"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Where is this Heading?

the_reader

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Ok DJ's!
So I had a dinner planned w/someone tomorrow, but she calls me tonight to tell me:

Her:" I just got my period today, and I don't feel like going when I have cramps and a headache."
Me: ok, don't worry about it then (I accept my loosses and get ready to hang up)
Her: how about tuesday instead?
Me: can't, i have class (truth)
Her: really...? so late?
Me: yes.
Her: how about thursday then?
Me: sure.

I txt messaged her after and just wrote a quick note that said "hope u feel better, call me when you do"

she calls me within 5 minutes, and makes fun of me for messaging her while i was at a party, and asks me again if Thursday is ok because she "really really really really really wants to eat italian food". I say jokingly " oh is that the ONLY reason why ?" and she says "no .. i want to try that other food you recommended"

She asked if I would call her later, and i said maybe when I get home. I ask when she's going to sleep and she says not till very late, and to call at anytime.

the thing is... she has class earlly in the morning on Friday, so I'm wondering if she purposely said thursday so that she wouldn't have to stay out to long with me like go out and do something after dinner.

I'm not sure if she just thinks it's a friendly "hang out" since when i asked her i just said "hey what are you doing this weekend? do you want to do something?" she said "like what" i say "dinner" and she says "sure", then later i add in a movie, and we coudlnt' really work out timming so she says "we can always go watch the movie another day"

So I'm wondering... how do I stand in this situation right now? As well, she never seemed to want to talk so much before... should I continue as I am or just move on?

What's your view on this situation?

Plz i'm new to the "working women" scene, so any help will be very graciously accepted!
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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boulepiquante

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****yandfunny her

really you should have ****yandfunnied her
'i got my period '
' so no sex tonite hard luck for you but
you see that s the way

YOU ' how about tuesday'
HER ' no i can t '

remember you got to sound and act as if you are the picky one

so you should have said i m busy this week i can t see you
YOU GOT TO MAKE HER CHASE YOUI ( thanx SWINGCAT bristol lair

b p
suid afrika
 

blinkwatt

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The both of you will find time,don't worry the time apart builds up anticipation. If she says to call at anytime,make it late,like really late were talking about in the a.m. Keep the phone conversation to a minumum,5 minutes max and say you have to do something. She knows what you are trying to get to with asking her to dinner,think about it. I know I have never asked just a friend who was a girl to dinner. She called you within 5 minutes, you have this made,DONT SCREW IT UP. Remember to kino it up and make some eye contact on the date/dinner whatever you may call it.
 

the_reader

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thnx for your replies blinkwatt and boulepiquante!
how late in the a.m? haha because i usually don't sleep till around 4:30am, she doesn't either.. but that's during exam time... i think after 2 am is too late correct?
 

JJMcLure

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"Wanna hang out" and "dinner" do not fit together. That is about as formal for a date as it gets. It is not hanging out. You should have suggested an ACTION DATE. (Do a search to find suggestions).

It would sound odd (incongruent) as if you were trying to act cool like it's no big thing, then going on and suggesting a formal/"big" thing. Please tell me you weren't going to dress in a suit and tie and have a candle and violinist at the table too for the first date?

She unquestionably knows what your intentions are. Even if you had suggested something less than dinner, she knows what you want. Chicks ASSUME it.

In theory, she counter offered so that's a positive. See if she follows through.

But hey, if she does show up maybe she just wants a free meal - unless she has a high confidence level and what she said was a joke. She also busted your balls for txting her? Is this chick a HB8 or above, does she get a lot of guys after her? You need to be on the case with her, don't supplicate or she will run rings around you. (Usually chicks tend to be somewhat nervous around guys they are attracted to - until the guy has clearly shown his hand that he likes them). At that point they start testing to see what they can get away with/get the guy to do/his confidence level.

If she just keeps putting it off, she just wants your attention and you're wasting your time. (Chicks feed off the attention of any guy).
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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the_reader

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thnx guys, i'm just going to dropp it though.

reasons:

-she said she'd call me back, never did
-she's going to watch a movie tonite (the one i suggested we watch after our dinner) probably with one of her "guy friends"
-she didnt seem to want to talk to me when i called

FAAAKKKKKK srry i sound afc, still trying to get over it.
 

LiveStrong

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that *****...best thing to do now is just next her...sorry man. What happened neways? You didnt come across as too eager for the date did you?...whatd u do to never get the date?
 

the_reader

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lol well i've come to the conclusion she's an AW, i did in fact get the date, she called 2 sundays ago and asked me out. we had fun, conversation lasted the whole dinner, more talking than eating.

then i asked her just this weekend if she wanted to have dinner w/me and some friends, she just said flat out 'no'. I interpreted it as she's just not interested in me period.

She e-mails me tonite saying we should have dinner again sometime and to call her when i feel up to it.

Why is she AW? she txt msgs me or e-mails me everytime i withdraw my attention for a good day or so.

but thanks all for the help haha, that's my follow up.
 
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