"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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why spinning plates doesnt work

lamobatsman

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Say you have 6 plates on the go. YOu spin plates to avoid one-itis.

Well subconciously theres one plate you dont want to drop. So even if the other 5 drop you dont care. You just dont want that one to drop.

So go and spin 50 plates you still have the same problem
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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HalfPUAHalfAFC

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The purpose of spinning plates is not so that you develop strong feelings toward a particular woman. Heck, implicit in plate theory is the reality that the more women you meet and date the more likely you'll meet a quality woman you want to stick around and even make into a monogamous LTR if that is what you want.

The purpose of plate spinning is that if you focus on only one girl at a time, you are MUCH more likely to beta-backslide, approach her with a scarcity mindset, put her on a pedestal, and do all those unattractive things that drive women away.

If you are spinning 2-3-4 plates you are much less likely to come of as desperate and needy.

You will be much less likely to put up with her BS when she gets out of line.

Spinning plates helps you keep many of your attractive qualities at the forefront, keeps you in frame in the relationship, and so on.

Now, none of that means if you decide that you'd like to make one of your plates exclusive that you maintain a quality alpha frame. Not at all. That work still lies ahead of you and might even be harder for some guys once they've stopped all the spinning (I've done it myself, unfortunately).

All that said, I find when I'm dating 2-3 women at a time, I am in fact less needy, more outcome independent, pass sh1t tests more easily, attract other women in turn, and so on.

More criticism of your post coming from other board members in 3...2...1...
 

Bible_Belt

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You're right about that problem existing, and dealing with it when it arises is the next level. Ultimately everyone should do what makes them happy, whether that be one woman or forty. Having the skill to get multiple women will make you more secure in choosing to be with just one, because it's not the end of the world when that one relationship fails.

Realistically though, most guys are not anywhere near the level of having the problem you describe and worrying about it is like worrying about income taxes before you have income.
 

spiegel549

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Bible_Belt said:
You're right about that problem existing, and dealing with it when it arises is the next level. Ultimately everyone should do what makes them happy, whether that be one woman or forty. Having the skill to get multiple women will make you more secure in choosing to be with just one, because it's not the end of the world when that one relationship fails.

Realistically though, most guys are not anywhere near the level of having the problem you describe and worrying about it is like worrying about income taxes before you have income.

haha I love the analogy. Yeah bro it's suppose to keep you playing on your A game because in reality if the one you like over all the others starts acting up you are going to play it much more differently knowing you have 5 others as back ups then zero.
 

Zarky

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lamobatsman said:
Say you have 6 plates on the go. YOu spin plates to avoid one-itis.

Well subconciously theres one plate you dont want to drop. So even if the other 5 drop you dont care. You just dont want that one to drop.

So go and spin 50 plates you still have the same problem
Umm... "you" as in you, OP, not me. I've never had this problem. I don't love them hos. :moon:

I guess, too, that I don't spin plates to avoid oneitis. I don't get oneitis anymore. I spin plates because I get bored of banging the same broad each time.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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evan12

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I don't think you experienced to have many plates, when you have many you will not have in fear of loosing some one .
I dumped beautiful women without second thought because there was other waiting .
Now because my choices are more limited i think and care more.
 

backbreaker

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i only spun plates to the point where i weeded out all the women to find a woman that is picture perfect for me and married her and have a very happy marriage becuase of my ability to spin plates. but no. it does not work. not at all
 

VladPatton

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Screw spinning plates! 1-itis 4-eva! FTW!

lol
 

yyc12

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I think you guys missed what the OP was asking about. It's one thing to jump into the dating pool and "spin plates" to avoid oneitis with anyone in particular. It's something completely different to randomly develop oneitis, then decide to spin plates just for the heck of it. The second scenario doesn't work; you already fell for girl no.1. At that point it doesn't matter how many plates you add, none will compare to the "one" and you're wasting everyone's time. In the first scenario, it absolutely makes sense spinning plates as no oneitis has developed as yet.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Zarky

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^^^^ Possibly true, OP could have certainly been more clear in his OP.

The best way to get over oneitis is to utterly crash and burn with the oneitis chick so badly that you lose all hope of ever getting her. You have to hit rock-bottom, as with any addiction. Then start multi-dating and never let it happen again.
 

yyc12

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Zarky said:
The best way to get over oneitis is to utterly crash and burn with the oneitis chick so badly that you lose all hope of ever getting her. You have to hit rock-bottom, as with any addiction. Then start multi-dating and never let it happen again.
Isn't this ever the truth!! there really is no other way out of the abyss is there?
 

Zarky

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The sad part is.. I've "spun plates" since 2003 and it really doesn't help when the breakups come, for me at least. I remember back in 2007 crying in the arms of one girlfriend when another girlfriend dumped me (of course I didn't tell the second one what I was upset about; she just thought I'd had a really rough week).

So LOL.. for me at least it doesn't lessen the pain. I don't multi-date to avoid pain.. I multi-date because I like lots of women in my life. I don't really get "oneitis" over any of them anymore, but if I've been dating one chick for years I still get upset when she breaks up with me, even if there are a couple of other girlfriends in my life.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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