Wife wants separation

[RickTheToad]

Most sexually active men will eventually father children. The question is whether they want their offspring raised together, and their father, or whether they want they scattered, raised byv single and/or a parade of strange men, with themselves in and out of court and jail, estranged from their children, harassed and broke.

Very broad term. I do not think a piece of paper makes or breaks a family, but it can make or break a dude. Should a divorce happen, 50%+ of assets, 70% gross pay for alimony and child support. It's a recipe for indentured servitude. The family courts is one of the reasons why marriage rates are falling. Dudes are too afraid of the attys and courts. (rightfully so). Besides, there really isn't anything in for the dude once he's married. She cheats, they divorce, he loses. They stop having sex, he loses. She's want it over and a new POA, he loses. The best way to win is not to play.

Family yes, marriage license, no.

 

[RickTheToad]

I agree, but with children, it makes little difference.

Makes a big difference. No division of assets. Not alimony. Child support based on his income, not his assets. Not that I am saying the dude shouldn't contribute what's fair, but what's fair in life and what's fair between the family court and the mother are night and day.

 

[RickTheToad]

You're telling me that a man raising a family, with 3 kids in common, parents live together for 10 years, and mother is a full-time homemaker, is going to be treated appreciably differently by the court system?

If there is no marriage and it is not a common law state, and they've not formally introduced each other as husband and wife, then yes, they will be treated differently under the law. No contract or license, no division of assets or alimony.

 

[Glassguy]

An update. First of all, I just wanna say that all your replyies have been helpful and the kind of replies I got here is nothing Ive got other places. This place is as gold as its allways been.

That said, I called her bluff. This came at a terrible time where we both are under alot of stress. We own business and have a small baby. Everything about her asking for divorce seemed kinda off. So I waited two days and did research, looked for clues. But I really though she was serious. Yesterday, I went to my sisters house and when I came back she wanted to talk because Ive been avoiding her for the last 2 days. The thing is, she couldnt even wait for our oldest kid to go to bed. She kinda almost wanted to talk as soon as I came back from my sister. (My sister is divorced) I think at this stage she felt she lost all the leverage as she saw I might acually wanna leave.

We talked it out, we both are kinda in a rut right now. I think she sufferes from pregnancy depression. And I wasnt being really helpful around the house and baby. There are few other things. But all in all, I think her calling for divorce was out of desparation. We talked it out. Things are ok now.

Thanks for replies. I will come again in 15 years.

When the D word pops up, it will normally rear its ugly head again. I would still focus on yourself (gym, eat right, self improvement). You cannot predict the future with ANY woman.

Once she has already mentioned the D, it is up to you to take the necessary steps to set yourself up for success if/when it comes up again. Strong chance it will.

Stash cash, start self improving so if she decides to bail, you are already light years ahead to get back in the game and have some fun.

 

[RickTheToad]

That's a lot of ifs, but still very interesting.

I've seen it happen. Not saying it's pretty, but the dude did better finance wise than being married. It's a shame that this is the world we live in. However, this is how it is. A person with assets needs to protect themselves.

 

[RickTheToad]

Sounds like it might be better than a prenup. Just slip the preacher extra cash to forget to file the certificate. That probably wouldn't work, though.

Some States do not recognize a religious ceremony w/o a license from the town clerk. However, if a lady were to move into my place, then there would ne a co-hab agreement, similar to what John Cena had with Nikki Bella. It's just too risky not to have an agreement in place these days. What some fail to understand is that a marriage is a contract, and the court that enforces that contract is the family court, not the superior courts. Thus, the man is not entitled to a fair trial or any bill of rights. It's basically a kangaroo court. The only way to play, would be to have legal agreements in place in order to protect you and your assets in the event of a separation. Ladies know this in the back their minds, one's that don't see the logic is this are just either playing dumb or are actually dumb.