When she wants to live together with you.

[The Duke]

@Gamisch the smartest thing you can do is take is very slow. Keep a don't care if it works or not attitude. And do not move her in with you. Give this deal a few months and see where it goes.

A female is always on her best behavior(submissive, charming, sweet, etc) because she wants something from you, don't forget they are all great actors when they want something.

 

[Gamisch]

@Gamisch the smartest thing you can do is take is very slow. Keep a don't care if it works or not attitude. And do not move her in with you. Give this deal a few months and see where it goes.

A female is always on her best behavior(submissive, charming, sweet, etc) because she wants something from you, don't forget they are all great actors when they want something.

I went by this advice for now. I literally told her that we will take it slow for now. She can come over and stay a couple of days every few weeks .

She lives in another city and said she wants to be closer to me. She contemplated moving to the same city.... she is clearly at this stage in life where she down for anything. This is how I ended up in similar situations with women , simply because "it made sense to live together ". These relationships ended up being disastrous.

For now it will stay how it is . Thank you all for thinking along and setting me straight.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I went by this advice for now. I literally told her that we will take it slow for now. She can come over and stay a couple of days every few weeks .

She loves in another city and said she wants to be closer to me. She contemplated moving to the same city.... she is clearly at this athe in life where she this is how I ended up in similar situations with women , simply because "it made sense to live together ". Thise relationships ended up being disastrous.

For now it will stay how it is . Thank you all for thinking along and setting me straight.

There you go. Middle ground. Good luck.

 

[zekko]

Long story short, my ex came back and she is more submissive than ever before. She literally begged me for another chance, and that's how it supposed to be. The imprint is like a tattoo in her heart and soul, this woman will always return to me it seems.

Whether you want to live with her or not, I agree this is how it should be. She should want to live with you. I've never quite understood the idea that if she wants to live with you that marks you as a beta boyfriend type.

How would you guys go about this? Would you entertain the idea, or would reject it? It feels like it kinda childish to stay in this " spinning plates" stage forever. And yes, I will definitely feck other women ( which i am also doing already).

If you're still planning on fecking other women, I would say you are not ready to live with her. And if you are still planning on fecking other women, you would still be spinning plates.

 

[Gamisch]

Whether you want to live with her or not, I agree this is how it should be. She should want to live with you. I've never quite understood the idea that if she wants to live with you that marks you as a beta boyfriend type.



If you're still planning on fecking other women, I would say you are not ready to live with her. And if you are still planning on fecking other women, you would still be spinning plates.

I have to say, I am fecking other women more because "situations crossed". She showed up, and in was already fexking another woman occasionally.

Previously I would drop other women in this situation . Now I am just playing the field and see where things go.

I dont even have this huge urge anymore to feck as many women as possible, dont get me wrong. And I am obviously aware that if she would move in, than fecking other women is out the window or at least will be more like straight up cheating. Living together = LTR on steroids . And yes, I do fear we will go back to the oneitius , bluepilled type of LTR with the useall consequences. The challenge for me would be to keep frame and enjoy it for as long as it last and is fun.

Like you say in the first paragraph, its good to see its all her idea and initiave nowadays. Things are going really easy. Everyone tells me ( rightfully so) to be careful, but how would you respond when your ex comes back fully submissive and doing her best? Heck, the thread no contact is the longest living thread on SS. There is no " move on thread " or something like that. So you follow the advice and put in the work ,and geuss what; she responds actually positively, better than you could ever imagine or expect. What's next? Just take the ego boost and ditch her while dealing with all the familiar bs that spinning fast plates brings, or reap the benefits with a new mindset and enjoy her improved behavior?

 

[Dr.Suave]

There is no " move on thread " or something like that. So you follow the advice and put in the work ,and geuss what; she responds actually positively, better than you could ever imagine or expect. What's next? Just take the ego boost and ditch her while dealing with all the familiar bs that spinning fast plates brings, or reap the benefits with a new mindset and enjoy her improved behavior?

Maybe there should be a "Move On" thread. We should get around to it.

You should reap the benefits. BUT you should reap the benefits without giving her exclusivity. She should be another plate in your rotation. Just my opinion, because I feel very strong about this particular Iron Rule of not getting back with an ex. But only you can decide whats best for you.

 

[dude99]

Long story short, my ex came back and she is more submissive than ever before. She literally begged me for another chance, and that's how it supposed to be. The imprint is like a tattoo in her heart and soul, this woman will always return to me it seems.

If any other member would post this thread I would probably advise against it. But when you are in the situation yourself , it's not that easy it seems. The best "players " scream and shout from the sideline, right?

This is that stage/ moment where she really thought it through , and seems 100% ready to do this. Dont get me wrong. Its kinda nice to have a submissive hot woman offering herself like this. But needless to say, the " window of opportunity " won't stay open forever.

