Why does a girl contact you even if you are not together anymore?

[MattS]

Long story short dated this girl for like a month probalby knew her for like a year before we dated. We got super close when we dated then we "broke up" but things werent that much different as we still hung out and talked everyday still argued, blah blah blah. Then I moved away like 45 mintues away. That was almost 1.5 months ago. This girl would call me or text me to see how my life is going bascially. We would talk like twice a week for 1.5 months since i moved away. It was weird cause we would argue over the phone about pointless sh1t basically. We talked like 2 weeks ago and she was fed up with me cause of some sh1t that went down between me and my old roomates. so she basically stopped contacting me (before she would contact atleast once a week.) I was like well guess we aint talkin anymore. 3 days ago she calls me and is wondering if i got the job i was talking about etc. and talked about how her life is going etc.

I just dont get it. Why does she continue to contact me if i live 45 minutes away and were not dating. sure we care about each other and we understand each other like nobody else does but living away from each other and not seeing each other and still wants to contact? I miss her and she is someone I could see myself getting back wtih but she doesnt live close by so theres no point. Im just curious on her intentions. She says she cares about me and how my life is etc.

 

[betterthandead]

She wants your attention, there is nothing else.

 

[Jitterbug]

Maybe she also wants to make sure she made the right choice in breaking up with you, and that you haven't suddenly become a Great Catch and got snagged by a smarter woman.

 

[alphamailman]

Don't reveal too much. Tell her you're busy and make sure you actually are and accomplishing those things you strive for. She'll get it.

 

[Alle_Gory]

She wants the attention. Ego thing.

 

[MattS]

this girl is an AW. I gurantee she is getting enough male attention where she is. we are past that stage of feeding egos between us. Its just weird how she always says she cares about what i do in life. I dont know, think she just wants me in her life and knows i was the best catch she has had and possibly is waiting for something.

 

[WC2]

this girl is an AW. I gurantee she is getting enough male attention where she is. we are past that stage of feeding egos between us. Its just weird how she always says she cares about what i do in life. I dont know, think she just wants me in her life and knows i was the best catch she has had and possibly is waiting for something.

Look, I'm not disputing the fact that this girl wants attention. But it sounds to me like you two never left your relationship.

I've always been one to say that fights aren't necessarily a bad thing in relationships. They clear the air. Sometimes a relationship that is 100% cooperative gets a little stuffy and boring.

But in my head, she's looking for a way back in.

The question is, do you give it to her? In almost every circumstance, I say no. Break ups are break ups for a reason. Unless this breakup was over some stupid argument or what not, usually going back into a damaged relationship isn't healthy for either party (much less healthy for the man).

What is the deal? Why was there a break up? You need to be honest with yourself on this one. If she was hooking up with some other dude, I hope you would have stopped talking to her long ago. If it was a stupid fight that made you decide to get rid of her, then think it through again. If you still feel the same way, stop talking to her.

I'm the biggest advocate on leaving damaged relationships in the past. But it's becoming more and more common for men to break up with their women for the dumbest reasons and then think about it later down the road.