CableLight
Master Don Juan
I honestly thank anyone who reads this. I know its long, but I've been working on it for over a week now, and I think I've finally managed to say all that I need to say.
Who am I? I think I've figured it out, and its taken me my entire childhood up to my senior year here to figure it out. Maybe after reading this, you'll have an idea of who you are.
I'm going to be perfectly honest here - I'm in no way a "zen master" of this Don Juan Craft thing. I've also yet to see anyone who truly, truly is. Along the two year road of my time on this site, I've had an incredible ammount of up's and down's with my social life. I started off as a pretty solemn and quiet kid who kept to himself, and yet even after I started applying these techniques which have helped me not only in relationships, but with with myself, and I wasnt even aware of some of my dreams that were coming true in the process. I accepted it as being "the way it should of" and moved on, without even hardly a congradulations to myself for even attempting some of this stuff I at once thought was impossible. I feel like I've grown by leaps and bounds as a person, and I have. I also know that there's most definately a few times I stumbled, fell, and maybe even stayed down for a little while, but ultimately I look at all those falls and realize I'm still standing now.
I also got too comfortable with my new found glory at one time, which eventually lead me to being somewhat "over present" or even too eager in some situations. Trust me, it is very possible to be a little "too much" with techniques; there's a comfortable medium level you've got to find to apply them correctly and accourdingly. I would like to say that as a person, I have no boundaries. As a realistic human being, though, I have to be aware that I have a margin and/or possibility of error; everyone does.
The worst part about trying to throw everything I thought I knew into the mix at once, and not being successful was trying to compensate for it by slowing down almost all together. I look back on my High School career and see it filled with victories and defeats, though even the defeats are kind of like little victories because I still had the courage to try. The thing that makes each of these victories bittersweet, however, are the various and mercifully somewhat spread out regrets. These are times that I now look back on and say "If I only had done this, said that, etc." I at times literally choke on these regrets because it's hard to accept the fact that no one has a time machine and I have to live with the outcome forever. It's the worst feeling in the world right now knowing about all the times I should of done something I didnt, and I'll warn you of that right now. Time may "heal all wounds," but believe the hype that you've (hopefully) got a lot of it infront of you, and its easy to take that for granted.
I also grew to be very, very impatient with things for a time. I'll tell you straight off that having a low threshold for patience is going to kill you in the long run. It might as well be classified as a deadly sin for the effect it can have. Combine that with a little frustration, and you've got a vicious circle. Hell, there isn't even a way to cure low patience other than forcing yourself to have more of it.
I've learned a lot about who I am through the time I've been alive so far, and it's almost like an epiphany when you look back at what you've accomplished and ACCEPT it. You dont have to be thrilled with it, and most definately dont turn your back to it, but take the good, remember the bad, and go from there. I know I've walked the edge many, many times in my life so far, but I never let myself fall, and that's something I'm personally very proud of. I'd never trade my persistence and potentials for anything in the world, and I can only try to make those qualities help the pieces of me that aren't so strong yet.
In closing, as I've been trying to get at all along, it's unimaginably, unconditionaly, and irreplacibly crucial that, despite how low you might feel yourself sink, you never let the sun set on tomarrow, before it rises today. I want all of you to promise me this, because chances are, all you need is more time to make things right. I know I did/still do, and sitting here typing this to all of you right now only reminds me of how glad I am to not just throw in the towel. I never will, not for anything. Make this day the first of the best part of your life. I can tell you right now that there's going to be times ahead that you're going to be scared, nervous, uncertain, maybe even on the verge of giving up on yourself, but those times are only paths down the road of your life, and you dont have to follow those paths. Wait, scratch that, you wont follow those paths.
Here's to you all...
Who am I? I think I've figured it out, and its taken me my entire childhood up to my senior year here to figure it out. Maybe after reading this, you'll have an idea of who you are.
I'm going to be perfectly honest here - I'm in no way a "zen master" of this Don Juan Craft thing. I've also yet to see anyone who truly, truly is. Along the two year road of my time on this site, I've had an incredible ammount of up's and down's with my social life. I started off as a pretty solemn and quiet kid who kept to himself, and yet even after I started applying these techniques which have helped me not only in relationships, but with with myself, and I wasnt even aware of some of my dreams that were coming true in the process. I accepted it as being "the way it should of" and moved on, without even hardly a congradulations to myself for even attempting some of this stuff I at once thought was impossible. I feel like I've grown by leaps and bounds as a person, and I have. I also know that there's most definately a few times I stumbled, fell, and maybe even stayed down for a little while, but ultimately I look at all those falls and realize I'm still standing now.
I also got too comfortable with my new found glory at one time, which eventually lead me to being somewhat "over present" or even too eager in some situations. Trust me, it is very possible to be a little "too much" with techniques; there's a comfortable medium level you've got to find to apply them correctly and accourdingly. I would like to say that as a person, I have no boundaries. As a realistic human being, though, I have to be aware that I have a margin and/or possibility of error; everyone does.
The worst part about trying to throw everything I thought I knew into the mix at once, and not being successful was trying to compensate for it by slowing down almost all together. I look back on my High School career and see it filled with victories and defeats, though even the defeats are kind of like little victories because I still had the courage to try. The thing that makes each of these victories bittersweet, however, are the various and mercifully somewhat spread out regrets. These are times that I now look back on and say "If I only had done this, said that, etc." I at times literally choke on these regrets because it's hard to accept the fact that no one has a time machine and I have to live with the outcome forever. It's the worst feeling in the world right now knowing about all the times I should of done something I didnt, and I'll warn you of that right now. Time may "heal all wounds," but believe the hype that you've (hopefully) got a lot of it infront of you, and its easy to take that for granted.
I also grew to be very, very impatient with things for a time. I'll tell you straight off that having a low threshold for patience is going to kill you in the long run. It might as well be classified as a deadly sin for the effect it can have. Combine that with a little frustration, and you've got a vicious circle. Hell, there isn't even a way to cure low patience other than forcing yourself to have more of it.
I've learned a lot about who I am through the time I've been alive so far, and it's almost like an epiphany when you look back at what you've accomplished and ACCEPT it. You dont have to be thrilled with it, and most definately dont turn your back to it, but take the good, remember the bad, and go from there. I know I've walked the edge many, many times in my life so far, but I never let myself fall, and that's something I'm personally very proud of. I'd never trade my persistence and potentials for anything in the world, and I can only try to make those qualities help the pieces of me that aren't so strong yet.
In closing, as I've been trying to get at all along, it's unimaginably, unconditionaly, and irreplacibly crucial that, despite how low you might feel yourself sink, you never let the sun set on tomarrow, before it rises today. I want all of you to promise me this, because chances are, all you need is more time to make things right. I know I did/still do, and sitting here typing this to all of you right now only reminds me of how glad I am to not just throw in the towel. I never will, not for anything. Make this day the first of the best part of your life. I can tell you right now that there's going to be times ahead that you're going to be scared, nervous, uncertain, maybe even on the verge of giving up on yourself, but those times are only paths down the road of your life, and you dont have to follow those paths. Wait, scratch that, you wont follow those paths.
Here's to you all...
.
