Withdrawing Attention and Applying Silence

[Glassguy]

So many posters have been starting threads about what to do with their chicks when they do X,Y or Z.

You've started chatting with a new chick and all of a sudden she doesnt seem as interested, isnt initiating contact, she is acting distant, etc. etc.

Most on here will throw the "Spin more plates" answer back. While this is true as you should always be keeping your eyes open for potentially new plates, its understandable that it doesnt fix the problem with this particular issue, with this particular woman.

You first have to realize that if you did have more options at your disposal, you wouldnt feel as pressured to fix the current situation with one woman. You would just give less attention to this one woman and give more to another. At that point, this one woman will either start initiating again, or she wont. But you wont really care because you have other options. However if her interest in you is still high, she will crack and start initiating.

First, start finding new women NOW while you assess the situation with your current one. Until you start getting new numbers and start chatting up other women, you are going to be stuck dealing with this one particular problem. The key is to be the first to actively show a lack of interest and be finding more options.

There are a couple of phases here (which also works after a MILD breakup):

1.) Withdraw attention by not initiating any contact. If she texts/messages you, its fine to respond. I would recommend waiting a decent amount of time to do so, and also be very short in your response. Do not turn her texting you into a big conversation. A simple "OK", "Yeah", etc response a few hours later will let her know that your interest level has changed. Do not let her initiation be an open door for you to have a long text/messaging convo. Keep it simple. Let her start initiating all contact and chase you.

2.) Apply silence. When texting a new potential plate, you should be using texting to set up the date/meet up for drinks, whatever. The problem is, most women who have some interest in you will want to be chatty. It never fails that once you enter into the chatty texting, at some point the woman will start to slightly lose interest as she finds out more about you over text. You cannot show a woman a good time through text, only through meeting up. You have to commit to ending the text convo while there is still momentum and rapport and wait for the date. Do not let the thrill of a new plate trap you into endless messaging. Since most guys will not bail out with a "I am super busy, gotta run but looking forward to meeting up ____night" text, you will get sucked into the endless texting. If you do, just go silent.

If you think the woman has moderate to high interest but is hesitant to commit to a specific time and place, go silent. "Hey, gotta run. Maybe we can make our busy schedules work for that drink some other time. Take care". Then go silent.

The key is to get her mind wondering "why did he not chase?". "Why did he walk away without trying again". He must have other options....maybe I should meet up with this guy and see whats different about him.

I am not a texting genius with women, but going silent always works in my favor when there is legitimate interest on a woman's part. It is 10,000 times more effective than over texting and killing attraction and interest. That never works.

I am erratic with my responses. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes a day. There is no consistent pattern and I make sure to keep it that way UNTIL I have went out with a woman numerous times. Even then I dont become a predictable texter.

Just last week I was having a new text convo with a new potential plate. Things were rolling, told her we should meet up for a quick drink, she said she was busy this week but would like to next weekend. No problem. The texting fizzled out, I went silent. Why talk when I already have the date? At best case I would say something stupid and she would back out. Why kill the established interest and attraction when I can just wait and meet up?

Another plate went silent on me, so I returned the favor. Yesterday morning she texted me "Good morning" after not hearing from her in 4 days. What did I do? I waited until this morning and said "Good morning to you too". She has been blowing my phone up since.

Become less available as a person, not just in dating, for people who are just possibilities. Spend your time with friends/family/hobbies that are already established in your life. Learn to withdrawn attention for behavior that you dont like instead of rewarding it and dont be afraid to apply silence and ultimately just walk away. Be a man and wait them out with the situation calls for it.

If they have high interest, they will crack and reach out! Oh...and spin more plates

 

[EyeBRollin]

To summarize, only communicate to get dates. Brush them off otherwise. Stop all that texting bull****.

 

[resilient]

Something I've used before in the past in text convo is when they ask too many questions or want to keep the convo going over text when a date is already lined up, I use: "I like your question {validation here}. Ask me when I see you (tonight, tomorrow, x date) {leading here}." She usually responds with "Lol. Oh... right. Ok ::blush emoji::"

 

[Urbanyst]

Relationships are more for women than men. Once you initiate the relationship and have sex, your job is pretty much over.

You should NEVER be chasing someone who you already established a relationship with. If you are, that relationship is going down hill and you should probably be prepping to exit rather than looking to "fix" it.

There is no "fix" for two people who are not compatible and not on the same page. Only desperate people try to "fix" relationships. Either the relationship works for you or it doesn't.