Why does my friend pull girls but I can't?

[Snowman23]

It just doesn't make sense. He's short (bout 5'6", maybe 7), and is a laid back guy, and can get pretty much any women he wants. He's 20 and dating a HB9 that's almost 23. They've been dating for almost 3 years. He was still in highschool when she was in college. There was another girl after him at the same time. I'm taller, better looking, with just as good of a personality, and here I sit... alone. What really gets me is the conversation we had a few weeks earlier about why my boss didn't like me. (We worked at the same place). He said "He didn't like you because you were an @$$hole. I'm just nice to everybody." That keeps re-playing in my head. He doesn't even go out to the bars and drink with people. He just goes to work, comes home and chills with his hot G/F.

I'm kind of lost. Is there something about this DJ thing I'm not getting? I've read the bible, read the posts here and felt pretty confident... with no results. While my friend is basically an AFC in front of my eyes and is laughing his way into bed with good-looking women.

 

[Quiksilver]

He is happy with himself, while you are not.

Also, being an ******* around your boss is not a good way to earn respect. In some areas of life, it pays to suck up and play dead.

I'm taller, better looking, with just as good of a personality

Clearly not.

Yet I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and allow you to explain exactly why you think your personality is better than his.

 

[lordson]

mate, your friend isn't some sort of DJ god

hes been with 1 girl in the last 3 years. he just got lucky, and him and his gf's personality obviously clicked with each other

 

[Mad Manic]

mate, your friend isn't some sort of DJ god

hes been with 1 girl in the last 3 years. he just got lucky, and him and his gf's personality obviously clicked with each other

Yes I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes people just click with each other.

MM

 

[slaog]

mate, your friend isn't some sort of DJ god

hes been with 1 girl in the last 3 years. he just got lucky, and him and his gf's personality obviously clicked with each other

Got lucky??? Well if you believe in luck you'd say that.

Obviously he has a good, positive personality that women find attractive.

 

[The Deacon]

he has a good, positive personality that women find attractive.

I agree. Men have been pulling girls for years without the DJ bible or the PUA stuff. Those rules can easily be violated as long as you have the right frame.

Frame is a really hard thing to explain. Frame is what makes George Clooney spout of a cheesy line and pull a girl while some random dweeb will try the same thing and get blown out. Frame is what makes social interactions dynamic. Sometimes when you are nice to others, people are genuinely impressed. Sometimes when you buy a girl flowers, she is genuinely happy. Do these under the wrong frame, though, and people think that you're trying too hard, or even think that you're creepy.

When you detach yourself from the outcome of a social interaction, you will begin to grow a frame. You'll be non-approval-seeking, and people will think you're cool for some mysterious reason. Blah, I can't explain this all in one post, but I hope you understand what I'm saying.

 

[Alphamale1821]

I agree. Men have been pulling girls for years without the DJ bible or the PUA stuff. Those rules can easily be violated as long as you have the right frame.

Frame is a really hard thing to explain. Frame is what makes George Clooney spout of a cheesy line and pull a girl while some random dweeb will try the same thing and get blown out. Frame is what makes social interactions dynamic. Sometimes when you are nice to others, people are genuinely impressed. Sometimes when you buy a girl flowers, she is genuinely happy. Do these under the wrong frame, though, and people think that you're trying too hard, or even think that you're creepy.

When you detach yourself from the outcome of a social interaction, you will begin to grow a frame. You'll be non-approval-seeking, and people will think you're cool for some mysterious reason. Blah, I can't explain this all in one post, but I hope you understand what I'm saying.

Very true deacon and what gives one a good frame to work with is his inner confidence. When you are truly comfortable in your own skin and you know what you want out of life, your true personality come out. GENUINE CONFIDENCE is the key factor in anything you will do or strive to do in your life.

If you feel like crap inside then people will perceive you as a creepy person. If you are a very optimistic, happy, fun loving person people will perceive you as cool and thus want to hang out with you. How you feel about yourself is the basic building blocks for how you want to control your life. Not knowing yourself equals not going in a straight direction just simply in circles. You have to believe to understand otherwise you'll disagree and can't comprehend.