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Where I've Been: The Good & The Bad

Desdinova

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Figured I'd update you all to what's been going on in my life. As you can tell, I'm not a mod anymore due to my inactivity which I'm fine with. I became inactive because this place gets a bit stagnant when you're not learning anything from it and your dating situation doesn't change. I also had other things to invest my time in.

The Relationship
I'm still with my GF. This month we'll be celebrating 8 years together. If you add the two years she pursued me, we've known each other for 10 years. It might almost be time to put a ring on that finger. She turned 30 last summer, so I can no longer brag that I'm with someone in her 20s. That doesn't bother me, she's more than proven her worth as I'll get to in a bit...

Health
This is where the bad part starts. Back when we were in the middle of the pandemic, I was working in health care. Those of us here in Canada remember the big push by our government to get the vaccine. Being in health care, I was one of the earliest ones to qualify for the vaccine. After all, I didn't want to lose my job and I've had vaccines before. No biggie. During the lockdown, I had gained about 15-20 lbs because we were mainly doing in-house work to keep us safe from the COVID boogeyman. When I was doing actual work, I had noticed that it was a bit more difficult getting up off the floor. I figured it was due to my extra body weight and it would go away once I lost it.

Over time, my work ended up forcing me to quit due to new management cost cutting. I went to the Union and they were absolutely no help. I figured fvck it, I'll just go find another job which I did. I got a job repairing motorhomes and camping trailers. It was more physically demanding which I was fine with. I figured it would be easier to lose the weight. I was working with three other guys, all in their early 60s. At the end of the day, I was absolutely exhausted. My feet and ankles were killing me. I figured it's just something that would go away as I got used to the increased physical demands of the job. It never did go away and that was the first time I talked to my doctor about it. He wasn't too concerned yet, but yet here I am watching these 60 year old smokers run circles around me.

Because I was so fvcking good at my job, I plowed through my repairs and the company ran out of work for the Winter, leading me to getting laid off. Since I was planning on starting my own business, I used my time to do repairs to the building I owned that I was planning on using. It needed new supports for the floor, one room needed insulation, and some racking needed to be installed. Every day that I worked on it, I was thoroughly exhausted regardless of whether I worked for 3 hours or 8 hours. I eventually brought it up again with my doctor, and he suggested increasing my physical activities. I found that odd because I wasn't exactly sitting on my ass doing nothing, but sure I'll try it.

So I opened my business in the Summer of 2022. Every morning I would ride my bike up and down the highway before I opened the doors. I ended up dropping some of the weight that I gained. My business was bringing in money but not quite the amount I needed, so I scored a job for 2 days a week doing building maintenance to supplement my income. Regardless of this being a slightly less physically demanding job than the trailer repair, I was still fvcking exhausted at the end of the day. The bike riding didn't make any difference.

At the beginning of November, something happened. I started getting pain and burning in my neck and shoulders and my left leg. There were days where it was too exhausting to hold my head up in the evening, so I found myself just laying on the couch. Back to the doctor I went. He did some blood work along with an MRI on my brain. My MRI came back normal, but my CK level was slightly elevated. So I typed in my symptoms and elevated CK level into Dr. Google and found something that matched up... Polymyositis.

Polymyositis is an auto-immune disease that attacks the muscles instead of healing them. It mainly affects the shoulders, neck, legs, and hips, but over time can extend to the lungs and heart. Treatment is available in steroids and IV, but getting to the point of treatment has been a fvcking nightmare. Canada's health care system is so badly fvcked up that I've had to wait 6 months apart for appointments for specialists who just pass me off to other specialists. I'm still not on any treatments, but I'm finally on the correct path to get them. Just a few more tests to confirm that I DO have Polymyositis.

In the meantime, my body's been slowly disintegrating. I used to be a slab of meat. My body has been demanding carbs to fix my muscles, but because it attacks them instead of repairing them, the carbs just get stored as fat. I've gained a ton of weight in the last year and a half. I had to quit the building maintenance job because I couldn't lift anything anymore and started getting shaky when working on anything. I became too weak to work and I had to quit the maintenance job solely because my body is failing. All I have left for income now is my business. It's still not bringing in enough money, but I don't have the energy to put into beefing it up. After I quit the maintenance job, my doctor assisted me in applying for disability. That was back in April 2023. The Canadian government's wheels turn VERY slowly. I have a friend who went through the exact same process and said it took him TWO YEARS to get disability.

