Why don't we call women out on their sh!t?

[slaog]

Its not about deciding if you should call them out on their sh*t. Its about how you do it.


Calmly tell them you're not happy with their behaviour and you would appreciate it if they changed it. Don't get emotional saying it.

 

[lifeislearning]

No, no, no, gentlemen!

Poor atomsmasher, here he comes to us with a genuine intelligent inquiry and all we do is give him half-right and misdirercted answers.

Yes, giving in to a woman's tests perpetuate a slew of awful consequences that lead only to the distress of the men in her life and the runiation of what might have been a great woman. And yes, often if we confront them on the tests we find ourselves without their company (sometimes permanently) and cursing our unbending resolve. Is there no other way?

Actually there is. There is always a (not so) right way, a wrong way, and...
you all know it...
a Don Juan way.

So what is the Don Juan method to handling a test? Simple really. First realize that all her tests (complaints, squabbles, resistance, insults, etc) are the result of the FEELINGS she has right at this present moment. Next know that these feelings change. Finally know that is your job, no, your duty to change her feelings to something more agreeable.

For example:
A man and a woman are leaving a bar. The woman reaches into her purse and withdraws a cigarette and lighter proceeding to smoke. The man knows this woman smokes, he and she know he does not like it when she smokes, and he and she know she told him she would not smoke in his company. The man is now at a crossroads. He can choose:

The (not so) right way: "Please don't smoke that honey." The woman: "I want to smoke, and I'm gonna!" The man then whimpers, "Ok." tail tucked between legs, urinating on himself, typical AFC, but he respected her feelings! Lets move on...

The wrong way: "You promised you wouldn't smoke around me! Don't be such a disgusting slob, you make me sick when you do that! What the hell is wrong with you, I don't wanna kiss a nasty a** ashtray!" Additional anger, insult, and idiocy soon follow, as will a quick end to the relationship. Lets try again shall we...

The much anticipated Don Juan way: As the woman goes to light the cigarette, the man gently, but firmly blocks the motion, pulls the woman close, looks commandingly into her eyes and says something to the effect of: "Darling, you know I don't appreciate it when you smoke around me, and while I would love to kiss that beautiful mouth of yours and take you back to my place and f*ck you to nirvana, if you choose to smoke that I'll have to call this lovely evening to a close."

*Warning* if you say these exact words to a woman I'm pretty sure she will orgasm immediately. Seriously though, here you have stood up to her test, confronted her feelings of defiance, and offered her a much better option without rising to anger, or negating your manhood.

The most important thing hereafter is to FOLLOW UP on exactly what you said you would do. If she is foolish enough to still want that cigarette, then good riddance, you are so much better off. If she throws it to the ground stomps on it, and sticks her hand down your pants, you better deliver. But wait... you're a Don Juan... Of course you deliver

 

[Atom Smasher]

Hmmm... So it seems that some of you contend that our boundaries and parameters should be enforced, but with a completely cool, detatched demeanor. This makes sense.

I think their childish behavior wouldn't bother me half as much if they didn't insist that they are equal to us in every way. I perceive the female gender as living in a complete fantasy world, where there is no concept of living a moral life based on principals. "Duh...", I hear some of you saying. That is why I struggle greatly with being able to respect them. There is virtually no accountability, both legally and socially, and I simply haven't found a way to resolve this or make peace with it.

I think that all my life I've somehow thought that they are capable of thinking and perceiving like we do, and I'm just waking up to the fact that they simply can't (yet they, the legal system, and society all hallucinate that they can).

All I know is that I need to somehow come to terms with all this. I'm going to work on that detatched but firm approach to dealing with sh!t tests. Thank you for your input, guys.

 

[DanelMadr]

I can feel ya.

I don't know any general solution but I can share my views.

If a girl is only teasing and eventually slips to being rude....I tell her "Don't be cheeky."

If she goes over the top or we know each other longer....I assume she is rude in core and/or she does not like me so much...if she made a stunt, well she just lost all the good points.
I don't call her on the sh*t.....I just smile and tell myself "Well another whitch you unlucky basta*d".........she wouldn't care and I am not her parent to tell her how to behave. I just lose interest and eject. Maybe if she insisted later on why I "dumped" her, I would tell her, that I found her behavior repelling.

If you ignore her bad behavior, you will past the tests (of a man with no inferiority complexes) and eventually you will have sex BUT it is not worth it. She is not that interested or a rude person and you don't want to sleep with that. Bad juju.

I think it is absolutely "safe" to call them on their bad behavior but you can't be pis*ed about it. I just tell them "Hey, watch your tongue woman or I will spank your a**" Most of the time they confess they would very much appreciate it.

As I said...you can't change a girl...and I strongly believe that cheeky/rude girls are terrible to live with. They turn to nagging wifes and eventually start to disrespect you in much meaner ways.

I don't let brain poison escape my mouth and I know girls who don't either. It is bad karma and even worse manners.

 

[Ease]

The reason you dont show a reaction is because when you show a reaction, you show somone how to manipulate you.

If you show a reaction to 1 thing, then the person will know how to manipulate you and do it again and again.

Eg. Girls and jealousy. She will sh*t test you for jealousy, if you try to play it cool but show you are slightly effected deep down, then she will bring up jealousy plotlines innocently again and again. Not because the person is evil, but because this is how we act.

However sometimes you need to put your foot down. Sometimes you need to show her who's boss and exercise your power as man. But men dont get pissy and emotional over womanly issues. The temptation to 'call her out' is insecurity.

 

[Dubh]

women unconsciously **** test you like we unconsciously look at womens breast and booty so when they do it treat her like a lil girl because she sure is acting like one and yes use your most powerfull weapon turn your back and leave if she isnt acting like a women you dont have toput up with her shi7

 

[Atom Smasher]

Do you guys see something entirely unique in this thread?

Not one clown has answered with a wise-ass remark. Every single guy here has contributed thoughtful and useful information and has treated the topic with respect. I expected to have to sift through lots of drivel to mine the gold, and much to my surprise the thread has maintained the dignity of men seriously trying to hep other men - the way it should be.

At any rate, I appreciate everybody's input and I'll be putting the obvious consensus into practice. This thread has genuinely helped me to straighten out my perspective on the subject. I'm grateful to all the contributors.

 

[Accension]

Let me tell you a story boys.
I have this girl that pays to come down and see me.
A casual thing, and everytime it was time for her to go, I'd think how much long distance relationships don't suite me.

Effectively, everytime I'd see her, I was settling in the same way if you let a girl get away with anything that's not of your standards, you are too.

Then I let go of her, and came completely content with myself.
It was the single most liberating moment of my life, and you know what, she's now trying to get cash to try buy a house for us.

Needless to say, if I let things go on as they did, she would have just controlled me like she's been allowed with every other guy.
Be content without her and a contentment with her will naturally follow.

 

[Nutz]

Whether to call them out or not is really a personal choice, nothing more. However, the impact it'll have depends on the following:

A) If they don't respect you then they'll brush off whatever you say and lump you into the bitter loser category and it won't sink in why you're pissed at them.

B) If they do respect you and like you, you'll burn any bridges and lose any chance with her in the future. However, she will be more inclined to learn from her mistake and years down the road she'll appreciate you more for it and IF you get a second shot she won't want to blow it.

 

[martinM.]

This is a good question.

I've called my girlfriend out on stuff before, no matter how calm i was she got really defensive. My thought process was i really didnt care if it ended, i'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't show the same respect i show them. I was told once you have to teach people how to treat you. Maybe i was wrong though