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Why is it soooooo hard to get over a girl ?

Y

yogy

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I was thinking today "why I just can't get over this girl?".I don't love here.she is not that attractive,I didn't see/contact here for about 2 weeks...
And I just can't understand.

The thing is that I moved about 4-5 years ago to another country (where I leave now) ,no parents,no friends,no social circle...and it wasn't soooo bad (even if I didn't have much to do and was kind of all alone for 4 month - no new friends,no girls).
So why I miss so much a girl that I dated for 3-4 month ??? I mean I left in my country,all my best friends,all my family (and I didn't visit them for 1 year) and it wasn't that bad as is it is with this girl (that I knew for only 4 months) ????And I didn't move when I was a child,I mean I had very cool social circle,lots of girls...and didn't felt that "thing" as for this girl, if you know what I mean.

I just can't understand :nervous:

PS: I did have a lot of girls/girlfriends before this one so it's not like she was my "first"
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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Because guys attach their happiness, their well being and their purpose on the livelihood of a woman (men do this with their careers too). It's as if their existence is only as secure as that relationship. Sever the relationship and it's akin to removing a limb or even worse, some vital organ.
 
D

Daddy The Pimp

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I dont know why this happens but i happened to me before .
I felt very bad cuz she wasnt calling or something after a fight ( not real fight :box: just over the phone ) .But when i analyzed situation and saw that its her fault she lost some points ..

Than u can move on to other girls , new girls . This will make u forgot this one :D .
 
S

sexy_kuta

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because you arent truely happy without her.

you gotta be happy and enjoy being single if you wanna be happy and enjoy a relationship.
 
Y

yogy

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Than u can move on to other girls , new girls . This will make u forgot this one
Click to expand...
This is not a problem ;)
But I just was comparing this two situations:
1.Move to another country alone (no friends,girls for 4-5 month) and it was almost no problem
2. Broke up with a girl (that ,as I sad, I am not in love,not very attracted physical to her) that I knew only for 4 month (and it wasn't thaaaaat big of relationship to be depressed about),but still it's much-much worst.

I just don't get.
 
E

Evolution

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yogy said:
This is not a problem ;)
But I just was comparing this two situations:
1.Move to another country alone (no friends,girls for 4-5 month) and it was almost no problem
2. Broke up with a girl (that ,as I sad, I am not in love,not very attracted physical to her) that I knew only for 4 month (and it wasn't thaaaaat big of relationship to be depressed about),but still it's much-much worst.

I just don't get.
Click to expand...
Because you wanted it to turn out differently. Maybe you know that you could have done things differently.
 
Y

yogy

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Because you wanted it to turn out differently. Maybe you know that you could have done things differently.
Click to expand...
I think you are right.It hit my ego a little (I know,I know it's not good but what can i do :nervous: ).I am better looking then her,have better job,more experience with all this social stuff and still she "played me" :cheer:
 
M

MrS

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Because you didn't put yourself first.
 
P

potato

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yogy said:
I was thinking today "why I just can't get over this girl?".I don't love here.she is not that attractive,I didn't see/contact here for about 2 weeks...
And I just can't understand.

The thing is that I moved about 4-5 years ago to another country (where I leave now) ,no parents,no friends,no social circle...and it wasn't soooo bad (even if I didn't have much to do and was kind of all alone for 4 month - no new friends,no girls).
So why I miss so much a girl that I dated for 3-4 month ??? I mean I left in my country,all my best friends,all my family (and I didn't visit them for 1 year) and it wasn't that bad as is it is with this girl (that I knew for only 4 months) ????And I didn't move when I was a child,I mean I had very cool social circle,lots of girls...and didn't felt that "thing" as for this girl, if you know what I mean.

I just can't understand :nervous:

PS: I did have a lot of girls/girlfriends before this one so it's not like she was my "first"
Click to expand...
It is because you fell in love with her. It is a naturally occurring thing. It is hard to say why you would have fallen for her specifically but your association with her caused a change in your brain that makes her matter more than what is logically observable.
 
D

demonic

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I'm in the same boat so don't worry about it, your get over her IN TIME!.

Atleast you don't have to work in the same building as your ex your trying to get over like i am.
 
Y

yogy

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Thanks for support.

Because you didn't put yourself first.
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I know that's the "logical" explanation,but I am very in control of my life (I don't need external stuff for me to be happy) so...I don't know


It is because you fell in love with her. It is a naturally occurring thing. It is hard to say why you would have fallen for her specifically but your association with her caused a change in your brain that makes her matter more than what is logically observable.
Click to expand...
That's an interesting thought,but I just don't feel in love.

Hope I'll get over it soon.And no girls for me for a while.I am going to concentrate on my work/my friends.
 
I

Interceptor

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Yogy, breakupps are like drug withdrawal.
You got used to the chemicals in your brain and body and how you Felt with her.
You also enjoyed the increased Size of your Personal Boundaries, and your Pooled Resources.
Once that's gone, you feel ike you have nothing.

This is because you really DID not have much to begin with before you met her.

The WEAKER you are BEFORE you meet a woman, the WEAKER you will OFTEN BE AFTER you break Up with A woman.

Remember that.

You don't really MISS HER, you MISS the feelings and you are REALIZING the VACUUM and VOID you HAD and have ALWAYS Had in Your Life, EVEN when you were with her.
 
T

The Deacon

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You're not physically attracted to this girl and you can't get over her? Maybe you attach your image to having a girl, then. When you attach your image to that, you'll have a poor self-image when you don't have a woman. I think we've all been there.
 
I

Interceptor

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Guys who are still Hooked on the Validation from Females needle are in the worst shape often after a breakup.

Their lack of Masculinity becomes shockingly evident and they hate themsleves for it, and they want that woman back and her validation of him too.
 
R

reset

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Interceptor said:
The WEAKER you are BEFORE you meet a woman, the WEAKER you will OFTEN BE AFTER you break Up with A woman.

Remember that.

You don't really MISS HER, you MISS the feelings and you are REALIZING the VACUUM and VOID you HAD and have ALWAYS Had in Your Life, EVEN when you were with her.
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Yup. This is why it's important to not judge yourself for being an AFC for still having some sort of feelings when you think you should "just get over it!". You don't just get over an addiction, it takes some time.

And yeah, if you aren't strong before you'll be weaker after. This is why you have to refuse to buy into the myth that a girl is going to make you happy. You make you happy, first. Then you can be happy with a girl. How can you be happy with a girl if you didn't have that genuine happiness first?
 
Poonani Maker

Poonani Maker

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Having already met the woman of my dreams, I no longer feel the need to be offended when a woman rejects me. She does not know who's in my corner.
 
I

Interceptor

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Poonani Maker said:
Having already met the woman of my dreams, I no longer feel the need to be offended when a woman rejects me. She does not know who's in my corner.
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Poonster, buddy..We're ALL in your Corner, big guy.

Don't forget it, man.
:up:


"WE NEVER get "Rejected"..........WE only find out if a Woman has good taste!!!!!!!!!"
;)
 
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