Blacksheep
Master Don Juan
It's been almost 2 years since I've gone no contact with my parents. And I want to share some experiences so far, and maybe it can serve someone going through that too.
The most important lesson I've learned recently: "When you start to detox yourself from toxic people and environment, you also start to detox yourself from toxic substances and also toxic mindsets."
Of course, it's not something quick, it takes time, and years in some cases. But I can observe this happening to me.
It's getting easier to eat healthy, to keep away from alcohol, caffeine and sugar (all of them I used to fulfill that void and frustration because of the abuse and traumas). Dealing with withdrawals is the hardest part, but it's worth every second of the fight.
I still have some fear of abandonment, and this is being bit hard to deal with as it affects my romantic relationships. But I can see a clear difference from 2 years ago.
My self-confidence is improving a lot too. Some part because of not abusing alcohol and caffeine, as my mind becomes more still... It's easy to see things more clearly.
So far I've lost 12kg and I'm feeling confident I will achieve the shape I want.
I still have to fix my sexual life, since part of my traumas was about sexual abuse.
I'm being recognized on my job as UI Designer and soon I hope to make more money. My main goal right now is to be able to buy my own apartment or house to cut rent bills.
I was always devalued in my parent's company as bad professional/person. Now I'm being able to really see what are my values and competencies as a professional. And receiving genuine feedbacks is helping me to cure this sense of unworth.
The road is still very long, but now I can see how toxic and detrimental my life was for 29yrs. I'm 31yrs old now, and it seems I've was born 2 yrs ago. When you're on an abusive dinamic with narcissists or psycopaths, they kind of try to destroy your self and also make you crazy with gaslighting. And basically what I feel I'm doing is rebuilding my repressed self... Like finding out who I really am.
Another important change I did was leaving the therapist I was working on and choose one that is specialized on abusive experiences. This is being a game changer. Also I thought the other one was being negative in some aspects and now I can see how this new one is being way more productive.
And what about all that, learn to be honest with yourself is hard. Accepting everything and also accepting that you have a lot of issues, insecurities and problems to solve can be like a 10x punch in your face.
If anyone are going through that I can say to resist the pain and never stop fighting. There is no certainty, but nothing in this life can be worse than accepting those kind of people in your life.
The most important lesson I've learned recently: "When you start to detox yourself from toxic people and environment, you also start to detox yourself from toxic substances and also toxic mindsets."
Of course, it's not something quick, it takes time, and years in some cases. But I can observe this happening to me.
It's getting easier to eat healthy, to keep away from alcohol, caffeine and sugar (all of them I used to fulfill that void and frustration because of the abuse and traumas). Dealing with withdrawals is the hardest part, but it's worth every second of the fight.
I still have some fear of abandonment, and this is being bit hard to deal with as it affects my romantic relationships. But I can see a clear difference from 2 years ago.
My self-confidence is improving a lot too. Some part because of not abusing alcohol and caffeine, as my mind becomes more still... It's easy to see things more clearly.
So far I've lost 12kg and I'm feeling confident I will achieve the shape I want.
I still have to fix my sexual life, since part of my traumas was about sexual abuse.
I'm being recognized on my job as UI Designer and soon I hope to make more money. My main goal right now is to be able to buy my own apartment or house to cut rent bills.
I was always devalued in my parent's company as bad professional/person. Now I'm being able to really see what are my values and competencies as a professional. And receiving genuine feedbacks is helping me to cure this sense of unworth.
The road is still very long, but now I can see how toxic and detrimental my life was for 29yrs. I'm 31yrs old now, and it seems I've was born 2 yrs ago. When you're on an abusive dinamic with narcissists or psycopaths, they kind of try to destroy your self and also make you crazy with gaslighting. And basically what I feel I'm doing is rebuilding my repressed self... Like finding out who I really am.
Another important change I did was leaving the therapist I was working on and choose one that is specialized on abusive experiences. This is being a game changer. Also I thought the other one was being negative in some aspects and now I can see how this new one is being way more productive.
And what about all that, learn to be honest with yourself is hard. Accepting everything and also accepting that you have a lot of issues, insecurities and problems to solve can be like a 10x punch in your face.
If anyone are going through that I can say to resist the pain and never stop fighting. There is no certainty, but nothing in this life can be worse than accepting those kind of people in your life.
