"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

While sitting on her bed: "No, I'm seeing someone"

gradeAprime

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Short version:
Ok Don Juanos . . . What do I say if the girl who other showed interest (or so I thought) refuses a kiss and says "I'm seeing someone"?

Long version:
Girl at work was showing attention to me, making deep contact, so I unleash my charm offensive, get her phone number. Dark haired, slight tan, of farmgirl origin. Not into her glasses, not quite my ideal type, in the face at least, but nice full breasts, and hot in shape body (she runs long distance). Good body is good enough for me. So . . .

I learned never to go on a dinner date since it's somehow viewed as "low-status" so I meet her to go shopping at the local farmers market together. Afterwards she wants to stop for coffee, we talk and talk. Seems to be a strong connection. I dont even buy her coffee (apparently giving girls anything is 'low status' means you suck, so i have no choice). Anywayz, I convince her to come up to my condo since we live in the same development, joking that if she will let me give her a tour, "I wont abduct you I promise". Then I ask if she will give me tour of her place, and we leave mine to go to hers.

Her roommate is gone, we wind up in her room, we both sit on the bed and play on her guitar. More talking she is laughing and making deep eye contact. Everything she has done showed interest. Or so I thought, I try "kino" by talking about how I had my palms read, and then ask for hers and 'fake' read her palms. I tell another funny story then move in and say "how about a kiss" (without making it sound like a question). HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE THIS?

To my shock so goes "No. I'm seeing someone." This totally got me unawares. I know that a seducer isn't t supposed to just accept that (in the past I would have considered it a total rejection and stopped) so I tried to think of what to say. At first I try to joke that her 'boyfriend' is make believe, saying "oh yeah what's his name?" Is he imaginary, hahah. Etc. That doesn't work. Then I ask what "seeing someone means". She says it "means I'm seeing someone." I should have said "well now you are seeing me because here I am" but I didn't know what to say or do. She doesn't work at my office, or even near it, but for the same overall company.

After some silence, I stood up and said "well by concidence time for me to go." She follow me to the door and seemed apologetic as if she felt bad she mislead me. I said we did go on a date, and then she said something like "but just the farmers market . . . I mean you were nice today . . . blah blah ". Then she implies that she still wants to be friends with me, which As I leave she asks if this means I wont want to come to this meetup next week she is having with another platonic dude she knows. Not knowing what to say or do, as I am not a Don Juan, I equivocate and say "I dont see why I automatically wouldn't". I didn't want to just be silent, figuring that would be even worse.

So I left, and that was my Saturday morning. So what did I do wrong? What do I do about it? Why do the girls think I keep connecting platonically when I have not the slightest intention of being neuter? I got as close as sitting on her bed with her, alone in her apartment? Why else did she think i was doing it? Girls are weird, and yet again I lose.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Warrior74

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I want you to go through this thread and tell us what you did wrong.
 

nismo-4

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Solution here!

^^^I'll handle this one Warrior!

Read Between the lines GradeA!

gradeAprime said:
Short version:
Ok Don Juanos . . . What do I say if the girl who other showed interest (or so I thought) refuses a kiss and says "I'm seeing someone"?

Too vague...Thanks for writing the long version.

Long version:
Girl at work was showing attention to me, making deep contact, so I unleash my charm offensive, get her phone number. Dark haired, slight tan, of farmgirl origin. Not into her glasses, not quite my ideal type, in the face at least, but nice full breasts, and hot in shape body (she runs long distance). Good body is good enough for me. So . . .

You got a nice find here! :cool:

I learned never to go on a dinner date since it's somehow viewed as "low-status" so I meet her to go shopping at the local farmers market together.

Great move! You avoided being a boring dater! Congratulations!

Afterwards she wants to stop for coffee, we talk and talk. Seems to be a strong connection. I dont even buy her coffee (apparently giving girls anything is 'low status' means you suck, so i have no choice).

You know something most men will never understand. Kudos!:up:

Anywayz, I convince her to come up to my condo since we live in the same development, joking that if she will let me give her a tour, "I wont abduct you I promise". Then I ask if she will give me tour of her place, and we leave mine to go to hers.

You sly devil! I gotta try this sh*t more often! :rockon:

Her roommate is gone, we wind up in her room, we both sit on the bed and play on her guitar. More talking she is laughing and making deep eye contact. Everything she has done showed interest.

That's correct from what I'm reading! Ooh Lord have mercy, did you have a condom in your wallet? If not, start doing so! In cases like these the girl is giving subtle hints that she wants your magic wand!

Or so I thought,

You made it this far and psyched yourself out? Shame on you!