It seems inevitable that a (grown) woman will eventually bring this up , especially when you convinced her you'll be (one of) the best she ever had/ will have. Women want children, be a mother ect. I also believe that being the head of a family is the pinnacle of manhood. This mindset is completely different from the (redpill-ish) male way of thinking ,where the man tries to keep a certain amount of freedom.


When you fecking her correctly, both mentally and physically, she will submit. Strange how this works, when I was younger I would gladly entertain the idea. Now I am...skeptical at best.

For reference, I am 38,I've lived together twice already, and got a child already.

How would you guys go about this? Would you entertain the idea, or would reject it? It feels like it kinda childish to stay in this " spinning plates" stage forever. And yes, I will definitely feck other women ( which i am also doing already).

The pinnacle if being a man is achieving inner peace within himself.

Whether that is through family/kids/marriage, through his job/hobbies religion etc etc etc. Is entirely up to the individual.

You can't put a value on peace.

Ask yourself, does she add to your inner peace or does she disrupt it. She is an ex for a reason. Do not sacrifice your peace becuse she is "behaving appropriately," for now. Remember a woman knows how to behave when she wants something. How she behaves after she gets it may be another story.

 

[Gamisch]

The pinnacle if being a man is achieving inner peace within himself.

Whether that is through family/kids/marriage, through his job/hobbies religion etc etc etc. Is entirely up to the individual.

You can't put a value on peace.

Ask yourself, does she add to your inner peace or does she disrupt it. She is an ex for a reason. Do not sacrifice your peace becuse she is "behaving appropriately," for now. Remember a woman knows how to behave when she wants something. How she behaves after she gets it may be another story.

Absolutely. I am telling you, at first I felt some kinda shame making this thread, but I now realize I made its good I did it. Good to see my own opinion and read it kinda like a dairy.

The reason this woman is my ex is because she is generally toxic. Nothing to see here, just another "modern " LTR. She is not necessarily being toxic right now or being a bad person , but overtime toxicity will reappear .

It's the cynical part about this whole ex back shyte. Now you get it back but do you REALLY want it back? Yes, she is trying her best but also occupying me, basically "demanding the better sides of me". I (simpppppp) love to treat people / women right , and I wont be able to keep up this " azzhole act" for ever. Soon bluepill oneites willl creep back into my system again.

I will test her , and I'll be hard pressed to see her act like this passed the HGS ( hot girl summer). Just a random timestamp. After that period I might reevaluate everything. I will seriously keep up this in the " take it slow " phase for at least 6 to 8 months . If she wants to walk, she can go at anytime.

 

[Gamisch]

I can tell you that in all my years on this site, I have only seen this scenario turn into disaster. Most recently, LogicalLefty. However, there is some selection bias since people only post about it when it doesnt work.

I think my intend was to show an actual working situation , a success type of story where the man does " win" and gets her back

" hey guys, I managed to make the bytch do that complete 180!!".

In order to live together you MUST have above average faith in the woman. Like I said before , I do believe I am improving and that it MIGHT trigger a different response from her. But i can't fool myself, women always have an agenda unfortunately. I'll treat her like a decent human been until HGS is over and see what's up from there.

 

[Murk]

You’re taking the easy route, been there done that. This women will fall pregnant and trap you. You said her long term plans are to be a mother, that’s great, I love that, but if she’s not your forever then eject now while you still can. Don’t waste both of your time further. Find a new less toxic hotter, younger woman.

 

[Gamisch]

You’re taking the easy route, been there done that. This women will fall pregnant and trap you. You said her long term plans are to be a mother, that’s great, I love that, but if she’s not your forever then eject now while you still can. Don’t waste both of your time further. Find a new less toxic hotter, younger woman.

I think your first sentence is spot on...

It is the easy route. I basically didn't do anything and just get this submissive woman back in my life. If she would've only made it 1% harder I would run. Almost seems like she read some how- to get a man back- forums.

I kid you not she made a "plan of action " to win me back. I just kick back and enjoy the show..Yet you are right. I am more curious and excited about the women I dont even know right now than I am about her.

Easy come easy go is what they say isnt it? I have to say @Murk , what do you (and other ofcourse ) feel about the fact that her father apparently is also actively pushing her towards me?

 

[Murk]

I think your first sentence is spot on...

It is the easy route. I basically didn't do anything and just get this submissive woman back in my life. If she would've only made it 1% harder I would run. Almost seems like she read some how- to get a man back- forums.

I kid you not she made a "plan of action " to win me back. I just kick back and enjoy the show..Yet you are right. I am more curious and excited about the women I dont even know right now than I am about her.

Easy come easy go is what they say isnt it? I have to say @Murk , what do you (and other ofcourse ) feel about the fact that her father apparently is also actively pushing her towards me?

I think her dad just wants her married off/settled down and out of his house or off his hand, she’s now 30 so on limited time to secure someone. It’s good he likes you, makes life easier, but I would also be questioning (like you have) why some other guy has not taken her off the market. I know she’s attracted to you but women are women there can always be someone else.