When good prospects go bad...?

[Six-String Samurai]

Okay, tonight I realized that I've been too AFCish with my main prospect. I had previously thought that I was DJing her a fair amount, but tonight I realized I was still letting myself get pushed around a tad. She told me she wanted to come over for a few drinks and stuff but had no ride other than a guy and girl she was with... two strangers and potential ****blocks. So she asked if they could come over, too.

In the past, I would have instantly acquiesced just to get this girl over to my place, but tonight I put my foot down. If she was bringing company, she was not welcome. The AIM convo ended and she stopped talking for a bit. I figured she was pissed that she couldn't come over and mooch off my weed/alcohol, so I said "to hell with this *****" and started listening to some music. About 5 minutes later she says "oh Samurai, why do you have to make things so difficult? What time are you free tomorrow?" At this, I had a huge surge of confidence and C&F'd her pretty hard for a couple minutes. We made plans, but then she asked if she could bring a mutual smoking friend (guy) along. I told her she probably shouldn't. She said she was okay with that, but wanted to know MY reason for not wanting him there. When I played dumb, she said "never mind".

So now I figure I either A) showed my hand and she was trying to intercept me from going any farther, or B) she was fishing for some admission of interest from me. It's hard to tell over AIM. Scrambling, I made a couple comments afterwards that I had nothing against this guy or anything... but I don't feel like I gained the upper hand back. She changed the subject. After a few moments, she finally said "Samurai, just pick me up... forget about the other two". With a grin on my face, I told her she could wait till tomorrow, and that anticipation was fun. I can't believe that this HB9 just begged me to pick her up and I ****in' turned her down! She got so aggravated when I wouldn't let myself be *****ed around like all the other guys around her! She was like "okay okay you're right, I don't like it, but you're right, see you tomorrow at 4"

At any rate, she is still coming over to my apartment tomorrow evening after I get off work. And she will be coming alone, thanks to my work towards that. I figure I'll be sure to keep an eagle eye out tomorrow for receptiveness. This won't be the first time she's been over to my pad, but it'll be the first time she comes over alone. For a while now, I've been planning to make a move the next time she comes over, but that little speed bump in our convo shook me off my game a little. She was falling like dominoes for every textbook DJ move, and then for a second it seemed like she was telling me not to get the wrong idea or something.

Think I should just go full steam ahead as planned? Or is there a couple of good things I should say/do/ask her when she first gets here? Comments plz

 

[rgeere]

She told me she wanted to come over for a few drinks and stuff but had no ride other than a guy and girl she was with... two strangers and potential ****blocks. So she asked if they could come over, too.

If she had sex on her mind she would want to be alone with you.



In the past, I would have instantly acquiesced just to get this girl over to my place, but tonight I put my foot down. If she was bringing company, she was not welcome. The AIM convo ended and she stopped talking for a bit. I figured she was pissed that she couldn't come over and mooch off my weed/alcohol, so I said "to hell with this *****" and started listening to some music.

I would assume from my own experiences that you guessed correctly.


About 5 minutes later she says "oh Samurai, why do you have to makethings so difficult? What time are you free tomorrow?"

When a girl uses terms of endearment she is attempting to manipulate you for some reason. Did you fall for this?


At this, I had a huge surge of confidence and C&F'd her pretty hard for a couple minutes.

She manipulating you...


We made plans, but then she asked if she could bring a mutual smoking friend (guy) along.

She doesn't want to have sex with you...



I told her she probably shouldn't. She said she was okay with that, but wanted to know MY reason for not wanting him there. When I played dumb, she said "never mind".

It's none of her buisness why you don't want him there. Elude to nothing.


So now I figure I either

A) showed my hand and she was trying to intercept me from going any farther,

or

B) she was fishing for some admission of interest from me.


or

C) ALL of the above, plus she was trying to be manipulative.



It's hard to tell over AIM. Scrambling, I made a couple comments afterwards that I had nothing against this guy or anything... but I don't feel like I gained the upper hand back.

Don't say anything about the guy. Just say no and mean it.


