Why do I fear rejection so much?

[Young Noble]

I go to a community college which is fulll of very attractive women but for some reason I'm afarid to approuch. I mean I see butt ugly guys talking to these fine girls and I know I look better than them. It seems like I fear some girl going" get the hell out of my face" when I thinking about going to talk to them. But again those arent the women a man wants to date anyway. Any advice for a young brother like myself?

 

[WampaLord]

For the THIRD damn time......

READ

THE

F'ING

BIBLE!!

Read the parts about "fear of rejection"

GOD DAMN NEWBIES!!

------------------
Whenever you gamble, eventually you lose.

 

[BocaJoe]

You fear rejection because you are human. Congratulations, welcome to the club. Nobody wants to endure the pain of rejection, so it is human nature to avoid it. I am sure that if you poll most of the guys on this board, you would find that at one time or another, we were all afraid of rejection.

It is too easy to say that you must overcome your fear if you are to become a DJ. But it's the truth. Start with yourself. When my self-esteem was in the crapper, I was deathly afraid of rejection. Now that I am a DJ in training, I realize that I have NOTHING to be self-conscious about and that I am the catch.

Oh, you can also read the DJ bible. Actually, you MUST read the DJ bible! It changed my life.


-Joe

 

[Track_Star]

Man, dealing with the rejection of a person that YOU DONT EVEN KNOW is nothing. I imagine you havent ever been in a serious relationship b/c the very first time you get rejected by a girl who you thought you meant the world to, you wont even worry about what some stranger thinks. Just go for it, get some numbers, and you'll probly get some rejections too but its ok. Many girls actually do have boyfriends, too much on their plates to see you this weekend, or maybe their even a lesbian. The point is it doesnt matter if she says no. At this point, you move on to one of the other 3 billion women alive. One thing you can try is to practice picking up girls in a spot you dont usually go. I predict that you may have a slight fear of the damage done to yout reputation if you got rejected by one of these girls from your school in front of people you know. Just go to a mall or some place where you'll never see them again and practice the approach. Just give it a shot and you'll see it really isnt that bad.

 

[Unbridled_1]

We try to protect our egos.

 

[matius]

Don't have too much pride and drop the ego - yet learn how to ego trip in the right directions. Yes, you read that right.

I had an audience for one of the most embarrassing shoot downs you've ever seen the other day...it was fantastic! A year ago I would have walked off and been down for days because I would've taken it very personally. But since I dropped the ego- the pride- I bounced back in a couple of minutes and realized, well at the very least I stepped up and tried. And you know what, I'll be better the next time.

Go on...nobody really cares if you're too afraid to speak up...what I mean is, you need to or nobody will care.

 

[Ofus]

How to get over fear of rejection?

The next time you see an attractive woman, approach her. Don't worry about what you're gonna say, just GO and let whatever happens happen.

Then approach another woman.

Then another...then another.... then keep going. Make it a habit always to approach women you're attracted to. Each time the approach is easier than the time before.

Nervousness is very normal. In fact, if you don't get nervous, at least a little, then odds are you aren't even that attracted to the girl. Just go for it, you have nothing to lose!

You will get rejected sometimes, and sometimes you won't. Realize that in the long run you'll have many successful attempts as well as many rejections - and don't get caught up in any one girl's particular response to you.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Originally posted by Ofus
Just go for it, you have nothing to lose!

Ofus is absolutely right.

Nothing to lose. In fact, you will hurt MORE if you don't approach a girl you're attracted to than if you do and get rejected.

Don't sit and wonder "what if" (she liked me?), (she was this, she was that).

SCREW WHAT IF.

Just go do it bro, and make sure you have fun doing it. The girls will notice, and will respond positively, too.


-- Zero-

 

[matius]

and make sure you have fun doing it.

I like this advice, I don't know in the past if I've had fun doing it exactly...I mean, I was bit nervous/determined...next time I'll try to be a bit more playful.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

Its because your a man...getting rejected seems similar to getting your balls cut off.

Thats why it scares the sh*t out of you. You dont even want to try..and avoid rejection completely.


Face your fears man..there is no easier way. If you cant get over this hump..then you may as well forget about becoming a DJ.

 

[GynecologyEnthusiast]

The WHY isn't as important as the HOW to defeat the fear, amigo.

 

[thejuice]

Fire Drill...

People fear what they do not know. Its normal to fear it. You just need to experience it more and more so that you become familiar with the drill. Thats all it is...a simple drill

 

[es_mer8]

Nobody likes to be rejected for anything in life, especially women. Nobody wants to be denied of what they want. However you can take it two ways: 1) sulk around like a ***** and spend each night whacking off or 2) think about what you did wrong, improve, and move on.

"es_mer8, thats easier said than done."

Yeah it is, if you're a ***** ass AFC. For DJs, its a good lesson. Each girl is different too. Learning your mistakes (nobody's perfect) and trying again is the best thing to do.

 

[matius]

Yeah, just think of it like this...You better get started.

Because once you're at a level where approaching is made simple and you get pretty good at it. You got a whole new bag of tricks to deal with, like setting up dates and trying to keep them around. Then levels of relationships and so on and so forth. So, if you want any of that you better go ahead and drop the insecurities so you can deal with the other aspects of this thing.

It ain't easy, but you can do it.

>> It really is amazing. Say you get 30 numbers in one day. About 7 will flake without one date. About 10 will dislike you the first time out (or you did one little or big thing wrong). About 10 you will dislike the first time out (for the same reasons). About 2 you will like enough (and they like you) to go out with more than twice and 1 you might could see for an extended period.

When you're dealing with that kind of a world...better get to asking. Of course, some pimps would be taken back by those numbers...so if you get all thirty, go for it - you're too busy to be reading this anyway.