"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Where is the dividing line between lingering eye contact and staring?

nsxjg80

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I'm trying to improve maintaining eye contact when I talk to people in general and of course women so I was wondering how everyone else feels about how long is too long, how often you should look away, etc.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Triple T

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nsxjg80 said:
I'm trying to improve maintaining eye contact when I talk to people in general and of course women so I was wondering how everyone else feels about how long is too long, how often you should look away, etc.
You look at them in the eye when their talking, shows that your listening. (nod your head too in agreement)
When your talking you can make glances away every once in awhile. ehh, its hard to explain when to glance away over the internet for me. I just kinda picked up on it naturally.

Maybe someone else can explain this better...
 

COD

Master Don Juan
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ANYTHING LONGER THAN 7 SECONDS.........psych 101
 

DonJuan11

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nsxjg80 said:
I'm trying to improve maintaining eye contact when I talk to people in general and of course women so I was wondering how everyone else feels about how long is too long, how often you should look away, etc.
When you should look away? NEVER
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PrinceBeavis

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If she reaches in her purse for a can of pepper spray, you've made eye contact too long.
 
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