I try "kino" by talking about how I had my palms read, and then ask for hers and 'fake' read her palms.

That's a great way to kino!

I tell another funny story then move in and say "how about a kiss" (without making it sound like a question).

Sorry, it sounded like a question. You tried too hard. I oughta smack you for doing this. You just chopped your di*k off, remnant of the BME Pain Olympics Final Round.

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY LOSE THIS?

Cuz you wussied out! Alpha males lead and take charge/ initiative motherf***er! You asked permission and you CLEARLY had the green light to initiate! A Don Juan/ Alpha Male does not ask, he knows what he wants to do and is confident in his action, and just does it! Whether it's a hit or miss, he showed Alpha Male qualities. You, asking that question, showed low value and low confidence. Neither one is a quality of an Alpha male.

To my shock so goes "No. I'm seeing someone." This totally got me unawares.

I can see why. You are shocked because you killed that spark. Count this rejection as a lesson.

I know that a seducer isn't t supposed to just accept that (in the past I would have considered it a total rejection and stopped)

Nobody's perfect. You should have stopped while you were ahead.

so I tried to think of what to say.

Desperate times call for desperate measures and desperate measures call for desperate males. You responded to that call. Bad choice. BTW you should have known what to say or do already in case of this scenario. Your not knowing caused the girl to get the upper hand and pick away your hit points piece by piece.

At first I try to joke that her 'boyfriend' is make believe, saying "oh yeah what's his name?" Is he imaginary, hahah. Etc.

It's all downhill from here.

That doesn't work.

Cuz you tried instead of just confidently doing it. You displayed another wussy quality. You should get rejected as an alpha male and she might come running back to you.

Then I ask what "seeing someone means".

You dumb ass. Never ask women for w0manese translations. You displayed another wussy quality.:down: There's a pook thread on that. Go read it.

She says it "means I'm seeing someone."

Isn't it obvious? She's just not that into you!:(

I should have said "well now you are seeing me because here I am" but I didn't know what to say or do. She doesn't work at my office, or even near it, but for the same overall company.

The damage from your AFC move has already been dealt. You already took that one way trip to Friendzone, California. It was not going to work and only get you into the girl's creep category. Any more and you'll set off her stalker alarm!

After some silence, I stood up and said "well by concidence time for me to go." She follow me to the door and seemed apologetic as if she felt bad she mislead me.

Ripley's wouldn't even believe that sh*t! She didn't want to feel guilty about rejecting you. That's why women speak in w0manese. Now I wonder where the infamous 2-cheek kiss came in?

I said we did go on a date, and then she said something like "but just the farmers market . . . I mean you were nice today . . . blah blah ".

See AFC mistake above and the reason why you were called a this nice guy variant will be really obvious. BTW women think with their feelings, not logic.

Then she implies that she still wants to be friends with me,

Consolation prize. It's useless since you've been rejected. She doesn't see you as a lover. You should say "Nope, I have enough friends, buh-bye!" (Thanks to Pook) Then turn away without looking back. This is part of a Don Juan's Modus Operandi.

which As I leave she asks if this means I wont want to come to this meetup next week she is having with another platonic dude she knows.

Injury with a cup of insult. See above.

Not knowing what to say or do, as I am not a Don Juan,

I'm glad to know that you need work done on your character.

I equivocate and say "I dont see why I automatically wouldn't".

I hate to have to look up words while responding to some of these forums, but I learned a new word and I'm here to teach and help. Fight fire with water, not gasoline. You displayed yet another wussy quality when you should have been long gone!

I didn't want to just be silent, figuring that would be even worse.

Silence is 5X platinum in many cases with women, this being one of them.

So I left, and that was my Saturday morning.

That's a crying shame.:cry:

So what did I do wrong? What do I do about it?

You asked the girl for permission. Wussy move. In these cases you must take initiative without fearing the outcome. That's the mark of a Don Juan.

Why do the girls think I keep connecting platonically when I have not the slightest intention of being neuter?

Stop being scared dude. Real men take action. Wussies wait to be fed. They barely get the right serving. Which one are you in this case? Now you know the problem and the solution. Fix it.

I got as close as sitting on her bed with her, alone in her apartment?

And all you had to do was keep it alpha and you blew it. :mad:

Why else did she think i was doing it?

Interest was there. You built attraction. I must commend you for that.:up:

Girls are weird,

Case and point proven again! Now accept this fact and deal with it.:woo:

and yet again I lose.

All cuz of your wussy mistake. Don't do it again. Point. Blank. Period.
Problem analyzed and solved successfully! Now get off your ass and use Alpha male tactics! And stop being a nice guy dammit!
 
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