Why do I get emotionally attached so fast?

[tomwesten27]

I am 27 years old and I find that every time I meet a new girl that I really like, I get emotionally attached really fast. Even ones that I obviously know won't work like ones that live long distance, or girls that I have been on ONE DATE with and I don't even know if it will work out with them yet I still get attached.

I am very good at hiding emotion, meaning I may mentally be going 100mph with thinking about a new girl I met but I won't show it, or reveal it to them. I really REALLY want to learn how to not be attached so quickly...

In my most recent scenario my friend introduced me to a girl that lives a few states away. Its obvious it won't work long distance but I continue you talk to her, and continue to build feelings for her, and last night when I didn't hear from her all day and night I got these feelings like it was my girlfriend not responding to me, when in reality she is a girl I have been talking to for 2 weeks and never met face to face yet (besides skype)

Its becoming a sickness....please guide me out of this..

 

[usernamedox11]

Do you generally get emotionally attached to people you meet quickly, including friends and whatever?

 

[tomwesten27]

Do you generally get emotionally attached to people you meet quickly, including friends and whatever?

I specifically get emotionally attached to women that I would like to date. I can't just relax. After a first date its all I think about..what she is doing, when I will see her again etc. Its not good...not healthy...

what do you think?

 

[Skyline]

That's called co dependence.

This is caused by a number of things actually, crappy upbringing, few bad rejections, and generally just unaware of how women work. I used to be co dependent and I think the number one factor that helped me become independent was the facts of what women can bring to the table. What they can do for you, not the other way around. Women, in reality, can only really bring you children once you think about it. So if they're gonna bring me children I'm better off finding a good looking one with a decent personality while I'm at it. Anything less of my preferences isn't worth my time. I would browse the DJ bible, there's a number of threads pertaining to this information.

I also began to implant a more positive and confident mindset toward myself. This helped me find hobbies, try more new things, and become more independent because I began to enjoy my life- rather than rely on the presence of another. I began to embrace my true self, rather than the things that I thought I needed- like women. Now I can handle rejection easily and basically live without women.

 

[winstrolwins]

Good Morning Sir,

This sounds like a sense of insecurities. Start hitting the gym, get ripped, and all the girls will come flocking to you.

Just kidding, you have to begin to build confidence in yourself. It sounds to me like you need to question if you're physically attracted or mentally attracted. Sometimes you can't win all battles.

Find a hobby, get your mind off only thinking about these Women.

 

[Mr. Cappucino]

See more women and plan more dates. try making two or more dates on the same day. sounds risky, but why the fvck should they care? that way you won't be just thinking about that one date, since you'll be looking forward to another one

 

[3agle 3yes]

If I were you OP, I would take Frayzer's advice.

You become what you think about most of the time.

 

[Partizan]

Spin more plates.

 

[usernamedox11]

Spin more plates.

Don't you think spinning plates would just be masking the problem?

 

[usernamedox11]

Spinning plates wil lhelp change your mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance.

When you have multiple girls to think about, you are less likely to focus on any one of them (although there is still a danger of that happening).


Ultimately though, you are focusing on one girl because she is precious to you in some way. Or from an economics standpoint, there is "limited supply". The answer is, to create more supply, thus spin more plates.

I understand that, but it seems it is just a bandaid instead of real solution in a person's overall mindset. What if suddenly you can only muster one plate and there is a dry spell?

Basically, what if you just didn't give a sh1t from within and really thought a girl would really have to prove herself to you before you become attached? I guess it is easier said than done, but that is certainly my mindset and I don't get attached to unworthy girls. If I feel like a girl is trash, I immediately dismiss, even if she is the only one I'm speaking to at the moment.