You put on your clothes, gel the hair, look in the mirror and high-five yourself, walk out, approach a girl, open her, she is giggling her ass off, you go for number close, but.... :nervous:
...something happens, and you have this gut feeling that she was shocked and felt awkward that you asked for her number. She reluctantly gives you her number, you say bye, call her the next day, nothing.
Call her again the day after, nothing.
Call her one more time, no answer, she is a flake, and number is deleted.
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So, could that have gone any better?
There is conventional wisdom that during your approach or during your date, you should build heavy rapport with your target and kino escalate as much as possible.
How many times anybody here has done that, and how many of your targets or dates flaked on you next time? :wave:
This used to happen to me all the time. The approaches and dates went perfectly, heavy physical contact, intense rapport, etc. but their interest went down DRAMATICALLY the next time I tried to get in touch with them. I couldn’t figure out why this kept happening…all the signs of interest were there, and they even said that they liked talking to or hanging out with me.
Then I realized that I wasn’t ejecting or ending the date at the highest point of comfort and attraction. You see, when our mood is neutral, and something good happens to us, we want more of it, obviously. You want to keep talking to that person so you are entertained more and feel better. But after awhile, you get “used to” that person and the feelings that they invoke. Conversation, the energy, the mood hits a plateau and you start taking the person for granted.
This is what happens when you approach somebody or are on a date. You can make her feel really good and excited with your approach or your date. She wants more of it so she will throw out signs of interest that says, “I like you. Keep making me feel good.” Eventually, she will hit a point at which her comfort level and attraction level will be at its highest point. Afterwards, they will drop. :kick:
I’ve found that how much they drop after this high point depends on lots of variables such as: length of time you stick around, content of your conversations, changes in your moods, etc.
Now somebody will say, “Well just change things up. You know, change the venue, teaser her here and there, make fun of her shoes, etc. to keep her on a rollercoaster of emotions.”
Well, that’s fine to do if you can manage to accomplish that. But if you don’t think you can, then why bother experimenting with “throwing her on a rollercoaster of emotions” when you can just leave and disappear?
So,
If you don’t want her to flake on you, end the approach/date at its highest point of comfort and attraction. What will happen is that she will remember how the last few minutes went and how she felt during that time MORE than she will remember the beginning or the middle of the entire period you were with her.
They say first impression makes or breaks you. I agree, but that sentence isn’t complete. Last impression remembers or forgets you.
We want her to REMEMBER you, your charisma, your sexual energy, your “he makes me feel good” vibe, etc. We don’t want her to FORGET you so she thinks, “Well, the date was fun but it sort of dragged out.” OR “Well, he was really cute and funny at the mall but I don’t really know him.”
By the way, this works with everybody. If you want people to remember you, make sure that your last moments you spend with them are filled with feelings. When things drag out, everybody just feels awkward and they will stop thinking of you as this “awesome, cool guy” and will go back to thinking of you as, “some ordinary guy who had his cool moments”.
We want to be extra-ordinary, not ordinary.
I have tons of examples of this if anybody wants to see any.
...something happens, and you have this gut feeling that she was shocked and felt awkward that you asked for her number. She reluctantly gives you her number, you say bye, call her the next day, nothing.
Call her again the day after, nothing.
Call her one more time, no answer, she is a flake, and number is deleted.
<><><><><>
So, could that have gone any better?
There is conventional wisdom that during your approach or during your date, you should build heavy rapport with your target and kino escalate as much as possible.
How many times anybody here has done that, and how many of your targets or dates flaked on you next time? :wave:
This used to happen to me all the time. The approaches and dates went perfectly, heavy physical contact, intense rapport, etc. but their interest went down DRAMATICALLY the next time I tried to get in touch with them. I couldn’t figure out why this kept happening…all the signs of interest were there, and they even said that they liked talking to or hanging out with me.
Then I realized that I wasn’t ejecting or ending the date at the highest point of comfort and attraction. You see, when our mood is neutral, and something good happens to us, we want more of it, obviously. You want to keep talking to that person so you are entertained more and feel better. But after awhile, you get “used to” that person and the feelings that they invoke. Conversation, the energy, the mood hits a plateau and you start taking the person for granted.
This is what happens when you approach somebody or are on a date. You can make her feel really good and excited with your approach or your date. She wants more of it so she will throw out signs of interest that says, “I like you. Keep making me feel good.” Eventually, she will hit a point at which her comfort level and attraction level will be at its highest point. Afterwards, they will drop. :kick:
I’ve found that how much they drop after this high point depends on lots of variables such as: length of time you stick around, content of your conversations, changes in your moods, etc.
Now somebody will say, “Well just change things up. You know, change the venue, teaser her here and there, make fun of her shoes, etc. to keep her on a rollercoaster of emotions.”
Well, that’s fine to do if you can manage to accomplish that. But if you don’t think you can, then why bother experimenting with “throwing her on a rollercoaster of emotions” when you can just leave and disappear?
So,
If you don’t want her to flake on you, end the approach/date at its highest point of comfort and attraction. What will happen is that she will remember how the last few minutes went and how she felt during that time MORE than she will remember the beginning or the middle of the entire period you were with her.
They say first impression makes or breaks you. I agree, but that sentence isn’t complete. Last impression remembers or forgets you.
We want her to REMEMBER you, your charisma, your sexual energy, your “he makes me feel good” vibe, etc. We don’t want her to FORGET you so she thinks, “Well, the date was fun but it sort of dragged out.” OR “Well, he was really cute and funny at the mall but I don’t really know him.”
By the way, this works with everybody. If you want people to remember you, make sure that your last moments you spend with them are filled with feelings. When things drag out, everybody just feels awkward and they will stop thinking of you as this “awesome, cool guy” and will go back to thinking of you as, “some ordinary guy who had his cool moments”.
We want to be extra-ordinary, not ordinary.
I have tons of examples of this if anybody wants to see any.