She changed the subject. After a few moments, she finally said "Samurai, just pick me up... forget about the other two".

Fishing for chump behaviour.



With a grin on my face, I told her she could wait till tomorrow, and that anticipation was fun. I can't believe that this HB9 just begged me to pick her up and I ****in' turned her down! She got so aggravated when I wouldn't let myself be *****ed around like all the other guys around her! She was like "okay okay you're right, I don't like it, but you're right, see you tomorrow at 4"

Again fishing for chump behaviour unless she knows that is when you get off work and willing to find her own way to your house.


At any rate, she is still coming over to my apartment tomorrow evening after I get off work. And she will be coming alone, thanks to my work towards that. I figure I'll be sure to keep an eagle eye out tomorrow for receptiveness.

Women fake receptiveness to see if they can use it to manipulate you. I'd be very caucious with her , but not all of them are this way.


This won't be the first time she's been over to my pad, but it'll be the first time she comes over alone. For a while now, I've been planning to make a move the next time she comes over, but that little speed bump in our convo shook me off my game a little. She was falling like dominoes for every textbook DJ move, and then for a second it seemed like she was telling me not to get the wrong idea or something.

She may not have been, but a girl who wants sex will come alone not with a whole hoard of her friends.


Think I should just go full steam ahead as planned? Or is there a couple of good things I should say/do/ask her when she first gets here? Comments plz

As a suggestion I would recommend staying about 10 - 15 minutes at your apartment when she arrives then go do something somewhere. Just before she starts to feel like leaving initiate that it's time to leave and head back to the apartment, then make a move on her.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Dude, thanks a lot for taking the time to give me that input. I really needed the outside eye. Much appreciated!

 

[Hurri]

Didn't go in as much detail as rgeere but the basic idea is that she was **** testing u about the matual guy friend coming too. and well.... u failed the **** test. Next her.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Originally posted by Hurri
Didn't go in as much detail as rgeere but the basic idea is that she was **** testing u about the matual guy friend coming too. and well.... u failed the **** test. Next her.

See, the thing is... I don't know, maybe something got lost in my storytelling, but I don't think I failed the test, and I don't think I should next her yet. I refused to allow the others over, and I refused to pick her up when she wanted. And yet she was still really eager to set up the "date" and everything.

I think I'll be cautious as rgeere suggested and make my move tomorrow. I've put in a good amount of DJ time with this girl now, if I wait much longer I'll fall into the ***** zone. If she rejects me, at least I'll have a humorous field report for tomorrow. I'll keep everyone posted, at least for my own organization's sake.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Six-String Samurai
Dude, thanks a lot for taking the time to give me that input. I really needed the outside eye. Much appreciated!

No problem. Just remember that the stubborn self-absorbed manipulative types don't normally make good company or relationship material. These girls are good if you only want sex and nothing commited , but you have to be a better manipulator or you can't put them into a position to submit.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Originally posted by rgeere
No problem. Just remember that the stubborn self-absorbed manipulative types don't normally make good company or relationship material. These girls are good if you only want sex and nothing commited , but you have to be a better manipulator or you can't put them into a position to submit.

Absolutely agreed, and you are correct... this HB9 is on the self-absorbed, "used to getting everything she wants" side. I don't plan to submit an inch... in fact I aim to conquer the beast! I have no real LTR plans should this all work out... but I would like to boink her for a significant amount of time if at all possible

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Okay, well this girl is coming over right now to hang out. I'm gonna play things by ear but I'm hoping to make my move while she's here. Feels kinda weird cause it's late afternoon and not quite night-time (my favorite DJ time), but I feel pumped and ready to go. I figure I'll either end up with a ****ing fantastic, hot girl to hook up with for the next little while, or a really funny rejection field report. Wish me luck...

 

[Dee-Zy]

Re: Re: When good prospects go bad...?

Originally posted by rgeere


If she had sex on her mind she would want to be alone with you.

basicly.


I was gonna have a few words, but it looks like you know what to do, I'm waiting on that report.