talk to you and we were in a very public setting the other day.
Chick. uh-uh (following)
Mack: You were talking about dating right?
Chick: Yeah, are you dating, do you date, etc?
Mack: I do date, but there's a problem.
Chick: what's the problem?
Mack: We work at the same location. As a rule, I don't get involved with people that I work with. I can be professional, but that's it.
Chick: That's good.
<chick hangs up>
<chick calls back 30 seconds later>
Chick: So you were talking about us dating?
Chick: I was just curious, I'm involved right now, but we can be professional, that's okay.
( note that she's mirroring what I said)
Mack: Okay, that's good. Then it's all cleared up, I just wanted to be sure there was no miscommunication. Have a good night.
Chick: You have a good holiday.

And as a result I got her off my back within 5 minutes. The chick tried to say that she was "involved," but we all know that's B.S. Chick Anti-Rejection language. She made a point of telling me that she was all alone the other day, while talking about how much she liked me, blah blah blah.

Women will try to protect themselves from rejection by not attempting to close when they sarge you but they sort of "half-sarge" instead, by making inferences and revealing their availability and interest. Nevertheless, this could have been a difficult situation if I'd handled it improperly, so I think it went very well. I didn't lie, and I did it in such a way that she may think well of me even though there's no chance of a dating relationship as long as she's there.

Just in case you guys run into the same situation down the line.