Most of you guys have no clue what this is like. I wake up exhausted every single day, as if I already worked an 8 hour construction job. Turning in bed is difficult. My mobility is starting to go down the toilet. Most days I walk like a penguin with a stick up it's ass. Doctors have given me exercises to build my muscles, and I've done them until I've lost the ability to do them.

The good news is my GF has been awesome. She stepped up to the plate and got some additional work through her job and now brings home a pretty decent wage. She's been supportive through all this 5hit.


My Kid
He's been primarily living with me for the past 6 years. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD at age 3. I honestly don't believe that diagnosis is completely accurate. Ever since he was 12, I've had the suspicion that he's Schitzo. I fought like hell to get him on anti-psychotics instead of ADHD meds (which only amplified his issues). The anti-psychotics only work to a degree and I've put him through all the fvcking professionals I could. This province's support for kids with psychological issues is fvcking terrible. Nobody listens and instead just rely on the initial diagnosis to be treated. I'm now at a point where the wait list for another professional is longer than the time until he turns 18 years old. All there is left to do now is run out the pre-adult clock.

He's a narcissist (in a very bad way), irrational, a complete incel, and a total imbecile. I caught him stealing money from my business and punished the 5hit out of him by taking away pretty much everything in his room. He has been demanding his stuffed animals back (yes, you read that right). He talks to his stuffed animals as if they're real, and he's mentioned how his animals consider my GF their worst enemy. I won't let the fvcking things back in the house because he's more aggressive when he has them.

He is also convinced that his mother loves him because she buys him whatever the fvck he wants (including more stuffed animals). He's convinced that I don't love him, and he plans to move in with her so he can avoid getting a job, talk to stuffed animals all day, and just have his mom buy him whatever he wants.

I'm pretty much at the end of my rope with him. The only thing I can think of doing is trying to get him into housing and the welfare sytem instead of moving into his mother's place (which I'm not entirely convinced SHE wants). Essentially, just throw him into the real world and let whatever happens, happens. He doesn't qualify for disability services because his IQ is too high. In other words, he's capable of working and living on his own. He just doesn't want to.

So that's a summary of what I've been dealing with. My mental health is kinda in the toilet, so I figured I could use some of the positive energy that is encouraged by this site. I'm open to any suggestions on how to deal with some of this 5hit (especially with the kid part). I'll be fine once (and whenever) disability comes through, although I wouldn't mind making a bit more money on the side. Once I get disability, I figured I'll just close down my business, live off the government, and enjoy my remaining years to the best of my ability.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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But for the grace of God...

As a father who also works in medicine, I read your update and have a good handle on what you're dealing with; given the circumstances, it sounds harrowing, and you're doing your best.

I am glad you have a good woman at your side.

If you do have polymyositis, many people can achieve symptom improvement and maintain a good quality of life with appropriate treatment. I wish you all the luck with this, and welcome back.
 

zekko

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Hi Desdinova, I wondered where you had gone. Sorry to hear about your difficulties. It definitely helps to have someone you can rely on to help out with things. That's a solid advantage of LTRs IMO, although guys say their plates will do just as well, and I'm sure that's true in some cases. You mentioned getting the vaccine, are you saying that's what caused the polymyositis? Or maybe you were trying not to say it?
 

lubstur

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@Desdinova Damn... I hope this forum gives you the positive energy you deserve

As millennials, we are labeled as the laziest generation of our time, so I understand if your son doesn't want to work.

A person can't ever truly change unless they want to. Seems like you care for your son in your own way, I think you should look at this ordeal as a challenge to overcome and something for your son to look up to.
 

BeExcellent

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Nice to see you here Des, you have my empathy about what you are going through. I'm happy to hear your GF has been steadfast through it all.

The issues with your son sound more like autistic spectrum disorder. ADD and ADHD were commonly mis appropriated to people on the spectrum here in the states before ASD, formerly known as Aspergers entered the lexicon. It is typically accompanied by social anxiety, which the anxiety can be helped with anxiolytics. I'd respectfully suggest effort to find a professional capable of eval and differentiation. Schizoaffective dsorders and autism spectrum disorders suould tease out. Indviduals with either may have a very high IQ, and differentiation is important.

There are professionals you might be able to have do an eval from the states remotely, if you can swing it out of pocket, and that might offer some insight.

There is a Ken Robertson in San Francisco for example who specializes in ASD and has an excellent blog you can read.

Hope its helpful & good to see you.
 

Desdinova

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You mentioned getting the vaccine, are you saying that's what caused the polymyositis?
I went and joined a Myositis support group on Facebook. Someone at one point asked if they had any suspicions as to what caused their Polymyositis. I commented and said the COVID vaccine. What followed was a plethora of responses under my comment, all of them saying "me too". I was in disbelief over the number of responses, all from people who developed this disease after they had got the vaccine.

So, did it cause it? The only thing I can say is "quite possibly".
 

Slag

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I don't have any advice to give, but I wish you the best. Your situation sounds very difficult, it makes the problems I'm currently facing seem insignificant in comparison.
 

The Duke

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Glad you are back, you have always been an asset to SS and often mentioned while you were away.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

My mom is a retired nurse that has always been on top of her health and has since developed high blood pressure after receiving the Covid vaccine. Lots of weirdness out there related to Covid and the vaccine.
 

zekko

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So, did it cause it? The only thing I can say is "quite possibly".
Interesting. I won't belabor the point anymore since it's considered a controversial topic, and I don't want to derail the thread.
 

soulforge

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Glad you are back, you have always been an asset to SS and often mentioned while you were away.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

My mom is a retired nurse that has always been on top of her health and has since developed high blood pressure after receiving the Covid vaccine. Lots of weirdness out there related to Covid and the vaccine.
Yup know of several people, otherwise healthy.. Vacc-inated & now health has dramatically tanked.

OP hope you find some peace & health improves.

It's all well & good spinning plates, however death & illness is awaiting us all, this is the time when you want a good woman by your side & make good with the creator.
 

Roober

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Sorry to hear about your situation. You’ve been around here longer than me. And it’s amazing you found a great woman

I’ve heard carnivore diets have had significant reductions on inflammation. It’s entirely possible something in your diet could be causing all this inflammation.

Just for an example… My mom started having health issues that the doctors couldn’t fix, which is total BS in my book. She couldn’t breathe and we called 911 several times. Doctors came up with some retarded diagnosisI would swear they just make $hit up now.

So fast forwards… She went carnivore, lost a 100 lbs, and stopped taking all meds. She looks and feels amazing now at 63. Most people underestimate how poisonous our food supply is. There are countless stories of this diet eliminating people’s symptoms, which all revolve around… you guessed it… inflammation.

Maybe try just meat and salt for a month and see how it goes? What have you got to lose? At minimum, you will lose weight! No matter how much meat and fat you consume.

Books: The Carnivore Diet, Carnivore Code

I also worked in healthcare and they were forcing people to get the vaxx. That was the last day I ever worked a W2. There are many ways to make money online now, netting 10k a month or more. Let’s get your health fixed and then we can talk about multiplying your bank account.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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I had a really important person to me pass away back in 2019 before the new world order chaos. She had lupus which is also an autoimmune condition where the body basically attacks itself.
This phenomenon is similar to “friendly fire” and causes inflammation in various parts of the body. It produces periods of agonizing flares and remission. Predominantly in women. It can be brutal.
I was there for her despite my selfish fvcked up ways, we still made money together and I just watched her slip away.
She only made it 2 years with the condition but she still lived a “normal” life. She was a trooper and would run laps around the common dime a dozen woman.
Her bad luck finally caught up with her. I buried her casket in the cemetery here in Mexico with the shovel. She was 27 years old. The good die young.
Before Ive dealt death, now death had dealt with me. I smile less now.

I am still in a cold war with long-covid that I got back in Dec. 2021. My immune system just feels “hollow” and on the brink even though I try to stay in tip-top shape.
The powers that be knew what they were doing to the masses.

Maybe your boy needs school of hard knocks to pull himself up from the bootstraps.

I send you a friendly shot of resilience and grit,brother. You one of the old guard around here and you will soldier through it.
Your woman already took note of that and that is why she helping you hold down the fort. Masculinity and feminine energy working together is a powerful ripple effect.

“if you going through hell, keep going”
 
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Mertz09

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Glad you are back, you have always been an asset to SS and often mentioned while you were away.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.

My mom is a retired nurse that has always been on top of her health and has since developed high blood pressure after receiving the Covid vaccine. Lots of weirdness out there related to Covid and the vaccine.
I’ve read and heard that the vaccine has caused many problems for people that were healthy before they took it.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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I hope everyone who pushed for the poison vax and who laughed about others losing their jobs over it, get that they deserve, for being poppets.
 

manfrombelow

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OP, didn't know you as well as the other posters but I'm aware you're a veteran on here. Sorry to hear about your situation, and best of lucks to you bro! And congrats on having a GF that's been supporting you through tough time, she sounds like high-quality.
 

Murk

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I'd look at reversing the effects of the v*x naturally - plenty of stuff online about natural remedies, also get a second opinion, get your blood tested. I will pray you come through this.
 
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